ChiefsPlanet

ChiefsPlanet (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/index.php)
-   Nzoner's Game Room (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/forumdisplay.php?f=1)
-   -   Home and Auto F'ing Squirrels... (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=306042)

penguinz 02-17-2017 08:49 AM

F'ing Squirrels...
 
Changed oil in jeep last Friday. Did not drive it on Saturday. One Sunday went to drive it and was running like ass and check engine light flashing which is a sign of cylinder misfire.

Open hood and a ****ing squirrel had built a nest. Almost completely filled with leaves and sticks.

Bastard chewed through the electrical connector to one of the fuel injectors.

All squirrels need to die.

The end.

Rooster 02-17-2017 09:28 AM

Freaking tree rats.:#

Dartgod 02-17-2017 09:32 AM

I had to give up growing tomatoes because those bastards rob me blind.

http://photography.colinpurrington.c...21228565-3.jpg

bricks 02-17-2017 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by penguinz (Post 12745201)
Changed oil in jeep last Friday. Did not drive it on Saturday. One Sunday went to drive it and was running like ass and check engine light flashing which is a sign of cylinder misfire.

Open hood and a ****ing squirrel had built a nest. Almost completely filled with leaves and sticks.

Bastard chewed through the electrical connector to one of the fuel injectors.

All squirrels need to die.

The end.

Wow. That's ****ed up.

bricks 02-17-2017 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dartgod (Post 12745268)
I had to give up growing tomatoes because those bastards rob me blind.

http://photography.colinpurrington.c...21228565-3.jpg

Oh they're bastards. I agree.

I grew sunflower plants in my backyard, bastards ****in ate a majority of them seeds.

Buehler445 02-17-2017 09:43 AM

Antifreeze? :D

Seriously though, get yourself a hunting dog. They'll leave you alone.

bricks 02-17-2017 09:45 AM

I thought this was funny:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWCBfYagEo4

scho63 02-17-2017 09:53 AM

Speaking of squirrels, how the hell are there so many squirrels yet in my 54 years of life I have never seen two squirrels screwing each other? :hmmm:

They must be shy little sex machines! ROFL

FlaChief58 02-17-2017 12:00 PM

Where's Eddie? He usually eats those Damn things

SAUTO 02-17-2017 12:15 PM

I knew exactly what this thread was about before I ever opened it.

You got lucky it was just that

Rooster 02-17-2017 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flachief58 (Post 12745534)
Where's Eddie? He usually eats those Damn things

ROFL

Demonpenz 02-17-2017 12:29 PM

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/zlPQJ7qIyyQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Pepe Silvia 02-17-2017 12:32 PM

One of my friends ran one over while we were taking a drive about 15 years ago if it makes all you squirrel victims feel better. lol

Rain Man 02-17-2017 12:39 PM

A squirrel missed a branch outside my house a couple of years back and fell onto the concrete. He was unconscious and a house guest told me distraughtly. I wasn't sure what to do, so I made a little stretcher out of a paint roller pan and towel, and moved him from the front yard to the back yard, where at least he wouldn't be vulnerable to cats and dogs and bikes. I wasn't sure what I'd do if he didn't recover, but a couple of hours later than stretcher was empty and the squirrel was very friendly to me after that. I think it's always good to have allies.

Dartgod 02-17-2017 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man (Post 12745597)
A squirrel missed a branch outside my house a couple of years back and fell onto the concrete. He was unconscious and a house guest told me distraughtly. I wasn't sure what to do, so I made a little stretcher out of a paint roller pan and towel, and moved him from the front yard to the back yard, where at least he wouldn't be vulnerable to cats and dogs and bikes. I wasn't sure what I'd do if he didn't recover, but a couple of hours later than stretcher was empty and the squirrel was very friendly to me after that. I think it's always good to have allies.

I'll bet that if squirrels had been stealing your tomatoes, you would have laughed and fed him a bowl of antifreeze instead.

Buehler445 02-17-2017 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man (Post 12745597)
A squirrel missed a branch outside my house a couple of years back and fell onto the concrete. He was unconscious and a house guest told me distraughtly. I wasn't sure what to do, so I made a little stretcher out of a paint roller pan and towel, and moved him from the front yard to the back yard, where at least he wouldn't be vulnerable to cats and dogs and bikes. I wasn't sure what I'd do if he didn't recover, but a couple of hours later than stretcher was empty and the squirrel was very friendly to me after that. I think it's always good to have allies.

The correct answer is hit him in the head with a hammer and toss him (in a bag) in the garbage.

