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-   -   Science Big Balls = Bad Dad! (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=276076)

gblowfish 09-10-2013 11:21 AM

Big Balls = Bad Dad!
 
New Band Name: Ward Cleaver's Tiny Ball Sack!

http://tinyurl.com/ouglzfs

Men with larger testicles tend to be less involved fathers than those with smaller testes, a new study suggests.

The findings, detailed today (Sept. 9) in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, are correlational, so they can't say exactly why the trend exists but only that there is a link.

But men who produce more sperm have bigger testes, and sperm production is extremely energy intensive for the body, so it may be that fathers "face a trade-off between investing energy in parenting and investing energy in mating effort," said study co-author James Rilling, an anthropologist at Emory University in Atlanta.

Scores of studies have shown that children with involved and caring fathers tend to do better emotionally, socially and educationally.

So Rilling and his colleagues were interested in understanding what makes some men stellar dads and others AWOL.

Beef Supreme 09-10-2013 11:26 AM

Who is funding this shit? Please tell me it isn't the taxpayer.

Gadzooks 09-10-2013 11:27 AM

Uh-oh...

cosmo20002 09-10-2013 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigChiefTablet (Post 9960008)
Who is funding this shit? Please tell me it isn't the taxpayer.

Guys With Small Nuts Association

seclark 09-10-2013 11:30 AM

how the hell do you measure your nuts?
sec

DaneMcCloud 09-10-2013 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seclark (Post 9960018)
how the hell do you measure your nuts?
sec

By the imprints left on a chick's ass.

seclark 09-10-2013 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaneMcCloud (Post 9960021)
By the imprints left on a chick's ass.

so, the wrinkles are my friends...
sec

cosmo20002 09-10-2013 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seclark (Post 9960018)
how the hell do you measure your nuts?
sec

very carefully

Maybe teabag one of those scales used for postage?

taterhog 09-10-2013 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seclark (Post 9960026)
so, the wrinkles are my friends...
sec

Hopefully not the wrinkles on her ass

KCUnited 09-10-2013 11:42 AM

Reason 897 I don't have kids.

allen_kcCard 09-10-2013 11:44 AM

Well I'm upper upper class high society

Nightfyre 09-10-2013 11:45 AM

My kids don't need me anyway /CP

Rain Man 09-10-2013 11:48 AM

I always envision these studies as big massive questionnaires that the researchers then do regressions on to try to find some relationships. So they find a bunch of bad dads and a bunch of good dads, and they ask them all sorts of questions like,

"How large are your testicles?"
"Do you eat pizza slices from the crust in, or the point out?"
"How many horsepower does your car have?"
"Did you cry at the end of Titanic?"
"Would you rather score with a Czech woman or a Romanian woman?"
"Would you rather know how to play the saxophone or the violin?"
"How many credit cards do you carry?"

And then some grad students cranks the numbers and excitedly tells the professor, "Hey, I found a correlation with testicle size!"

Scorp 09-10-2013 11:51 AM

Ban big balls!

BlackHelicopters 09-10-2013 11:54 AM

Big balled men can't catch a break

cosmo20002 09-10-2013 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by allen_kcCard (Post 9960050)
Well I'm upper upper class high society

I bet you have the biggest balls of them all :rockon:

Scorp 09-10-2013 11:59 AM

I've got big balls
I've got big balls
They're such big balls
And they're fancy big balls
And he's got big balls*
And she's got big balls*
But we've got the biggest balls of them all*

Beef Supreme 09-10-2013 12:00 PM

http://cdn.thedailybeast.com/content...175.cached.jpg

This guy must be the worst father ever!

cosmo20002 09-10-2013 12:02 PM

Geez, that dude with the 150lb scrotum must be a horrible father. Like Evander Holyfield-level bad.

Let's name people who probably have large nuts--

Mackenzie Phillips' dad

cosmo20002 09-10-2013 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigChiefTablet (Post 9960078)

This guy must be the worst father ever!

Beat me by -that- much.

Fish 09-10-2013 12:25 PM

Don't care, LOL..

http://img30.imageshack.us/img30/7052/633b.jpg

tooge 09-10-2013 12:47 PM

are we talking weight or size? I wonder if the next study will have anything to do with a correlation between a wifes ability to take said balls into her mouth all at once, and her ability as a mother.

Eureka 09-10-2013 01:55 PM

I have about 3 or 4 kids spread out across the states and we rarely talk. This study makes perfect sense.

Pepe Silvia 09-10-2013 01:59 PM

This thread is why I love Chiefs planet.

Fat Elvis 09-10-2013 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KCUnited (Post 9960045)
Reason 897 I don't have kids.

Reason #1 is that women won't have sex with you.

cosmo20002 09-10-2013 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fat Elvis (Post 9960367)
Reason #1 is that women won't have sex with you.

Zing! LMAO

KCUnited 09-10-2013 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fat Elvis (Post 9960367)
Reason #1 is that women won't have sex with you.

Doing your wife post op counts right?

tooge 09-10-2013 02:18 PM

Post op? ewwww.

mikey23545 09-10-2013 02:39 PM

I remember when American scientists sent men to the moon before any other country could do it.

Now they walk around fondling balls and make up stories about what they think the size of them mean.

Thanks, liberal metrosexuality!

BlackHelicopters 09-10-2013 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fat Elvis (Post 9960367)
Reason #1 is that women won't have sex with you.

Hey ohhhh

OrtonsPiercedTaint 09-10-2013 03:06 PM

those guys who do porn that have no visible testicles must be wonderful fathers.

vailpass 09-10-2013 03:12 PM

When I sit on the toilet my balls touch the water. Is that bad?

seclark 09-10-2013 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vailpass (Post 9960565)
When I sit on the toilet my balls touch the water. Is that bad?

depends on if they float or sink.
sec

vailpass 09-10-2013 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seclark (Post 9960570)
depends on if they float or sink.
sec

:D

CrazyPhuD 09-10-2013 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaneMcCloud (Post 9960021)
By the imprints left on a chick's neck.

fyp:evil:

notorious 09-10-2013 09:44 PM

What if a deadbeat dad shoots off one of his big balls?


Does that double his father-powers?

Baby Lee 09-10-2013 09:52 PM

Has Lisa Lampinelli entered menopause yet?

BigOlChiefsfan 09-11-2013 12:27 PM

"Why don't you have any kids?"

"Because I'm about half nuts"


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