Originally Posted by SNR (Post 11335510)

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/TQaGzBhdg78" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins (Post 11335521)

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 11335523)

I don't do Miley Perry or Vanilla-T or whatever whack shit it is you kids stick in your ears these days.

Originally Posted by MTG#10 (Post 11335592)

Pedophiles winning n00b awards...sounds about right for this place...

Originally Posted by MTG#10 (Post 11335592)

Pedophiles winning n00b awards...sounds about right for this place...

Originally Posted by Baconeater (Post 11335605)

Asterisk.

Originally Posted by Gonzo (Post 11335695)

How did we come to this conclusion?

Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 (Post 11335702)

I do move for a poll where we put Bufkin up against 'no n00b was worthy in 2014' and declare the winner of that poll n00b of the year.

If Bufkin gets the votes against 'no n00b worthy', then I think he gets the crown with no asterisk.

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 11335793)

PizzaDoughz went into the red. I saw it. According to the rules of the contest, that means he is out of the competition.

I'm not going to bother barking out orders to the mods about what they can or can't do. I set a deadline of this weekend for a natural winner to be declared before I stepped in and made new rules for sudden death. I tried to keep this competition as laissez faire as possible, only setting the rules in place in the OP and letting events transpire as they may.

If people have a problem with the way this contest ended, I'd like them to tell me how I could have run it any better. And no, a poll is NOT the solution. I'm a free-thinking man and I do creative shit. I make intelligence tests and write Animal Farm allegories for my roasts. That's how I ****ing roll.

Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 (Post 11335819)

congrats, Bufkin ... you beat pizzadoughz (a guy no one has ever heard of), another guy who no one has heard of, and another guy no one has ever heard of

what a great n00b of the year contest

a glowing success!

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 11335793)

PizzaDoughz went into the red. I saw it. According to the rules of the contest, that means he is out of the competition.

I'm not going to bother barking out orders to the mods about what they can or can't do. I set a deadline of this weekend for a natural winner to be declared before I stepped in and made new rules for sudden death. I tried to keep this competition as laissez faire as possible, only setting the rules in place in the OP and letting events transpire as they may.

If people have a problem with the way this contest ended, I'd like them to tell me how I could have run it any better. And no, a poll is NOT the solution. I'm a free-thinking man and I do creative shit. I make intelligence tests and write Animal Farm allegories for my roasts. That's how I ****ing roll.

Originally Posted by PizzaDoughz (Post 11335856)

Welp, I wish I would've at least been taken down by Bufkin's supporters. I got hit by 10 super powered neg reps by a mod that immideately took it out.

Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 (Post 11335861)

Yeah, well ... before the contest started I could have told you what was going to happen.

Here's what I'll say:

You were the Josh Hamilton of this contest the year he hit 27 HR's in 1 round at the HR derby at Yankee Stadium. He didn't win the HR derby because he wore himself out, but that's all anyone talked about, and that's all anyone remembered.

Your strategy was genius and very clever. If you figured that out on your own, kudos to you. That was brilliant.

So, honestly ... the only cool thing about the contest was your creativity. That's what will be remembered about this n00b contest. Not Bufkin's asterisk win.

Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 (Post 11335861)

Yeah, well ... before the contest started I could have told you what was going to happen.

Here's what I'll say:

You were the Josh Hamilton of this contest the year he hit 27 HR's in 1 round at the HR derby at Yankee Stadium. He didn't win the HR derby because he wore himself out, but that's all anyone talked about, and that's all anyone remembered.

Your strategy was genius and very clever. If you figured that out on your own, kudos to you. That was brilliant.

So, honestly ... the only cool thing about the contest was your creativity. That's what will be remembered about this n00b contest. Not Bufkin's asterisk win.

Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 (Post 11335887)

hey BDj23

do you realize if you NEVER posted again, no one would notice or care?

in conclusion, stop following me around, it's creepy

thanks in advance

Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 (Post 11335897)

if I'm reeruned, why am I fluent in 4 languages including mandarin?

Originally Posted by ThaVirus (Post 11335934)

LMAO LMAO Hootie doesn't speak anything more than English

Originally Posted by ThaVirus (Post 11335934)

LMAO LMAO Hootie doesn't speak anything more than English

Originally Posted by PizzaDoughz (Post 11335856)

Welp, I wish I would've at least been taken down by Bufkin's supporters. I got hit by 10 super powered neg reps by a mod that immideately took it out.

Originally Posted by PizzaDoughz (Post 11335876)

It was my idea. And the best part was, with the strategy, I had time to garner more pos rep supporters than neg rep ones. Meaning, I was planning on posting soon but a mod stopped that from happening.

Note to future noobs: don't bother lobbying for support and spending time, instead look for a mod to support you and you'll win. It might feel dirty, but hey the Pats cheat all the time and they feel great!