Buehler445 02-17-2017 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO (Post 12745553)
I knew exactly what this thread was about before I ever opened it.

You got lucky it was just that

Right. We have an old 62 Ford truck. Goddamned raccoon got up there and made a nest. He tore EVERY wire off that damn thing. Battery cables and all.

Like a squirrel on roids.

And don't ever let a packrat get going. **** those ****ers.

LiveSteam 02-17-2017 12:54 PM

Kill squirrels every chance you get. Kill them all.
22 cal pellet rifle works best.

Rooster 02-17-2017 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buehler445 (Post 12745617)
Right. We have an old 62 Ford truck. Goddamned raccoon got up there and made a nest. He tore EVERY wire off that damn thing. Battery cables and all.

Like a squirrel on roids.

And don't ever let a packrat get going. **** those ****ers.

The absolute worst. Those freaking things need to be removed from the planet.

Rain Man 02-17-2017 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dartgod (Post 12745603)
I'll bet that if squirrels had been stealing your tomatoes, you would have laughed and fed him a bowl of antifreeze instead.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buehler445 (Post 12745612)
The correct answer is hit him in the head with a hammer and toss him (in a bag) in the garbage.

Neither of those solutions would have given me a long-term tree ally.

Indian Chief 02-17-2017 01:52 PM

Rats with bushy tails. When I lived in an apartment, I had a balcony that I would hang Christmas lights on. Every year the ****ers would eat through the lights. I finally got a trap, caught one, and left it in there to thrash around pissing and shitting itself for days. After that, the other assholes got the message.

Bwana 02-17-2017 01:53 PM

Yeah I drop them when I see them because the little bastards eat a bunch of apples off my apple trees. One of my Dobermans hates them more than I do and always lets be know when one is running around in the trees. The dog literally a has different tone of bark when it spots a squirrel. I highly recommend these for the task, they make less noise than a pellet gun and drop them like a lead balloon.

http://assets.academy.com/mgen/63/10196363.jpg

penguinz 02-17-2017 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buehler445 (Post 12745292)
Antifreeze? :D

Seriously though, get yourself a hunting dog. They'll leave you alone.

We have a field lab. Back yard has zero squirrels or rabbits. Guess I will have to start parking in back yard.

stanleychief 02-17-2017 03:58 PM

How to reboot a squirrel:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa3lgb_5Aio

Hog's Gone Fishin 02-17-2017 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scho63 (Post 12745312)
Speaking of squirrels, how the hell are there so many squirrels yet in my 54 years of life I have never seen two squirrels screwing each other? :hmmm:

They must be shy little sex machines! ROFL

Maybe they go to somebodies house down the road that jerks them off and inseminates the females.:rolleyes:

scho63 02-17-2017 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hog Farmer (Post 12745966)
Maybe they go to somebodies house down the road that jerks them off and inseminates the females.:rolleyes:

They must have really tiny hands......:D

displacedinMN 02-17-2017 04:38 PM

I like squirrels. But they chewed the crap out of my plastic landscape lights at my old house.

New House-no squirrels. No trees. Too much construction.

There are a few threads about them.

cabletech94 02-17-2017 05:24 PM

i have customers that feed those little bastards from their backyards.
then they cant understand why their lines to the house are constantly being chewed on........

Chiefshrink 02-17-2017 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man (Post 12745597)
A squirrel missed a branch outside my house a couple of years back and fell onto the concrete. He was unconscious and a house guest told me distraughtly. I wasn't sure what to do, so I made a little stretcher out of a paint roller pan and towel, and moved him from the front yard to the back yard, where at least he wouldn't be vulnerable to cats and dogs and bikes. I wasn't sure what I'd do if he didn't recover, but a couple of hours later than stretcher was empty and the squirrel was very friendly to me after that. I think it's always good to have allies.

Are you also the president of PETA ?

Frazod 02-17-2017 06:54 PM

Hating on squirrels always reminds me of the father of one of my (least favorite) ex-GFs. He lived in a house in the woods in Wisconsin, and was a bird lover. Had a couple of feeders, and the squirrels would always eat all the bird seed, which made him progressively angrier and crazier. He'd sit outside with a pellet gun on weekends and shoot squirrels all day long - sometimes he'd get 20 or 30 of them in a day. And of course, being in the woods in Wisconsin, for every squirrel he killed, five more would take it's place.

I dumped his psychotic bitch daughter back in 1990 - I wonder if he's still at it? LMAO

ShiftyEyedWaterboy 02-17-2017 07:01 PM

Those things purposefully harass my dog. I've got two in my yard that run up the tree to the second floor window my golden likes to look out. They run along a branch right up to the window and chirp at him. Drives him (and me) insane.

