‘I Was Trying To Make The Horse Have a Baby’
 

Zoophile: ‘I Was Trying To Make The Horse Have a Baby’

http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/b...aby/index.html

Maybe no one explained to Andrew Mendoza of Wharton County Texas, that some things are better left unsaid, but Mendoza, who was accused of sexing up the neighbor’s horse, wanted to explain himself and so waived his right to remain silent. Having read the report, this writer really wishes he hadn’t.

According to his statement Mendoza was waiting for his girlfriend to come over, but when she hadn’t called by 11 p.m., he decided to go over his neighbor’s and have sex with their brown horse. Was he lonely, merely reaching out to another human,— I mean species — for comfort; or was this just a petty attempt to make his girlfriend jealous? Well, it’s even weirder than that. Unfortunately he describes in detail his ‘good time’ with the horse, whose name was not released by police, adding that, “The horse did not try to move or nothing it just stood there while I was f***king it. I guess the horse was liking it.” That’s what they all say.

He also shared his motive, “I was trying to make the horse have a baby. I was thinking it would have a horseman baby.” He merrily concluded, “I ain’t gonna lie, I blew a nut in the horse.” Thank you for sharing, Mr. Mendoza.

Mendoza, who already had a lengthy rap sheet, pleaded guilty to criminal trespass and public lewdness. He was sentenced to four months in jail. He wasn’t so merry when he was later serving a separate sentence for trespassing and indecency with a child. We may never know if he blamed his girlfriend for that too, because he hanged himself in his cell.

Horse shit

Read the report below. Man this is hilarious....especially because of his truthfulness and because of his use of really bad language in an official report to police.

http://i.cdn.turner.com/dr/teg/tsg/r...endozadoc1.jpg

Holy shit, that was some of the best stuff I've read in quite some time.

"I ain't gonna lie, I blew a nut in the horse".

I promise that I have not been back over to the horse since that time. This was the only time I effed the neighbor's horse.

i'm paraprashing here "i promise, i haven't been back to **** the horse".LMAO

are we sure this didn't happen in florida?LMAO

Should have kept his mouth shut. You gotta know when to foal them.

If Jack helped you off a horse, would you help Jack off a horse?

he was a shoe in to go to jail

i dont know where he learned this behavior...he mustang out with the wrong crowd

All he was looking for was a stable relationship

This man was so saddle try to sleep with anything - even a horse!

This horse really knew how to stirrup his sex drive

Not the first time...

http://i27.tinypic.com/10eoaky.jpg http://www.dallasnews.com/incoming/2...LL_OF_FAME.jpg

"Texas" the new "Florida" ?!?!


Hey Meyhico you can have Texas back.

He went to jail, but he wasn't there furlong

someone please cue the Q!!!:p

His sex life was in shambles so he just decided to foald

Just a bunch of horseplay. No harm, no foal.

He picked this pony because it couldn't cry out for help.

It was a little horse.

Obama wants to grant this guy citizenship??

Send him to the glue factory.

And a horseman baby was born.

http://www.sportsherniablog.com/.a/6...333a970d-400wi

This will never happen with Eric Berry. He aint playin' wit no horses, bruh.

Oh my god...you've never made a post that was more appropriately followed by your signature.

Damn illegal aliens.

Go hang yourself.

Oh wait...

Yet another horseman baby who will grow up without a father. The responsibility will once again fall to the taxpayers.

Where is it stated that this guy was an illegal alien?

And can you really blame the guy? When this is your girlfriend, deciding to not **** a horse isn't so cut and dry.

http://sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeah...pg?w=450&h=350

LMAO Might even be an upgrade.

Dude... wait. A centaur?

Has anyone checked that horse? This could be awesome.

Dipshit. Immigrants don't use phrases like "I ain't gonna lie. I blew a nut in that horse."

The ones I know do.

So this is the Mendoza line I hear so much about. (sry if repost)

Are you an expert on what they do say?

I would imagine the reason the horse did not move and just stood there would be that if it could speak it would have said "Is it in yet?"

amazing what is said and done.

you can't make this kind of stuff up

Oh he definitely tried that, problem is that it was real.

If that worked, Scotland would be full of sheepmen.

Omaha's house would be full of menmen

horsepucky .....

Sounded like a smart guy. What a loss. He was just here to make a better life for himself.

Didn't Cortez introduce horses to Mexico years ago?

FYP

Well, atleast this story had a happy ending.

Mexicans are ****ing the horses no white person wants to ****

So the horse was consenting?

She wanted it

ROFL :clap: :drool: ROFL

I've heard that Wales is where you'll find the most sheep shaggers. I wonder if the Greek tales of centaurs, satyrs, and minotaurs were made up by the women to make the men too scared to mount the livestock. :hmmm:

How long does a horse need to go full term?:)

“_______ ain’t gonna lie, they blew a nut in the horse.” should be a rep level on this forum.

Probably didn't notice

Should be used the next time we beat the donkeys.

Considering all aspects of this story, I'm certain there's a witty line involving the phrase "hung like a horse" -- I just can't seem to get ahold of a good one.

If only he had severely injured his spine while establishing his positioning to have sex with the horse, then there'd be a good deal of humor in the line: Brokeback Mountin'.

As Dave Attell says, " When you **** a horse, you know you'll always have a ride home."

Well he didn't say the horse was naying.

You never hear that these guys get shot. I guess with their pants around their ankles they cant' get away quickly. You'd have no defense in court.

This thread is awesome

Yeah but what if the horse is really hot?

HEY.....I was born in Scotland. That was a baaaaaaaaaaaaad thing to say about my fellow countrymen.

"I was trying to make the horse have a baby" -Jack Elway 1970

The end of the story says while in jail he hung himself. Wouldn't that qualify. He hung himself like a horse?

This was bad I know.

No amount of "ROFL"s suffice

Well, he hung one ON a horse...

You're not a sheepman, are you? :hmmm:

I'm curious was it like throwing a hotdog down a hallway? Or is the guy hung like a horse?

His long national neigh mare is over.