GF of 3 years left me yesterday....
 

She's going for her PhD, it takes up a lot of her time & I felt a tad bit neglected. I know it's tough for her as it is but I told her how I felt. She told me in response that she loves me to death but doesn't feel the same about being in love with me anymore.....

I'm still young & I've left a long relationship (4 years) before but this was different. She was more than my gf but my best friend too.....I was planning on proposing to her later this year but that's clearly out the window.

I'm getting 50/50 opinions from people on if I should just let her be & move on or fight for the girl I love / my best friend. She was all torn up hysterically crying last night when the conversation was going on.....Don't know, felt like I needed to air it out to a different crowd than my friends. What y'all think?

first in with "Antifreeze" :p

Give it some time.
Ya know what they say "If you love it let it go,,if it comes back...."

Hard to judge things right at this point. Probably thinking a lot of things given it was just yesterday.

My wife & I when we were dating broke up for a short time that feel like it was over for good. Finally wising up, I settled down and made the changes that needed to be made as we were at the time long distance. Begged her to give me another chance. Best move I ever made.

Unfortunately, sometimes you don't realize what you have until it's gone.

Good luck.

cease contact initiation. If she texts you, don't write back for some hours. DONT apologise for the delay. If she calls, don't answer, and text back some hours later.

You have to be in demand, not supply.

This.
You both need some time away. You'll get back together if it's meant to be.l

re: above poster - things are fundamentally different when you're married.

Do not, i repeat DO NOT, beg her to let you back. Act like you're peachy without her and she'll be begging you to take her back before you know it.

Classic situation, Mr. Pushead2.

It's time for you to choose between your one true love and serial killing.

Seriously, it sounds like she feels pressured and backed away. Classic stuff. Here's what you do ... focus on yourself. Do all the right things you need to do ... for you. Do not cling ... this is very important ... clinging is bad. Real bad. Just focus on your life and what you can do to improve and take care of yourself. After awhile, things will work out. It won't take long. Girls fall in love with you for a reason ... give them a better reason.

FAX

Time to find someone new, i never bought into that i love you but i'm not in love with you. Sorry man but it's for the best you find another.

yeah I feel the working on myself part, I'm almost done with my college degree & I play in 3 hockey leagues including one that travels across the US & Canada on tournaments. So I am busy myself. I think the part that hurts the most for me is the best friend part. The routine of talking day & night, that gets to me. I'm on the road for a tournament in January, my alternate captain of my team is a single dude in his late 30s. So when I spoke to him last night he was saying that would be a good test for both y'all. Will she notice? Will she care you're away?

As many have already said, the only way you will be successful in this is to focus on yourself and prepare to move on. If you pursue her, it's over. If you try to move on, she'll likely pursue you and you have successfully 'fought' for her.

I always think of relationships as having tension ... kind of like two people being connected by a rubber band like Kate Bush talks about.

When there's no tension, there's no fun ... or excitement. Thing is, if you want the girl to snap back closer to you, you have to lean back and create more tension. When you lean back enough, eventually she comes flying forward. Funny how that works.

FAX

This means the Chiefs will win this weekend.

another thing is she has NO family here in NYC & very little friends....She's from Oklahoma but came here to go to NYU.

So the fact that she's willing to accept being VERY lonely is making me think it's over but at the same time thinking once she sees how lonely she will be she'll think twice.

Definitely, without a doubt 100% I will be focusing on myself. I'm not to wallow in self pity. I will move on & take care of things for myself.

I'll buy that for a $1

I like that analogy, I hope that is the case. She's everything a guy could want in a female by my means.

chicks think about this shit differently - I wouldn't worry too much about that.

Like I (and everyone else) has said, create a perception that you're doing real well without her, and she'll want to come aboard again.

It's VERY difficult to do, but it's the way to do it.

I have to give her some stuff back she left at my place so I will see her this afternoon. I won't be begging to get back with her, but there are things I didn't say last night that I want to get off my chest.

All this talk about "her" is bad. Real bad.

Ask yourself this; if she were run over by a train and the doctors saved her life but put her together so she looks like a cross between a kangaroo and Ralph Waldo Emerson, would you care as much? I don't think so.

Imagine that she has been struck by a train. Mourn. Then focus on yourself.

FAX

It's definitely the case. But you need to start now to process her out of your habitual thinking. Lean back.

FAX

yeah it is, I kindheartedly agree. Once my travel team in late February starts playing in country wide tournaments again. It will be a lot easier.

Right now, 1 step/day at a time.

So, they should headbutt each other?

You're right, I had my time overnight to get it out. Now it's on to me.

"she loves me to death but doesn't feel the same about being in love with me anymore....." means she wants to find a dude in grad school that has a similar career path.

This happened to me in college. I was dating this chick who was going to med school. All of a sudden little ole Hoover wasn't good enough for her. I was comfortable for her, but she couldn't see herself with some political hack.

She dropped out of med school, married a doctor, and seems pretty miserable now if you ask me. The political hack married a lawyer, created a successful fundraising business, and is now a publisher. Life is good, I can't imagine life with her.

Everything happens for a reason.

You're probably screwed. Don't call. Don't beg. Don't grovel. If she pulls that "I still want to be friends" crap, tell her to go get a dog. The last thing you want to do is end up being an emotional tampon for an ex who's ****ing another guy and wondering why he can't be more like you.

She's already broke your heart - don't let her take your pride and dignity as well. There are worse things than being alone.