Bwana 02-17-2017 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShiftyEyedWaterboy (Post 12746162)
Those things purposefully harass my dog. I've got two in my yard that run up the tree to the second floor window my golden likes to look out. They run along a branch right up to the window and chirp at him. Drives him (and me) insane.

Yeah I think that's why one of Dobermans hates them so much, they will run along the fence, chip and do the tail shake which pisses the dog off to know end. ROFL She has caught two of them and killed them off. I was sitting in here one day and I heard this squealing noise. I looked out and the dog has a squirrel by the tail and was giving it the Doberman death shake.

The dog figures out it doesn't have a kill zone grab, drops the thing, grabs it by the head and chomp/shake. That's one thing about Dobermans, they can cover a lot of ground.......fast.

Hog's Gone Fishin 02-17-2017 07:26 PM

Any of you guys eat squirrel . I've cooked them over campfire . Yummy. Of course EVERYTHING is yummy over a campfire after you've inhaled a gallon of bourbon.

Frazod 02-17-2017 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hog Farmer (Post 12746210)
Any of you guys eat squirrel . I've cooked them over campfire . Yummy. Of course EVERYTHING is yummy over a campfire after you've inhaled a gallon of bourbon.

I think a gallon of bourbon is about what it would take to get me to eat squirrel, and I'd probably die of alcohol poisoning first.

ShiftyEyedWaterboy 02-17-2017 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bwana (Post 12746199)
Yeah I think that's why one of Dobermans hates them so much, they will run along the fence, chip and do the tail shake which pisses the dog off to know end. ROFL She has caught two of them and killed them off. I was sitting in here one day and I heard this squealing noise. I looked out and the dog has a squirrel by the tail and was giving it the Doberman death shake.

The dog figures out it doesn't have a kill zone grab, drops the thing, grabs it by the head and chomp/shake. That's one thing about Dobermans, they can cover a lot of ground.......fast.

Mine's too old/slow to catch them these days. He'll "tree" one of them for hours, though. Keeps him occupied I guess.

When I want him to take a dump in the morning I just say "squirrel" and he goes flying out the door. LMAO

Hog's Gone Fishin 02-17-2017 07:37 PM

[QUOTE=Frazod;12746214]I think a gallon of bourbon is about what it would take to get me to eat squirrel, and I'd probably die of alcohol poisoning first.[/QE]

Yeah, really camping out and drinking heavily isn't always a good idea. When I lived in NC we had a small group of us that would camp out on the Lumbee River and when we were done fishing we'd always challenge each other to eat the remaining bait. Minnows , Liver, ****ing worms. One guy named larry always would step up. I'd do a minnow but the other shit I'd never fall for.

Bwana 02-17-2017 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hog Farmer (Post 12746210)
Any of you guys eat squirrel . I've cooked them over campfire . Yummy. Of course EVERYTHING is yummy over a campfire after you've inhaled a gallon of bourbon.

Once

Between my sophomore and Junior year of High School a buddy and I decided to go for about a 6 mile hike in the mountains into a lake to camp and fish. I was so coincident we would catch fish all I brought was shake and bake, a pan and some other spices. (And of Couse, beer) The first day, no fish, the second day by afternoon, no fish, We were starving by that time and I heard some squirrels. I said what the hell found one of them, pulled up my .22 pistol and my rear sight was missing. (A WTF moment) Thank God it was a 9 shooter. :D I hit him on the 7th shot and ended up killing another one. It may be because we were so hungry, and half tuned up but they tasted damn good with the aid of shake and bake.

Fortunately the next day the fish decided to bite, but that was a hell of a lesson at an early age.

Frazod 02-17-2017 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hog Farmer (Post 12746234)
Yeah, really camping out and drinking heavily isn't always a good idea. When I lived in NC we had a small group of us that would camp out on the Lumbee River and when we were done fishing we'd always challenge each other to eat the remaining bait. Minnows , Liver, ****ing worms. One guy named larry always would step up. I'd do a minnow but the other shit I'd never fall for.

Yeah, I think I'll stick to the fish. :Lin:

Buehler445 02-17-2017 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frazod (Post 12746149)
Hating on squirrels always reminds me of the father of one of my (least favorite) ex-GFs. He lived in a house in the woods in Wisconsin, and was a bird lover. Had a couple of feeders, and the squirrels would always eat all the bird seed, which made him progressively angrier and crazier. He'd sit outside with a pellet gun on weekends and shoot squirrels all day long - sometimes he'd get 20 or 30 of them in a day. And of course, being in the woods in Wisconsin, for every squirrel he killed, five more would take it's place.

