You really hate Florida don't you?

Today's Fun Florida News:

Homeless Dude Drives Drunk INSIDE Wal-Mart!


http://tinyurl.com/a2pm69y

Timothy Carr has been charged with disorderly intoxication and retail theft.
Always low prices. Always Florida.

Florida man Timothy Carr was arrested after allegedly driving drunk inside a Walmart. Police say Carr, a transient, was spotted around 9 p.m. Sunday drunk and behind the wheel of a motorized shopping cart, WFLA reports.

While driving the cart, Carr was allegedly drinking an alcoholic beverage he had taken off the shelf inside the store. He was knocking items off of shelves as he drove, according to police.

Carr allegedly told police he was a transient, and that he did not have money to pay for the alcohol. He was arrested on charges of disorderly intoxication and retail theft, according to WFLX. Because he has been arrested twice before for retail theft, this arrest was a felony.

Carr is by no means the first to be accused of driving drunk in a vehicle that's far from street-legal. In May, Joe Bruss pleaded guilty to driving a Zamboni drunk while cleaning the ice for pee-wee hockey players in Minnesota.

And in 2009, Kile Wygle was charged with drunk driving after allegedly crashing a motorized bar stool powered by a deconstructed lawn mower.

Dear Abby Discusses Florida Family Values:

http://news.yahoo.com/sister-open-ma...050021131.html

DEAR ABBY: My daughters are attractive young women, both doing well in their professional careers. "Melanie," who is 27, is married to "Sam," an extremely attractive and successful man.

My 30-year-old daughter, "Alicia," has been divorced for a year. Her marriage failed two years ago because she and her husband had an appetite for sex outside their marriage. While I was disturbed about that, I was horrified to learn that Melanie allows her sister to occasionally have sex with Sam.

Melanie's argument is that Sam is less likely to cheat given this situation. When I asked her and Sam about it, he said it wasn't his idea. My current husband says any man who would refuse this "set-up" would be nuts. Alicia claims she "doesn't have time" to date right now, and after she finishes her MBA, she'll seek out a more normal relationship.

I am distraught about this mess. Melanie says she wants to start a family soon. She says she loves Sam, who can "handle everything," and she enjoys seeing "everyone happy." She says Alicia won't sleep around now and, maybe, one day she'll marry a handsome man like Sam who will "return the favor"!

I can't believe these girls are my daughters. Should I continue to protest or let it go? Is this relaxed attitude about sex prevalent in young people today? I cannot understand Melanie's lack of desire to defend her turf. --

HEARTBROKEN MOM IN FLORIDA

DEAR MOM: Your daughters appear to be into the concept of open marriage. Clearly, they do not view marriage and relationships the same way you do.
Melanie is naive to think that encouraging Sam to have a sexual relationship with her sister will discourage him from seeking other partners. Far from it. And as for her wanting to start a family, has she considered what will happen if her husband impregnates Alicia at the same time -- or first?

But back to your question: Are you right to protest? You certainly are. That's what mothers are for -- to inject a dose of sanity when everyone around her is losing theirs.

I literally just read this story 2 minutes ago on Yahoo news and was going to post it here for you! ROFL

That's one lucky dude if these girls are really as hot as Mom says but I have my doubts......

To be fair, it's their mother that's calling them "attractive."

Dang it, u beat me.

...and I'm moving to this state in T-minus two weeks. Welp. At least the scenery is nice.

These are the weakest ones you've come up with yet. You've officially lost your burst. Pathetic.

I am very confident that Florida will pick up their burst very soon. They don't go very long without a brain bending news story.

I'll take all the weird news, you people up north can have the snow and cold.

It's sunny and 66 in the middle of February. :)

Cat Piss and Cock Roaches!

Two parents in Beverly Hills, Fla., have been charged with child abuse for allegedly raising their 9-year-old son in a filthy home and denying him sufficient food and medicine.

A school nurse found a cockroach in the child's ear in September and, on another occasion, other school officials saw roaches crawling out of his backpack, Citrus Daily reported.

Citrus County sheriff's deputies arrested Christina Forbes, 33, and Robert Forbes, 32, on Thursday.

Police said the child reeked of cat urine, and wore the same pull-ups to school on multiple occasions. They allege that the accused couple didn't allow him to get medication he needed, according to WLTX-TV.

The child's teachers told authorities they routinely gave him food and helped clean him, ABCActionNews.com reported.

The parents are each in jail on $5,000 bail and their son has been placed in alternative care, according to WTSP.com.

Drunk naked Ten Year Olds!

Spring Hill, Florida -- A Spring Hill mother was arrested and faces child neglect charges after deputies say her 10 year old son was found walking in the street, naked and drunk.

A couple out walking their dog stumbled across 31-year-old Nedra Byrd's son Thursday at 7:30 p.m. They took the boy to Amanda Roesch's home. She and her husband know the little boy because he's been over at their home many times before.

Amanda says, "They brought him here. We have kids that go to school with him."

The Hernando County Sheriff's office was called and detectives say when they arrived at the boy's home his mother didn't open the door. A man named James Shannon opened up and said he thought the child was in his room. Byrd they say was passed out on the couch and appeared drunk.

When she came to they say she too said she thought her son was in his room. When asked if she'd been drinking she reportedly said "Yeah. I'm drunk as hell."

Amanda adds, "This little boy he said all I want for my mommy is to go to rehab and to get anger management because mommy drinks to feel better cause she's mad. He's ten. Really? He had to to take care of mom how do you not know your child is naked drunk and missing?"

Detectives talked to the 10 year old who they say confirmed that his mother had been drinking Christian Brother's Brandy for most of the day. But the bombshell he told detectives was that his mother gave him four shots of the hard liquor. Roesch says, "He was so intoxicated he didn't realize that he didn't have any clothes on."

When asked, detectives say the child admitted he had drunk alcohol before.

The Department of Children and Families took the boy into custody, and later did bloodwork that showed the his blood alcohol content was .108.

Deputies found a half-empty bottle of Christian Brothers Brandy with a shot glass sitting on Byrd's kitchen counter.

Byrd was arrested on one count of child neglect, and placed on $1,000 bond. Friday around 5 p.m. she bonded out of jail.

If you're not following this Twitter you need to be....

https://twitter.com/_FloridaMan

I don't even know why this was even posted. It's not strange or unusual.

I lived in Topeka from '78-81. I had a few friends whose parents NEVER cleaned their house. Saw the same shit in Missouri.

If we're going to post weird Florida news, it should be worth reading.

This is weak.

Indeed. But yall keep feeding him positive feedback. It'll never stop.

Awww, nuts!

Ronald Howard Jr. of Bradenton, Fla. was sitting on the couch scratching his testicles Monday, the Sun Sentinel reported, when his live-in girlfriend, Shalamar Petrarca, told him to cut it out.

According to an arrest report obtained by The Smoking Gun, Petrarca, 25, told him that the scratching was rude and disgusting, and she was about to eat dinner.

In Petrarca's version of events, the 30-year-old Howard Jr. then "got in her face" and told her to stop judging him, the report states. He then allegedly pushed her into a corner -- where she fell and scraped her ankle -- then he threw her out of the home.

Deputies say that Howard's account is different, and that he said Petrarca punched him in the eye for "scratching his balls", and that he threw her out because he didn't want the situation to escalate.

The report states, however, that Howard appeared uninjured, while Petrarca had a scratch that matched her description of what happened. Ronald was arrested and charged with misdemeanor battery.