Good luck.

to be honest, your sporting commitments are a godsend as they'll keep you busy.

Never will happen & couldn't agree more, there are worse things.

Then again ... maybe you should send her texts of your penis ...

FAX

oh yeah, I love playing hockey. If I had to choose between dating her & my hockey leagues. I'd tell her to go fly a kite.

I guess the same was for her school over me. Time to go on with my business.

I'll reserve those for the next female I want to sue me.

don't listen to people who say "everything happens for a reason" as its a tired meaningless cliche that suggests that events occur for reasons beyond your control.

That's generally bullshit, generally relationships (and start, or start again) end over behaviour that you CAN CONTROL.

Perhaps ... some day ... you won't have to make that choice, Mr. Pushead2.

There's a time for puckin' and there's a time for ****in'.

FAX

she's the one who made the choice for studyin' over ****in.

Always down for puckin' & ****in' :thumb:

Its not very difficult.

Reach down grab your sack and move on.


Easy. All win.

People say that to me & I shrug that off, I think people say that because they have no other advice to give.

Manly advice....I dig it

so you don't consider me your friend pushead?

your avatar creeps me out but the girl sneezing catches me everytime. It's a toss up.

"Everything happens for a reason" is right up there with "If you love something, set it free" and "violence never solves anything."

People who say these stupid things should be beaten until they stop talking. :$2500:

Well if begging her to come back doesn't work, and ignoring her doesn't work... there is always rohypnol!

If you love someone , let them go.
If they don't come back,..............................














Hunt them down, And Kill them !!! :evil:

I'll hug you until you feel better

Definitely will not be begging her to come back.....

I hope you slide under a gas truck and taste your own ****ing blood!/ExRev

This prevents the hugging from taking place, still a toss up.

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/custo...tar12011_1.gif

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WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE A DEMON FROM HELL?????? LMAO

will never be friends after that.....

thank you all for the advice......I appreciate it

Violence never solves anything.

:$2500:

Go **** her sister.

That'll show her.

Or you could go **** your sister.

That'll show her even more!

her sister is underage & I don't have a sister.

Of course, as I'm sure you realize, this advice does NOT pertain to her brother.

Just wanted to be clear about that.

Good luck. Hope it all works out for the best.

But do you really want to be with her just so she won't be "lonely?"

It's a tough deal, but the "not in love" thing is typically the death knell.


Sent from my Rotary phone using Tapatalk

no no, I meant it as in she must really not be in love with me to deal with that loneliness

Usually they are.....& I acknowledge it

I missed the "she's from Oklahoma" part.

Shitcan her immediately. That is all.

I wish I knew then what I know now. Repeat this to yourself over and over:

There is NOT ONE woman that you should worry about until you are married and have children with them. Until that time, relax, have fun, don't give them the satisfaction of ****ing you around, and most importantly, MOVE ON!

God bless ya, son. But seriously, this ain't nothing but a thing, a thing that is just a momentary blip in your life. Like I said, move on, and do it quickly. Good luck!

you are the second person to tell me that on a serious note, not sure if you are but he was dead ass.

Are you from Arkansas?

ROFL

As others have said, move on. If you get back together then it'll happen without you calling/begging/pushing. You can't be needy. Just take time and focus on you.




Oh, and obligatory.. 'pics or it didn't happen.'

Yeah, pretty much. To hell with Oklahoma and anything that crawls out of it.

what in the.......

I think he wants pics of your junk.

ROFL

if the ex-gf qualifies as 'junk'.. otherwise, no thanks

Should've proposed sooner. That's probably why she left you. Hang in there man.

Don't feel to bad, she will probably go out and bang a couple of guys thinking of you the whole time and then realize you were the man for her and come running to your arms....


P.S. Who paid for her schooling?

Would you want someone to stay with you because they were afraid to be alone? Didn't think so.

It sounds like she's under pressure and based on what she has said is changing.

I'm not retyping everything again. Just say "be free little bird". Don't call, don't write...don't be on demand as soon as she texts or calls.

I spent...no....Wasted time worrying about "the best friend" I lost. If the rutt had actually been my best friend, she wouldn't have run off and done what she did.

You were looking for a piece of ass when you found her....I'm sure hockey has some version of the buckle bunny in rodeo. Go buck out a piece of rebound pussy and move on.

If it's meant to be, it will eventually be. Don't waste your time on anger and whining and don't let her drag you into her self imposed pity party. When you talk.....You're Always fine.

Who am I?
"I AM A CHAMPION"

She works for it because it's a PhD program, but when she went to NYU I helped her sometimes with payments & books.

I'm in agreement with MO, here.

The most reassuring thing for you should be the confidence that you're going to be just fine. I'm speculating that she was your "best friend" because you were spending a ton of time with her, naturally, more so than you were spending with your other friends. This will change.

You'll find someone new presently, and if she moves on more quickly than you, have a cold one and try not to get too surprised. Easier said than done, of course.

Win win! #shyguyms

move on, life's too short for drama

don't take her back ever

It's always another dude.

LMAO at the "ignore everything you read here" post, backed up by six more numbered paragraphs.

Why were you planning on proposing to her later this year? Were you seriously going to do it and if so, why where you waiting?

We were planning a trip together & I was going to do it while on our trip. Also I would be finished with my degree. There were a few reasons for it but that were the main ones.

the new ink to hardcore for her?