I dumped his psychotic bitch daughter back in 1990 - I wonder if he's still at it? LMAO

Joke is on him. They make squirrel proof bird feeders.

http://www.rollerfeeder.com/images/roller_poster[1].jpg

http://cdnll.gardenersedge.com/images/500/BTSQPF_3.jpg


http://www.atticpestauthority.com/wp...ird-feeder.jpg

Frazod 02-17-2017 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buehler445 (Post 12746247)
Joke is on him. They make squirrel proof bird feeders.

I don't know if they made those 27 years ago. But if they did, he didn't have one. :D

Bwana 02-17-2017 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frazod (Post 12746214)
I think a gallon of bourbon is about what it would take to get me to eat squirrel, and I'd probably die of alcohol poisoning first.

You get your ass up here for an ATV ride and 10/1 I can get you to eat one with beer along. :D

Frazod 02-17-2017 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bwana (Post 12746253)
You get your ass up here for an ATV ride and 10/1 I can get you to eat one with beer along. :D

Not likely. I may get hungry, but I can live off body fat for a long time.... :)

Hog's Gone Fishin 02-17-2017 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bwana (Post 12746242)
Once

Between my sophomore and Junior year of High School a buddy and I decided to go for about a 6 mile hike in the mountains into a lake to camp and fish. I was so coincident we would catch fish all I brought was shake and bake, a pan and some other spices. (And of Couse, beer) The first day, no fish, the second day by afternoon, no fish, We were starving by that time and I heard some squirrels. I said what the hell found one of them, pulled up my .22 pistol and my rear sight was missing. (A WTF moment) Thank God it was a 9 shooter. :D I hit him on the 7th shot and ended up killing another one. It may be because we were so hungry, and half tuned up but they tasted damn good with the aid of shake and bake.

Fortunately the next day the fish decided to bite, but that was a hell of a lesson at an early age.


Heh, Sweet. You probably know this but ,ANYTHING cooked over a campfire is awesome if you do two things. 1) cook it slow and get lots of smoke in and #2) wrap that shit in bacon. Duck, Rabbit and squirrel as well as Dove don't really have a good taste on their own but do those two things and it's a winner.

displacedinMN 02-17-2017 08:19 PM

nothing is squirrel proof. Damn things will find a way no matter what.

SAUTO 02-17-2017 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hog Farmer (Post 12746210)
Any of you guys eat squirrel . I've cooked them over campfire . Yummy. Of course EVERYTHING is yummy over a campfire after you've inhaled a gallon of bourbon.

My grandma made squirrel and dumplings back in the day. I have a pic of me holding one up when I was about three that they shot and was getting ready to go in the pot

SAUTO 02-17-2017 08:31 PM

Some of my best childhood memories were squirrel hunting with my dad and grandpa.

Hog's Gone Fishin 02-17-2017 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO (Post 12746360)
Some of my best childhood memories were squirrel hunting with my dad and grandpa.

That's awesome ! Really ,I have some of those too but with my brother. Dad was a veternarian so never would get into hunting or killing any type of animals, only saving lives. But he never ever discouraged us from hunting. Dads 89 now.

Mike in SW-MO 02-17-2017 09:19 PM

6 minutes in a pressure cooker.
Then egg & flour then fry til crispy. Comes out fall off the bone tender.

First time I made squirrel & dumplings I fast boiled the squirrel. It was like dumplings with little erasers.

Rain Man 02-17-2017 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hog Farmer (Post 12746210)
Any of you guys eat squirrel . I've cooked them over campfire . Yummy. Of course EVERYTHING is yummy over a campfire after you've inhaled a gallon of bourbon.

I had squirrel as a kid. My dad and uncle and I went hunting a couple of times when we were at my grandmother's for Christmas. The first time, my grandmother cooked them up and they were part of Christmas dinner. The second time, my grandmother must not have wanted to cook them, because my dad threw them in the pigpen and the pigs ate them.

I really didn't fit in that world.

HonestChieffan 02-17-2017 11:12 PM

Get after coons and possums too. Gives you a 24 hour animal extermination experience. Dog proof traps with a marshmallow and half a sardine and you are golden to katch-n-kill a possum or coon by morning. Some nights you will sag a grinner before bed and reset. I run 5 right now and every one of the bastards I kill is one less to tear up my shit or eat wild turkey eggs.

Off season hobbies.


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:06 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.