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-   -   Rejected Penthouse Letters (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=40515)

WisChief 10-02-2002 01:11 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by Kevin
Coming on the heels of posts 22 through 25, is anyone else worried that Wischief put "ladies" in quote marks in post 26?

Kevin, have you seen the "ladies" in TJ?

What can I say? Young, stupid and full of vigor! :p

58Forever 10-02-2002 01:43 PM
Back in the early 80's I was doing pest control when I get called to do a job at this house in Johnson County...

So I walk in and there are these two hot women sitting at the kitchen table..."I have to start upstairs" I said. "Fine" they say...one of the chicks is wearing this tight tee shirt and I could see her perky breasts and the outline of her nips...I was staring at her breats so I couldn't help but notice her tee shirt said "Conan the Barbarian" on it...anyway I go upstairs all the while thinking maybe these two chicks will come up and seduce me just like Penthouse letters or some such shit...needless to say they didn't...but when the movie Conan the Barbarian came out, I realized the chick with the nice breasts was none other then Sandahl Bergman....100% true...closest I ever came to doing a movie star in real life anyway...

http://home.t-online.de/home/rabend/she/conaf14.jpg

DrNick 10-02-2002 01:45 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by mlyonsd
Here's mine!:

My wife and I went to a hotel once, stripped down, got into bed and did it. In the morning we ate at Perkins, I had the Country Fried Steak.


I never could figure out why they didn't print it.
ROFL :D

Iowanian 10-02-2002 01:48 PM
One sunday afternoon, as I walked through the convent orchard, a slightly "stalky" nun came dashing out the door. The wind caught her Habbit and blew it wistfully into the air, revealing the side of her hairy neck...Her age was starting to show, in the 85 year old silver, creaping towards her scalp. I picked up an apple off of the ground and took it to her, shining it on my dirty tee shirt, asking her if she'd like a bite. She gummed through her toothless smile that If I'd take it to the kitchen blender, she could have half, because a whole apple would loosen her bowel.....

thats all I have for now.



I'm working on a story about some Taliban Burka-nighty stories too!

58Forever 10-02-2002 01:55 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by Iowanian
One sunday afternoon, as I walked through the convent orchard, a slightly "stalky" nun came dashing out the door. The wind caught her Habbit and blew it wistfully into the air, revealing the side of her hairy neck...Her age was starting to show, in the 85 year old silver, creaping towards her scalp. I picked up an apple off of the ground and took it to her, shining it on my dirty tee shirt, asking her if she'd like a bite. She gummed through her toothless smile that If I'd take it to the kitchen blender, she could have half, because a whole apple would loosen her bowel.....
Sounds more like a story for Catholic Times to me...

tk13 10-02-2002 02:15 PM
Guys...I'm in a computer lab...and I'm sitting right next to a blonde. And underneath her clothes...she is naked.... now I need to hit ENTER before she sees this and slaps me..

I know this wasn't as good as my "Hot chicks talking fantasy football thread"...but it's the best I can come up with for now...

CHIEF4EVER 03-04-2003 02:36 PM
Bumpski

CosmicPal 03-04-2003 02:57 PM
This kills me every time I think of this:

Years ago, fresh out of college, I was sharing a house with a few other roomies. One happened to be beautiful, vivacious blonde gal with piercing green eyes and breasts big enough to provide shade for small boys.

Anyhoo, we were alone one night...she wanted a massage. So, she laid down on the floor, (in her sweats), fully clothed, as I gave here a full massage. Needless to say, I was getting frisky, and couldn't stand it anymore...so, for some reason, I tickle her, she spins around facing me on the floor- laughing like crazy. We're both laughing when we get to staring at each other with a devilish smile...I'm (you know what), and I'm sure she's feelin' it...our heads begin approaching each other to start making out- when all of a sudden the front door slams open - and our roomies show up! Ugggghh!!!:banghead:

I wanted it so bad...:huh:

CosmicPal 03-04-2003 03:19 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by ENDelt260


Why'd you stop?
The guys were not happy to see me on top of her like that...We were just about to "suck face" when they walked in. The guy who rented out the house was anal-retentive- he had a rule that absolutely no "*****ing" other roomies in his house or it will be cause for removal.

I was young then...needed a cheap place, and so did Tara. I hear she's actually in Denver as well. I might have to locate her, and see if she's still single, and would like to continue the massage further.
;)

Braincase 03-04-2003 03:24 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by Kevin
My rejected Penthouse Story (Sad but True)

When I was about 25, I went on a business trip to Monterey, California. I was renting my car, and a very attractive young woman was behind the counter. I asked her about some good places to sightsee, and she was giving advice. Then she said, "It's sad that you're going to all of these neat places by yourself. You don't have anyone you'd like to go with?"

I said, "Oh, it's not problem. I like going places by myself. In fact, it's better that way." She gave me my keys, and I sat in my car and slammed my head against the steering wheel for the next ten minutes.
And he's still a virgin...

Skip Towne 03-04-2003 04:41 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by Kevin
My rejected Penthouse Story (Sad but True)

When I was about 25, I went on a business trip to Monterey, California. I was renting my car, and a very attractive young woman was behind the counter. I asked her about some good places to sightsee, and she was giving advice. Then she said, "It's sad that you're going to all of these neat places by yourself. You don't have anyone you'd like to go with?"

I said, "Oh, it's not problem. I like going places by myself. In fact, it's better that way." She gave me my keys, and I sat in my car and slammed my head against the steering wheel for the next ten minutes.
Gochiefs, Is that you?

whoman69 03-04-2003 08:13 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by mlyonsd
Here's mine!:

My wife and I went to a hotel once, stripped down, got into bed and did it. In the morning we ate at Perkins, I had the Country Fried Steak.


I never could figure out why they didn't print it.
You and Phobs need to figure out that they're not going to print your letter unless you talk about your giant throbbing manhood and her perfect 38Ds that are real. You gotta read the fine print in their submissions section.

Rain Man 03-05-2003 01:27 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by Skip Towne
Gochiefs, Is that you?
Heh-heh. I had to pay a mileage penalty because I drove around and around the rental car place the rest of the week.

DrNick 03-05-2003 01:28 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by Kevin


Heh-heh. I had to pay a mileage penalty because I drove around and around the rental car place the rest of the week.
ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

~Wasn't ready for that one....:D

Iowanian 03-08-2004 04:06 PM
With Spring Approaching....its nearing the season where the sensual wind whispers of possible neked ladies in River Falls Wisconsin.

I humbly await frequilizer's sequel......the Sequalizer! I like it.

This thread had sooo much potential.


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