Originally Posted by Bufkin (Post 11336106)

-Bufkin, 2014 N00b of the Year*.

Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 11336114)

At the very beginning Flopnuts bitched that if anyone took Pizza's paper route money, he'd be mad.

At the end, it wasn't your witty posts he raved about needing. It was the CSPAN prank call.

...

So woo woo you too too.

Originally Posted by Bufkin (Post 11336128)

That's where you're wrong Margaret Cho. I didn't need Flopnuts to win. It was my advice that we ignore the rep, have a 1 v. 1 smack-off, and let everybody decide via voting who the NOTY should be.

Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 (Post 11336215)

I stand by the fact that the real winner is ... 'no n00b worthy.'

Originally Posted by KC native (Post 11336242)

Goddamnit. I hate when I have to agree with Hootie.

Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 (Post 11336215)

I stand by the fact that the real winner is ... 'no n00b worthy.'

Originally Posted by ptlyon (Post 11336515)

I'm seeing a trend here of major Butthurt from people that have absolutely nothing better to do with their time

Originally Posted by Sweet Daddy Williams (Post 11337051)

Goddamn what a bunch of crybaby bitches.

Bufkin-haters handle reality the way the Chiefs draft and play football:

Shittily.

Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 (Post 11336215)

I stand by the fact that the real winner is ... 'no n00b worthy.'

Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 (Post 11337119)

Bufkin is to n00b of the year as Bob Hamelin was to rookie of the year

Originally Posted by ptlyon (Post 11336515)

I'm seeing a trend here of major Butthurt from people that have absolutely nothing better to do with their time

Originally Posted by Bufkin (Post 11336128)

That's where you're wrong Margaret Cho. I didn't need Flopnuts to win. It was my advice that we ignore the rep, have a 1 v. 1 smack-off, and let everybody decide via voting who the NOTY should be.

Originally Posted by Bufkin (Post 11336128)

That's where you're wrong Margaret Cho. I didn't need Flopnuts to win. It was my advice that we ignore the rep, have a 1 v. 1 smack-off, and let everybody decide via voting who the NOTY should be.

Originally Posted by Bufkin (Post 11336106)

Before I get to my congratulatory speech, I would like to clear the air about a stipulation that was made a few days ago. Me, SNR, and PizzaDoughz had initially agreed that as punishment, the poster who finishes in 2nd place would have to knock on MTG#10's door wearing a Tallit, tzizit, and talit katan. However, after speaking with the Lee's Summitt Sheriff's Department and Lee's Summitt Police Chief Joe Dismang, it was decided that this was stepping into sure danger. Chief Dismang said that while MTG's vehement, insane, and anti-historical views on the Holocaust would prevent such a dangerous stipulation to occur, he would like to extend his congratulations to myself as the 2014 N00b of the Year.

Onto my comments, I'd like to thank everybody who helped make this happen. Although it was determined fairly quickly that I was the most deserving, being the most qualified doesn't always lead to a successful campaign (see John Kerry 2004). Without being too emotional, I'd like to dedicate this victory to my grandfather, who was killed during a Monsanto protest in the early 1970's. It was his philosophy of eating lots of pussy and kicking lots of ass that inspired me to take this competition with as much passion as humanly possible.

I'd also like to thank Coochie Liquor, who has easily earned the silver medal for NOTY 2014. Due to PizzaDoughz's blatant cheating, Coochie's involvement will unfortunately be minimized. Not to worry my Reggae friend, we will remember you. I'd also like to thank the other contestants not named PizzaDoughz who participated fairly, equally, and unequivically.

Now onto you. I hate to be the Ebenezer Scrooge of your little concession speech, but you did not gather any support whatsoever because of your posts. People supported you for one of two, and only two reasons.

1: They hate my guts.
2: They were rooting for the underdog.

Prior to this contest, I'm pretty sure Hootie was the only poster who knew who the hell you were. The moral you should be taking away from this is that if you bend the rules, don't get sand in your vagina when a superior takes action. As a teenager, you most likely haven't learned this. Take it to the real world my friend and use this advice for life. If you are caught meddling with your pay stub at work, the supervisor who catches you will do the exact same. Enjoy your shiny new post count, and wear your unofficial 2nd place medal with pride.

I will be counting up my reps and making an accurate donation to Chiefs Planet here within the next few days. I will also be preparing for a C-SPAN prank call, chosen by CP posters of course.

God bless, and so long for now!

-Bufkin, 2014 N00b of the Year.

Originally Posted by crazycoffey (Post 11337593)

I'm so glad we got this figured out, now I can finally get some sleep.

Oh and here's my list of all the things being named a N00b of the year;
1)

Originally Posted by BigRedChief (Post 11338738)

what did you do with your NOTY prize money?