I'm the guy that people come to when they want ...
 

Complete the sentence above. What do people know you for? What's your uniquely valuable skill set or talent?




As for me, I'm the guy people come to when they want to know something like the names of the fifteen former Soviet Republics.

Movie quotes.

Aids

Above average penis(women only)

their computer fixed.

Systems issues.

I'm really happy that you're in Denver.

That's me as well. ROFL i'll be original though and say swimming.

What will look good visually with something or a creative idea for something

Stuff fixed around the house, from electronics [whole home and appliance] to carpentry.
Car repair
Trivia contests

problems euthanized

Liquor

Do you have a lot of computer problems or did you see me post and joy overcame you at the thought that we can finally be best friends now that we are in the same city?

videos and vitriol 'r us

Their toilet unclogged.

Let's play it by ear until I figure out whether you also own a pickup.

We need to meet up at some point. Where are you living?

Anything that has to do with ag; general horticulture, plant physiology, weed ID, herbicides, fertilizers, equipment, whatever.

Auto mechanical issues (I don't know why, I'm a shit mechanic)

Accounting and financial questions (even though I'm barely a wanna be accountant)

No pickup. I own a Subaru WRX. It does have a hatch though so I can pack quite a bit.

I'm in Greenwood Village at the moment.

Butt stuff

A job

A load of buckshot in there ass.

Or old candies from yesteryear.

unhelpful sarcastic remarks.

jack of all trades

Girls want to make their ex boyfriend jealous.

to find a good deal.

the machine shipped
the right part number, print. document

hey, but I did get $3/hr raise this year, as another company poached the place

Greenwood Village? for some reason I thought you were a downtown guy.

Staying with a friend at the moment. Not sure if we are going downtown or mountains yet.

To know the truth about anything, an information desk that's useful upon request.

A raise

a good laugh and a cold beer.

Good weed, a good time, almost any info on reggae, or a place for a band to play.

Sports info

I'm the guy people come to when they need a hole dug....

Meth

Useless trivia (Cliff Clavin from Cheers)
Help moving
Help fixing their intrawebs

sexual favors involving rabid rabbits

At work, it's when someone needs someone else's (mostly vendors) cage rattled.

Otherwise... Cooking advice, mostly.

If you could pair up with someone who specializes in clogging toilets, you could make a mint.

What's the best way to cook an AIDS infested squirrel? Asking for a friend. No homo.

You rang?

Sauté and baste with butter.

Or braise in antifreeze.

Be sure to get it to 160 to kill the AIDS.

Scorn, contempt and slight regard.

Free IT consultation.

A careful and detailed explanation of why they are a complete moron.

Oh wait, that's just what I do here. In real life it's legal advice (duh).

a sarcastic response that will belittle them and make them feel inadequate.

Is there a difference?

Nope.

Reality check

What is the most delicious meal I could cook in just 15-20 minutes and not many ingredients?

scrambled eggs and bacon

it only requires bacon and eggs (use the grease from the bacon for the eggs)

Lately, the most common one has been: "Hey man, I'm in *insert random city* and want to know what kind of cool craft beer I should get while I'm here."

I usually hope that this is followed by an offer to bring back some of the recommended beer for my consumption.

Dinner. I am a very good cook, but not on Gordon Ramsay's level.

Interesting, they call me when they need one clogged.

Damn, beat to the pinch by Dartgod.

Credit info
motivation
praise
life advice

someone banned

Livestock masturbated

You do people too?

Asking for a friend.

ROFL I should add that...

a night out away from their kids

Employee and labor relations issues resolved

Better tv service
Betting advice
Parenting advice

insider NFL info

...advice on mountain bike trails in SW Colorado Area.

advice on how to get properly intoxicated for any situation

Someone to help them move, sometimes having a truck can be a real pain.

Someone to have a couple beers with while they dump their emotional problems out

A good time. I'm pretty fun. And funny.

Advice on relationships

FYP

Pasta carbonara.

Original movie quotes. (it's different)

...

they have a new business opportunity. I get hit with about 1 per month.

You've got incredible talent my Man.

How to fix a heater for you

"Special" brownies.

hook it up

I've seen your relationship threads dude......total freakin trainwreck