I just walked in on a coworker...
 

whacking off to Internet porn AT MY DESK!

I walk into the office at 10:15 p.m., only 5 hours after we close. I'm picking up some more stuff for my day tomorrow and clocking out... I walk back to my desk, the door's closed and I think, "Hmm... the door's closed. That's weird." I open it up and there's my coworker, who frantically turns the monitor off (I didn't see what kind of porn it was) and begins zipping his fly. I didn't actually notice him zipping up till I said, "Hey, what are you still doing here?" That's when I saw him buttoning/zipping the pants...

Then he proceeds to say, "Nothing, what are you doing here?" I answer, "Just clocking out." By this time, I'm back in the hallway, so he knows I'm not standing there just looking at him. Then he asks again... I answer again. He asks again... like fucking Rainman (not you, Rainman... Dustin Hoffman's Rainman, which isn't actually Dustin Hoffman, but you know what I mean...). Then he skiddadles out of the office without saying anything (which I don't blame him for).

Now, I had been noticing over the last few months porn sites on my computer's history... I wasn't worried about being caught or anything, I'm the tech guy and I know it wasn't me. That's what I have a home computer for. I hope this little scare will convince him that he probably shouldn't do that at work anymore... but, damn... now I gotta get a new keyboard and I just got this one. Sick fucker.

I'd make him pay. Really. I wouldn't blackmail him or anything, but he should be responsible for damages. I'd get about $10k to walk in on some dude masturbating - so if any of you pervs are looking for that kind of thing feel free to email me.

You might want to get a new chair and monitor, too....

I work next to the dude every damn day. Like right next to... two feet away from...

This was at your newspaper office?

Suonds rude of you not to let him finish. You should feel like an asshole. Sen the guy a card of apology or something.

I'm not saying... I have three jobs so I'll just leave it at "one of my offices." Or even more vague, "one of my desks," since at my three jobs I have a total of four desks.

You may want to sanitize your keyboard and mouse now.

Wait, he doesn't have his own computer? Or was he afraid of getting caught? What a fucking douche nozzle.

And it sounds like he was just cocking out.

Doesn't have his own computer...

I see. Well I have a little story to share.

At my first newspaper job I had the place all alone to myself one night (I had a night class and being the editor, a key to the office :D). I decided to let off a little steam before class.

:shake:

%(/

Haha! The difference was I was sure no one was going to walk in on me.