My neighbor is moving.
 

I've lived in my house for 23 years, and I've always had the same two next door neighbors. Now one of them is going to move and I'm going to have to break in a new neighbor. I don't like the pace of change that I'm seeing.

I don't know what to expect. What will my new neighbor be like?

Poll coming in a moving van that will park in front of my house.

I think they made an Academy Award Winning movie about your situation?

The best way to break in new neighbors is show them who is in charge.
I suggest the day they move in, show up with homemade cookies. Right when they reach for the cookies hit them on the head and say "Bad Neighbor!"
Tip: Rolled up newspaper is a good object to use as the hitting device.

I like the rolled up newspaper idea. I need to make sure that they know I'm in control of the block.

1. buy the old house

2. demolish old house

3. enjoy the extra space from the now empty lot

4. profit

5. buy an apricot bmw

Eh. Just be hanging out in your garage with the door open when they roll up in the van. Sets the right tone.

/Takes cover for the Dongerplosion.

Drone on constantly about your Apricot BMW to put the fear in them. Also loathing.

I've considered buy the house and then doing a big human-sized hamster tunnel to connect our houses. That would be fun. But I don't need the room.

Very enjoyable poll.

Kudos to you for my laugh of the day.

If it does turn out to be a registered sex offender who is a teacher who scored with her student, please post pics so we can judge her guilt.

I'm glad you're enjoying the poll, but I'm not. Early returns indicate that my new neighbor will be a stoner Broncos fan with a yippy dog.

Oh, absolutely. And I'll let everyone know if she's teaching adult ed classes now at the local community college.

Please post pics of scorchingly hot college girl.

I'm rooting for twins, but I don't want to get my hopes too high.

Hope for the best. But the worst will happen. Three out of the four houses on the street and across the street have changed owners in the past three years. A fifth will happen soon as the neighbor directly across the street has put up a for sale sign. On each side the new neighbors are worse than the old ones, but not as bad as across the street on the corner

The neighbor on one side has a dog that barks all of the time and mows his lawn twice a week. On the other side they own at least four cars, every Friday he has to wash his primary car while listening to accordion, tuba, and keyboard radio, they put there trash out early on Sunday for some reason so if it's windy it blows over here in the yard, doesn't take care of the yard, but at least they fixed the broken garage door after two years, but have a barking dog

The best neighbor beats out khaki pants man, all three of the lawnmower men but one moved was replaced by the only decent new neighbor and the soon to be moving lawnmower man 2, camaro man, "Asianed out" car man, and vette man, Winnebago man who parks it in the driveway so that he has to have three cars in the street, the globetrotters who play basketball 23 hours a day, and a couple of others that I don't like

That brings us the lawn ornament man. It's bad enough that the motorcycle that he uses every warm day from April 1st to October 1st has a cold engine that has to be revved every morning before work with the loud pipes saving lives thing, but he only has room for his big tire truck and jet ski in his driveway. So his daughter and wife have to park in the street clogging that bend in the road with living on the corner. Then he leaves his damn deflated christmas decorations in the yard until a few weeks ago. I haven't checked, but I think that even though they're off the lights are still up

It's like an apartment complex over here now. I don't think that it'd be that different to move a few blocks over into the townhouses with all of the Latin American Americans. That felt good, end rant

I hope you at least have a scorchingly hot college girl next door, banecat. That would help a lot, I think.

Wish I had a dog that mowed my yard. It could bark any time it wanted. :D

Nah. I wish. The people selling their house have two hot daughters, but they both moved out, but they do visit. Plus their milf still shows enough of where it all came from

It's too expensive to rent

You left out will leave his Christmas lights on year round.

I say we do a CP fundraiser and buy the house next to Rain Man. We would have to agree to never mow, and hoard feral cats.

I think it will be KranzDictum and his boyfriend.

bane-my sympathies. I get it. Mine-has a storage trailer parked in the back yard in plain view of everyone else. Breaking city code. One in the driveway. owns a street legal drag racing camaro, moped, four wheeler. Claims he is doing nothing wrong. Wants to build a big white fence and shed, blocking my view of water. But thinks I am the bad one because I complained to the city. (also complained that I did not buy a house to look at Arkansas)

Maybe I should move next to Rain Man. RM-I promise I will never put up a fence, have a pet and walk outside with my shirt off. I will mow your yard if you need help and will stand on the road with my radar and slow down traffic.

I heard it was becoming a new medical mj dispensary and hostel for "travelers" visiting Denver for a few months at a time.

Sorry.

Oh yeah, In Denver. No.

Thanks. Sounds like my ex in laws. My friends and I called their house the Arkansas Ranch. The minute ya stepped inside you were in razorback heaven

What is wrong with keeping your yard mowed?

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I would approve you on the sale.

There seems to be a neighborhood-specific bias to having motorized toys. My next door neighbor (other side, not the one that's moving) has a pickup with a big RV-type camper bed that's parked in a low-key manner in his driveway, but he's the only one who has a motorized toy at all. There are no four wheelers, hot rods, boats, trailers, or anything else in my neighborhood. I suspect that it's due in part to the fact that parking is very tight in my neighborhood, but I think there's also an attitudinal bias. People who like those types of toys tend to be attracted to the neighborhoods that have bigger lots out in the 'burbs.

He does it at least three times every two weeks. Now I gotta pay a guy to come out every week instead of twice a month. If he dislikse his wife and kids enough to have to try to avoid them, then he should find a better hobby. Instead of parking his cars in the garage or use it for storage like everyone else does, convert it into an area that he can use for hobbies and leave me alone

And name it Animal House.

