What's the fattest thing you or someone you know has done?
 

Let's hear about the most disgusting eating practices you have inflicted upon your disgusting bodies. Would also LOVE to hear stories about fat coworkers doing fat things or even just random strangers.

I love a good food freakshow, let's get this show ON THE ROAD.

Here are some disgusting fatbody stories:

I just ate one and a half Hy Vee pizzas and had half a gallon of ice cream earlier today. And 8 bowls of cereal.

Here's a good one from my youth:

I went to school with this tubby little Scot named Oswin King. Great name for a fat kid, right? I always remember at lunch he would eat really ****ing fast. Just inhale his tray of shitty ass UK school food.

His excuse was that he was under doctor's orders to eat that way. Riiiight. EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT

Also, when I was young, a relative would eat McDonalds french fries in the most disgusting manner. They would dip their ENTIRE FRY in ketchup, and then nibble a bit off the end. Then they would re-submerge the fry for the next bite. Repulsive.

So that's like 6,000 calories. Carb up?

This is a true story. In high school, I had a giant German Shepherd named Kujo. One night, I was on the couch eating a giant bag of m&m's. I dropped one underneath where I was sitting, and without thinking, I reached to pick it up and plop it in my mouth. Unfortunately, I didn't grab what I thought was the m&m, and I certainly didn't bite into what I thought was the m&m. It was a dog tick from Kujo's huge ass.

My friend used to cut hair.

She told me this whale I used to work with came in and got stuck in the chair. Like wedged.

She used to cut her size whale shorts down the side so she could get them over herself. Then of course the fat would be showing through the cut.

No food stories. But damn. She was fat.

Nope. Pure gluttony.

I'm forced off of the diet for 2 weeks.

A+

I watched a lady eat a personal pizza with a knife and fork. Dipped every single piece in ranch dressing.

I followed up a grilled lunch ribeye AND potato... with a Burger Sling Big King and fries that evening, oh yeah mfer, and I enjoyed it too.

No guilt, no shame just get back on the train.

Jesus. How much weight are you planning to gain? I'm guessing you gained a pound already today.

That's fat? I do that every time I visit a pizza buffet.

My niece and nephew slather pizza in ranch. It makes me want to puke.

In fact they're the ones I grilled up a kickass ribeye steak for and then they promptly dipped it in ranch. Their lives nearly ended that day.

I dunno. Only going off the diet crazy for a week. Tapering back down this week and doing another round of UD 2.0 probably.

But I'm bloated as **** right now.