Old People Thread
 

Hello old people of CP! Do you ever think about wanting to talk about problems you and other old people have? Is this football forum the only place on the internet you know how to get to? Well look no further! This old man thread is here for you to talk about your trials and tribulations.

Have an itch to complain about how the young generation doesn't know what hard work is? Post it in here! Are there some birds that need yelled or do you have neighbors that play music too loud? We'd love to hear about it! Did you fill your diapers and want to complain about the poor quality of Chinese products? Please regale us!

So if you can barely see letters in this thread without zooming in, but refuse to give up your drivers license, we'd love to read what you have to tell us! Come on in, bring your Werther's candy, and folksy tales of how things used to be!

Subscribed to thread.

I felt compelled to click on this thread.

https://media.tenor.com/UDUxzsQ_zvkA...t-eastwood.gif

Ban Old People.

That makes everyone else here a dinosaur.

Shoutout to Mike Matheny for all the pointless mileage he put on the arms of Staumont, Brentz and Barlow.

Stuff hurts for no reason.

Shut up youngin

How old are old people? How old is middle aged? When does young adult and later adulthood start?

I have stuff for that.

:thumb:

Will it help me forget that I keep forgetting stuff?

No.
Not at all.
But you won't care anymore :D

Depends on if you got a job at 13 or waited until 23.

Oh there's a reason but I'm too blind to see it, too deaf to hear it, and my body doesn't bend enough for me to find it. :skip:

I had to download a magnifying glass app to read fine print. And buy a set of cheaters to keep in every vehicle. That's the worst part of getting old so far for me. But I'm sure this thread will bring up issues to annoy me that I haven't noticed yet.

The worst thing about getting old is if you see each other naked the last thing on your mind is sex.

I mowed my yard today. I felt fine when I started, felt fine while I was mowing but 30 minutes after I finished my side suddenly starting hurting like the devil. :cuss: (Also we cuss a lot. I guess our filters are worn out by now).

... what's the first thing?

Cottage cheese

Kevorkian was right

I hate loud noises at night and especially the 4th of July where the fireworks keep me awake.

But that's delicious.
With pepper and shaped like a speedo?

Damn turn the lights off

An unexpected downside of aging is that I've effectively seen every movie that can ever be made. There are a finite number of plots and I've seen them all.

An unexpected upside of aging is that teenagers ignore me.

I raked a dozen bags of leaves from my mother's house last weekend followed by a long walk with the family, and somehow ended up with a severely inflamed bunion. I feel like an incredible pussy even complaining about it, but the pain over the last few days has been downright unbearable. Do not recommend.

London, Dangerous Beauty, Domino.

I turn 40 this week.

I'm here for this.

Uh oh.

The bat signal is out for srvy.

Prepare for thy reckoning about how much better it used to be.

39. Facial hair's starting to go gray. That shit sucks.

I always see comments implying that this forum is full of old balls. What's the average age here?

I’ve learned a lot of interesting things over the years but damned if I can remember any of them

I had a baby around that age and they called me geriatric. So that hospital doesnt exist anymore.

That was also back when srvy wasn't an edentulous ****!

They were old when i was young.
I was old when clay was young.

I bet 54.

Why are so many younger people out in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday? Don't they have jobs?

Alieve (Naproxen). Double the dose on the bottle for a couple days. That's what a podiatrist told me to do and it worked.

I'm starting to feel like I've seen about every movie that matters. Still gotta cross Lawrence of Arabia off the list though.

My mom was over 40 when I was born. Explains a lot. How'd yours turn out?

I get my first SS check this month, what a bitch that is

Hopefully Stewie can get some help with his cataracts in here

I'm thread banning every one of you ****ers that are under 50.

She's wonderful and since my other kids won't see my CP posts until I'm dead i can say she's been the most fun as a kid.

She has silver blue eyes and has had to interact with strangers wanting to talk to her about them, her entire life. So she's very articulate, very sweet, and very much a product of my whole household.

Not just 20 yr old Mer.

Never pass up a bathroom
Never waste a boner
Never trust a fart

Signed.

ROFL

You make me smile.

Remember there is no shame in starting to take naps. Or the cat jumping in your lap to take one with you.

It's basically the same movie as Patton. Or maybe Glory.

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I bet they have the same plots as Midnight in Paris, American Beauty, and Mystic Pizza.

There's a lot of you old folk that are up WAY past your bed time. Sip your Metamucil and head to bed.

Oh you're good.

Let's do Mary Poppins, Flowers in the Attic, and The Blob.

One of the most memorable family trips of my youth was a journey to Mystic, CT for a slice of pizza. It tasted just like…pizza. And that’s when I realized Hollywood and my parents were both frauds.

Lucky number Slevin!
I'll get you if I have to unplug your hover round.

I can make extremely loud duck calls by using my butt cheeks enhancing the fart/duck call but I cannot do it with a boner. In my older age I have to choose it no longer can be done at the same time

I’m dealing with getting a kidney stone removed. Never had one, good for you. I don’t know if kidney stones is an old man thing but it sure makes you feel like one.

You should see a significant increase of white ball hairs soon

Bold of you to assume he doesn't shave those so they stick to his knee when it gets hot out.

At first I just carried a sharpie everywhere and colored them in before I realized mowing them down was more efficient

There's Something About Mary, The Diary of Anne Frank, and The Nutty Professor.

☠️😂

Have you seen my baseball?

I'm not old -- just wanted to stop by and pay my respects to the rest of you.

We could eat you alive instead we will leave you with crushing debt and an amoral society.

Pro tip: Mars is nothing like Total Recall presents it.

literally lol'd. Thought about adding that to the original post at the time but figured someone would bust it out in the thread lmao

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Get off my lawn :cuss:

Never saw Mystic Pizza. Am I missing out?

If you've seen Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, you're already covered.

After 40 the years count double it seems.

Nothing like waking up and randomly your knee decides to be a total asshole all day.

On the plus side your libido goes down!

I can’t find my glasses without my glasses.

My knees are already garbage.

Went to the doctor 18 months ago and blah blah blah a bunch of shit later "you don't have any cartilage on the back of your kneecaps."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"****."

Okay, good.

One of my dad's faves. It was a staple for a few years. ROFL

Surprised that they have not figured out a grease zerk installation temporary solution to this joint problem

We’ll, my husband could call a herd of cows 20 years ago; did that make him old then, or is he old now?

Pretty sure I can still whip a few in a dog fight!

It's fitting this thread originated in Omaha.

So did this old man. :thumb: