I am RealSNR. Ask me most things
 

And for the other things, I reserve the right to either not answer or brush them off with bullshit.

Gay.

Are you?
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Gayness is a spectrum. My gayness can be measured in gallons of jizz per Mahomes TD.

I can't give you a number yet, but I predict it's around 3.

Which Mega Man game is your favorite?

Only played a few of the Mega Man games. Mega Man III was my first one, so I'd probably go with that one.

I suck at video games, and when you're a kid, Mega Man seems like the hardest shit ever.

Plus, wasn't 3 the one where Rush Coil got introduced for the first time?

Are you secretly writing a symphony that you never expect to hear performed, but with a secret hope that when you retire all of your alumni students will come together and give you a surprise performance that touches your heart and provides confirmation of all of the lives that you've touched, like Richard Dreyfuss in the movie Mr. Holland's Opus?

What was your childhood like?

Where did you grow up?

What was a typical activity when your class had recess?

Did you learn to ride a bike or swim first?

Will you roast the hell out of the Dumbest mofo on the Planet?

How much do all the "Talent Shows" piss you off?

I have no musical talent. Like at all. If it were quantifiable, it would probably be negative. But I went to a small college with a relatively unremarkable music program, but I had a lot of friends in there, and most of them were way more talented than any fools on these "reality" shows and it kind of grinds my gears.

I'm interested in your perspective.

Why do you work for the state?

Minus me (of course) who are you top 3 favorite posters that quickly come to mind?

Should we have a chiefsplanet hall of fame?

I suck at composition. I'm much more into arranging. I also don't have the patience to wait that long for my students to discover my secret arrangements I might choose to make, much less wait for them to gather the intelligence and money required to hire musicians to play my music in a concert.

Can you tell me the difference between composing and arranging?

I was just about to ask that exact same question.

Born in Brookings, SD; raised in Grand Forks, ND. Dad was a urologist, mom stayed at home. I had a pretty damn cool childhood (apart from all the insufferable Chiefs playoff losses in the 90s). We had the money to go on cool family vacations and live comfortably in a nice house, not to mention all the damn music lessons I was enrolled in.

Our school still had some of the old awesome playground equipment throughout my elementary school years. The kind that would get you killed. Firepoles that were 3 stories tall, merry-go-rounds that spun so fast and had a wobble to them, metal slides that would heat up in the sun and sear your ass on the way down... that kind of thing. I remember our class also doing some fairly memorable kickball and foursquare games during recess as well.

I could swim (kinda... dogpaddle only) first, but I really learned to ride a bike before I could do any kind of legit "swimming"

Maybe it's like playing with lego blocks with an older brother. The older brother composes your creation by deciding which legos to let you use and you arrange them into something that might resemble a house or a spaceship. :shrug:

If the dumbass is worthy of a roast, then maybe.

Long John Silvers thoughts ?

Also should they serve beer there too? I say yes but eagerly await your response

The biggest thing I get pissed off about them is the judges. I understand the shows are being broadcasted to a general audience that has no knowledge of musical training, but the judges get on there to talk about their performances, and they say absolutely nothing. They're so worthless. "You've got a gift" or "That's not good enough" or "You've got to step up your game the next round!" That tells the performer nothing. It gives them no feedback or place to work to get better in the competition. Can you imagine if a coach in a football game got mic'd up and said shit like that to the players? Why should music be any different?

And the other thing is the idea that these shows perpetuate "talent." Like all the people on the show were all a bunch of Luke Skywalkers when it comes to the music Force, and the rest of us are a bunch of idiot Stormtroopers who have no hope of becoming jedis. It's 100% about the work you put in, what kind of work, and how effectively you work. I might make an argument that something like IQ or learning mindset has a great deal with how much you can improve in a span of time, and that's something that you might be born with into a given situation, but the majority of music really is how much help and support you have, what kind of work you put in, how much of it, and how much you really want to accomplish something. Too often you get asshole contestants who are like, "I just started singing for my mom and she said I had the voice of an angel, and now I'm trying out." Even self-taught musicians who are really good put in the time and the effort. I wish they'd stop making this shit about talent and more about what it takes to reach a certain ability.

I don't. I work for a private Lutheran college.

Why are you incapable of perceiving humor or telling funny jokes?

I must be on ignore. :(

Is Simply Red on ignore?

Clay is my boo. Even though I'm currently mad at him for how mean he is to Lebron James.

Rain Man of course deserves mad respect. The amount of thought that goes into each of his posts and the quantity at which they're put out is astonishing.

The Talking Can doesn't get around much anymore, but that guy was my favorite poster during the Pioli years. I know he's still around lurking.

Why did you change your username to "Real" SNR? Was the old SNR a fake?

We tried, but I don't think anybody has any clue how to run it legitimately. The "academy" we formed and the private subforum with discussions amounted to very little. I think the problem is that there are so many posters deserving of it RIGHT NOW, but nobody ever really "retires" from CP. The best we got is remembering those who have made an impression on the community and are now deceased (Logical, Lonewolf Ed, Dave, Saccopoo, Psyko, among others) and then some posters that started the whole thing like Austin, Phobia.

It's easier just to leave it alone, but if anybody really puts in the work to make it fine, I will support it 100%

Oh good! That's very sweet - thank you!

Composing is writing new music. Never been done before. You might draw influences from other pieces, composers, performers, artists, and you might even make your composition a rip-off, either deliberately or not deliberately, but it's still considered composing original material.

Arranging is taking a composition (either your own or somebody else's) and re-writing it for a new purpose, instrumentation, section, etc.

I can take the song "Happy birthday" and write a symphony based off of the tune by taking fragments of it and spinning it into a giant work. That's an original composition. I can also take "Happy birthday" and write it for an ensemble of 3 kazoos, pipe organ, and plastic recorder. That's an arrangement.

I was worried I was on ignore. I'm glad I'm not - you're one of the sweetest members who I know and I'm proud to have your friendship!

It's tasty, but there aren't any where I live, and I rarely get to them when I travel. I can't say I know much about it other than I had it a couple times like 10-15 years ago.

Yes.

So many jokes...

I gotta move on to my question.

Do you believe that cannabis is a therapeutic, a cure from some ailments, or just a bunch of BS on medical benefits?

I did it to make fun of Seth Keysor's twitter handle. Somehow Twitter gave him a blue checkmark even though he's a dweeb who posts on an sbnation website. He's no different than some bitch with a laptop and a blog.

Then it occurred to me that while his quality of work output was far better than anything I've ever contributed, I'm no different than he is. I'm a dude with a day job and a laptop who writes about football occasionally on the internet. So I decided to make myself RealSNR.

Not at all! I'm just doing these in chronological order as I see them.

You're a nice guy with a great ass. Thanks for posting in my thread!

What's the best piano composition of all time and why is it Aphex Twin's 'Avril 14'

Rape?

I have no doubt that it can relieve pain for many diseases and conditions more effectively and gently than most medications. I don't believe that it makes you live forever like some homeopathic pot-crazy whackos will have you believe.

I think it should be de-criminalized, however.

If you could put any 5 people (dead or live) in the Dolphin Rape Cave, who would they be?

Best roller coaster you have ever ridden?

You're on Death Row. What's your last meal going to be?

My favorite? Or best? Or coolest? I think those are different qualifiers.

I believe the best one to be Liszt's b minor sonata. The circular form of sonata-allegro within multi-movement structure as well as all the ****ing motivic development put into the work is just jaw-dropping. I learn something new every time I listen to that piece. It's also proof that you can make something stunningly gorgeous out of something with deep deep complication and intricate structure.

Are you a Narc? How did that start?

Two of them are local politicians/hospital administrators who tried to **** my family over when I was younger. Had to do with my dad's choice to form his own private practice clinic, and their insistence that he was legally obligated to practice medicine only at their hospital since he was the only urologist in town. Lengthy lawsuit ensued that had they won, it would have been bad shit for us. Years later these same assholes got into land ownership and tried to **** my parents over again when they revealed themselves as the people that secretly set up the land development plot to include apartments across from private lots. The plan my parents saw was an older one that did not include those apartments. Then it was revealed who changed the plans. Those same two assholes. I don't have violent thoughts often, but I do take pleasure in the idea that those two jerkasses might one day get raped to death by dolphins.

After that, I'd go with Peyton Manning, Scott Pioli, and Kevin Keitzman.

Haven't been on many. The Wild Thing at Valley Fair is probably the coolest one I've been on, but it's really not that special of a roller coaster. It's fun, though.

I've never had the real Japanese wagyu beef, so I'd go with that. But given it's the prison system and they can't splurge for that, just give me a fine prime rib and the best damn macaroni and cheese you can find.

Years ago I was at a gas station. Some hobo (he was Native American, yes) asks if I want to buy weed. I say no thanks. He gets insistent about it, lights up, and then sits on the hood of my car, lighting up. I notify the people inside, they call the cops, and they handle the rest.

I told the story on CP, and people called me a narc.

Whatever. That ****er left a dent in my car hood. I hope he gets anally raped every day by a 400-lb man in a dolphin costume.

I'll be back in a few hours to answer more questions (if there are any).

All I remembered was that someone changed your name to SNaRc or something like that and you didn't appreciate it. Thanks for the back story.

You stumble upon a genie lamp- what are your three wishes? (Standard Aladdin genie rules apply)

1. Can't kill anyone
2. Can't make anyone fall in love with you (or make anyone come back from the dead)
3. Can't wish for more wishes

What's your favorite hair metal band?

thank you!

You get three rule changes to apply to all levels of American football by fiat.


What are your three rule changes?

What does snr stand for?

I'd like to own the Chiefs and create a transparent fan-run team via Chiefs Planet. I'd of course have final say, but for the most part, it'd be an owner-fan conversation that anybody could watch and read up on. It'd be fascinating ****ing entertainment for all involved, and it would answer the age-old question people have had about whether or not a group of football fans with their combined powers could handle the ACTUALLY running an NFL team.

The other two wishes... dunno... I'd probably wish for gay shit like world peace and the ability for humans to have interstellar space travel technology that's accessible to the point that we can colonize other planets and go beyond the confines of our solar system.

Led Zeppelin, probably.

1. Defensive pass interference is no longer a spot foul. It's a 15 yard penalty. No more, no less. I get that you can't challenge shit constantly that is so much a judgement call, so just let the balance swing back around in the favor of the defense and allow teams to DPI on purpose if their man gets beat deep. It's not going to cut down on points scored or whatever it is the NFL wants to market.

2. The weird "you can talk to teams about trades before the deadline, but they don't go into effect until a certain date, but you can't tamper!" It's vague, and they just need to put a firm rule into effect. I don't care what it is.

3. Put my draft order idea into effect.

ROFL Goddamn it Bowser I have to spread rep around before you get it again.

Sears and Roebuck.

I'm not kidding.

Hair bands weren't my thing. Sorry.

Where America gets the shaft?

Joke among friends when I was a kid. You know how kids are dumb. I kept it when I signed up for shit as the internet became more and more of a thing. Then I just shortened it to SNR.

Worked with a guy in the mid 90's that would refer to Sears that way.

"At lunch I have to go to Sears, where America gets the shaft."

I guess it always stuck with me.

brave and beautiful post

It's either AMA or nothing. Thats not how this works. :harumph:

I was going to ask him about rape, but am scared he will rape me through my phone.

If you could live anywhere in either North Dakota or South Dakota, with no need to worry about work commutes, where would you live?

Would you rather have Herm Edwards come to your home to recruit your son to Arizona State, Drink Wine and have a good cry with Dick Vermeil, or rent a house to Todd Haley?

Probably out in the Black Hills. Not anywhere too close to Rapid City. All small cities in those two states are basically the same.

Dick Vermeil would be a fascinating conversation partner, and there's a chance he'll provide the wine since he's probably a snob and wouldn't want to drink the garbage I'd be able to get. I'm going with Option #2

I get these Baja fish tacos and hush puppies usually, very tasty, thanks for answering

What do you find more insufferable:
Idiots whining about Trump being racist

Or

Idiots whining about Obama being Muslim

?

How annoyed do you get with people who have shitty taste in music? For instance, nickelback fans, or those who enjoy Toby Keith. Are they lower life forms?

As a man of refined acoustic tastes, do you have any guilty pleasures? Does SNR like to put on Twisted Sister after he's had a couple of Zimas?

I think there were a couple bad wheels lol

Yeah. That's not a narc. At all

Without getting too DC for the main forum, I think it's more annoying when people bitch about Trump only because they're far more numerous than people who bitched about Obama being Muslim.

Trump is a huge piece of shit, but that doesn't mean you have this responsibility or a duty to freak out about every little thing the president said.

What music was