Big Balls = Bad Dad!
 

New Band Name: Ward Cleaver's Tiny Ball Sack!

http://tinyurl.com/ouglzfs

Men with larger testicles tend to be less involved fathers than those with smaller testes, a new study suggests.

The findings, detailed today (Sept. 9) in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, are correlational, so they can't say exactly why the trend exists but only that there is a link.

But men who produce more sperm have bigger testes, and sperm production is extremely energy intensive for the body, so it may be that fathers "face a trade-off between investing energy in parenting and investing energy in mating effort," said study co-author James Rilling, an anthropologist at Emory University in Atlanta.

Scores of studies have shown that children with involved and caring fathers tend to do better emotionally, socially and educationally.

So Rilling and his colleagues were interested in understanding what makes some men stellar dads and others AWOL.

Who is funding this shit? Please tell me it isn't the taxpayer.

Uh-oh...

Guys With Small Nuts Association

how the hell do you measure your nuts?
sec

By the imprints left on a chick's ass.

so, the wrinkles are my friends...
sec

very carefully

Maybe teabag one of those scales used for postage?

Hopefully not the wrinkles on her ass

Reason 897 I don't have kids.

Well I'm upper upper class high society

My kids don't need me anyway /CP

I always envision these studies as big massive questionnaires that the researchers then do regressions on to try to find some relationships. So they find a bunch of bad dads and a bunch of good dads, and they ask them all sorts of questions like,

"How large are your testicles?"
"Do you eat pizza slices from the crust in, or the point out?"
"How many horsepower does your car have?"
"Did you cry at the end of Titanic?"
"Would you rather score with a Czech woman or a Romanian woman?"
"Would you rather know how to play the saxophone or the violin?"
"How many credit cards do you carry?"

And then some grad students cranks the numbers and excitedly tells the professor, "Hey, I found a correlation with testicle size!"

Ban big balls!

Big balled men can't catch a break