These are the types of things that living in a deed restricted community prevents.

What do houses like yours run in the Denver market now? Half a million?

I'm thinking if your new neighbors can afford a half a million dollar, or above house. Your chances of having a problem neighbor are going to be in the unlikely category.

I voted Broncos fan because that would be the nightmare scenario. You guys and Chargers fans are fun folk. Most Broncos fans, with the few exceptions here, are arrogant.

Thanks. I'll look that up and into that then. Not sure if they're in my area. But I have been visiting other cities and do remember seeing signs up and wondering what they were

Some people don't like them or the idea of them, because you can't so whatever you want. But keeps the values up and the nuisances down. Tho' I would like a higher roof on my shed. No one can have such things too high above any fences.

Namaste

I'm right outside of a HOA. I'm not sure that they'd expand. And I'd have to see all of the regulations before doing anything, but I'd like to use that pool

Shake them down similar to the way the Vietnamese handled you.

So I assume they’re donk fans? I have a lot of acres and a backhoe. For, you know...stuff.

Is the house south of 500k? If so, I could be your new neighbor...

You are mad that someone mows more than you can pay someone to come out to mow yours, while he parks in the garage? Nut up and mow tool

Re-reading this, you're just a tool

We've had massive appreciation in central Denver. Not meaning to brag, but $500k is in the rear view mirror and is not closer than it appears. If my neighbor can get what the Realtor is telling him ... wow. Because my house is notably larger with more features. I hope he gets every penny.

I only have one other house on my street. It’s a damn rental so I seem to get a few types over the years. Last tenants were the Brady Bunch. One of their kids had green hair, a few nose ring, purple skinny jeans, and thought he was the coolest rock band. I kid you not the second day I’m over there at 11pm telling this kid and his crew the jamming(rock band) is over. He tries to laugh me off and says some crap. Well he doesn’t stop his band playing.

I had done some electrical work for the landlord of that house so my remedy was to go to the box and shut the power off to their garage they were jamming in. I also put a lock on the box. That ended that night. The parents were nice and put an end to that. None of the girls looked like Marsha Brady if your curious.

The current one has a wife so terrible the guy never goes inside after work. He’s always out working in the shed or visiting me. Poor guy!

Great idea.

Lucky you!

So far the consensus is

- will be an avid Bronco fan
- will be a stoner
- will be a distant friendly neighbor

I'm betting on

- will be in a cult
- will have a constantly barking dog
- will have a Duggar like family composition

I can understand your concerns and subsequent plea to the Planet for guidance. We moved into our current place almost 20 years ago and were the new kids until last year when the neighbors behind us sold out! They (the new peopl e) were only there 6 months before a another realtor sign went back up. Hmmmmmm ......

So you feel the need to keep up with your neighbors. Are they the Jones'? Grass should be let get any taller than 6" before it is cut. That isnpushing it too.

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No, one guy's an overachiever who mows all of the time. And right next to me on the side is the guy who has a two car garage with two cars parked in it and parks two more cars on one side of his driveway. They both have dogs that bark all of the time. They both put their cars in their garage. They must have big basements for storage and home offices. I'm not a kid and so I'm not mowing any lawn, and I'm not paying someone to mow it more than once a week

Maybe so. More of a dick

I hate neighbors. Living in town would be worse than death.

That explains a lot.

My view yesterday and today. Thanks neighbor for blocking my view from my fire pit and getting to see your shed for the next 20 years.https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...85d751571f.jpghttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...1872bffa0d.jpg

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I know people bitch about HOAs but this is what they prevent.

Wouldn't they prevent the fire pit?

Another story about a guy who doesn't have enough money to own his own island.

I'm sure your neighbor is sorry for blocking your view of the newly constructed apts across the pond.

newly remodeled. More mad about the wide open space of the pond. and looking at the shit shed. If I wanted a barn, I would move back to the farm.

Apparently everyone gets a nice open view of the pond but me.

That is hardly a barn. Still not seeing the severity of the issue. Who the hells wants to sit out and watch the glorious view of a waste/runoff pond?

Admit it. You're just mad he has a shed to put his shit in and a better lawn than you.

I have a 4 car garage. So I would not need a shed in my yard.

And this is Minnesota-its a lake:). Ok not really.

Yes, but does it have a lake view?

not anymore

You put your mowers in the garage? Aren't you afraid the wife will run them over..... with you on it, while hanging out in the garage??

Know it from experience?

I'll have you know, I do like to hang out in my garage. Where else would you expect me to flip off my neighbors as they drive by?

On the topic of obstructed views, I know one organization in Denver that's on the top floor of a building, and they have (had) a great view of the entire Front Range of mountains. The last time I was there a couple of years ago, they were sadly watching the construction of a high rise a couple of blocks to their west that was going to cover up the entire middle part of the view. I think they're leasing, but you have to figure that the value of their offices is going to tank on the next lease.

I think the Denver real estate market will begin to go down next year. The type of growth that has been happening can only be sustained for so long.

It's astounding how much residential development has occurred in central Denver. And nearly all of it has been rental housing. We're having a ton of population growth, but ... wow. Are they all moving into my 'hood? I don't know if the 'burbs are growing this fast, but it's amazing. They've added thousands of housing units within three miles of my house in the past three years, and it's still happening.

Where you neighbors going?

He's moving to Las Vegas. He's in his early 60s and can get a larger house there for half the price, and it'll help him free up capital for retirement. It seems like a pretty good plan for him.

I like your way of thinking.