Big Balls = Bad Dad!
New Band Name: Ward Cleaver's Tiny Ball Sack!
http://tinyurl.com/ouglzfs Men with larger testicles tend to be less involved fathers than those with smaller testes, a new study suggests. The findings, detailed today (Sept. 9) in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, are correlational, so they can't say exactly why the trend exists but only that there is a link. But men who produce more sperm have bigger testes, and sperm production is extremely energy intensive for the body, so it may be that fathers "face a trade-off between investing energy in parenting and investing energy in mating effort," said study co-author James Rilling, an anthropologist at Emory University in Atlanta. Scores of studies have shown that children with involved and caring fathers tend to do better emotionally, socially and educationally. So Rilling and his colleagues were interested in understanding what makes some men stellar dads and others AWOL. |
Who is funding this shit? Please tell me it isn't the taxpayer.
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Uh-oh...
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how the hell do you measure your nuts?
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Maybe teabag one of those scales used for postage? |
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Reason 897 I don't have kids.
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Well I'm upper upper class high society
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My kids don't need me anyway /CP
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I always envision these studies as big massive questionnaires that the researchers then do regressions on to try to find some relationships. So they find a bunch of bad dads and a bunch of good dads, and they ask them all sorts of questions like,
"How large are your testicles?" "Do you eat pizza slices from the crust in, or the point out?" "How many horsepower does your car have?" "Did you cry at the end of Titanic?" "Would you rather score with a Czech woman or a Romanian woman?" "Would you rather know how to play the saxophone or the violin?" "How many credit cards do you carry?" And then some grad students cranks the numbers and excitedly tells the professor, "Hey, I found a correlation with testicle size!" |
Ban big balls!
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Big balled men can't catch a break
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I've got big balls
I've got big balls They're such big balls And they're fancy big balls And he's got big balls* And she's got big balls* But we've got the biggest balls of them all* |
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Geez, that dude with the 150lb scrotum must be a horrible father. Like Evander Holyfield-level bad.
Let's name people who probably have large nuts-- Mackenzie Phillips' dad |
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are we talking weight or size? I wonder if the next study will have anything to do with a correlation between a wifes ability to take said balls into her mouth all at once, and her ability as a mother.
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I have about 3 or 4 kids spread out across the states and we rarely talk. This study makes perfect sense.
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This thread is why I love Chiefs planet.
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Post op? ewwww.
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I remember when American scientists sent men to the moon before any other country could do it.
Now they walk around fondling balls and make up stories about what they think the size of them mean. Thanks, liberal metrosexuality! |
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those guys who do porn that have no visible testicles must be wonderful fathers.
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When I sit on the toilet my balls touch the water. Is that bad?
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What if a deadbeat dad shoots off one of his big balls?
Does that double his father-powers? |
Has Lisa Lampinelli entered menopause yet?
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"Why don't you have any kids?"
"Because I'm about half nuts" |
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