What's the fattest thing you or someone you know has done?
 

Let's hear about the most disgusting eating practices you have inflicted upon your disgusting bodies. Would also LOVE to hear stories about fat coworkers doing fat things or even just random strangers.

I love a good food freakshow, let's get this show ON THE ROAD.

Here are some disgusting fatbody stories:

I just ate one and a half Hy Vee pizzas and had half a gallon of ice cream earlier today. And 8 bowls of cereal.

Here's a good one from my youth:

I went to school with this tubby little Scot named Oswin King. Great name for a fat kid, right? I always remember at lunch he would eat really ****ing fast. Just inhale his tray of shitty ass UK school food.

His excuse was that he was under doctor's orders to eat that way. Riiiight. EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT

Also, when I was young, a relative would eat McDonalds french fries in the most disgusting manner. They would dip their ENTIRE FRY in ketchup, and then nibble a bit off the end. Then they would re-submerge the fry for the next bite. Repulsive.

So that's like 6,000 calories. Carb up?

This is a true story. In high school, I had a giant German Shepherd named Kujo. One night, I was on the couch eating a giant bag of m&m's. I dropped one underneath where I was sitting, and without thinking, I reached to pick it up and plop it in my mouth. Unfortunately, I didn't grab what I thought was the m&m, and I certainly didn't bite into what I thought was the m&m. It was a dog tick from Kujo's huge ass.

My friend used to cut hair.

She told me this whale I used to work with came in and got stuck in the chair. Like wedged.

She used to cut her size whale shorts down the side so she could get them over herself. Then of course the fat would be showing through the cut.

No food stories. But damn. She was fat.

Nope. Pure gluttony.

I'm forced off of the diet for 2 weeks.

A+

I watched a lady eat a personal pizza with a knife and fork. Dipped every single piece in ranch dressing.

I followed up a grilled lunch ribeye AND potato... with a Burger Sling Big King and fries that evening, oh yeah mfer, and I enjoyed it too.

No guilt, no shame just get back on the train.

Jesus. How much weight are you planning to gain? I'm guessing you gained a pound already today.

That's fat? I do that every time I visit a pizza buffet.

My niece and nephew slather pizza in ranch. It makes me want to puke.

In fact they're the ones I grilled up a kickass ribeye steak for and then they promptly dipped it in ranch. Their lives nearly ended that day.

I dunno. Only going off the diet crazy for a week. Tapering back down this week and doing another round of UD 2.0 probably.

But I'm bloated as **** right now.

Anyone who orders dessert at a chain restaurant. For themselves. Not only do they suck, but it must be 1500-2000 calories. Probably more

STOP DESCRIBING MY LIFE AND CALLING IT FAT.

I have a few examples.

1) I remember once getting in trouble at my grandma's house for eating an entire stick of butter like it was a candy bar. I made it about 7/8 of the way through before she caught me.

2) I once participated in a wing eating contest at a Tilted Kilt in Tempe, AZ. It was all-you-can-eat, no limit. I ate 72 wings. No bullshit. I vomited more than should be possible for a human to vomit. It was probably illegal in some parts of the world. ***I did not win***

3) When I was in High School, I would go into the break room most days and get a Milky Way out of the vending machine. I would then pour 2 packets of Swiss Miss into a small cup of water, basically making a small vat of molten hot fudge. I would then dip said Milky Way into the hot chocolate and eat it. It tasted like heaven. And diabetes.

4) During my high school football days, back when I was burning 3k calories at practice and conditioning every day, I'd routinely eat 4-5 Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers from Wendy's at lunch. They were a dollar and I was poor. It was a glorious time in my life.

5) I'm fairly healthy now, but every once in a while I'll order a large pizza from Minsky's and eat the entire thing with a 6 pack of craft beer. I try to eat a minimal amount of carbs and not drink during the week (I tend to feel better if I don't) and I'll reward myself with no more than one shitty meal on the weekends. The pizza is all I have left.

Nothing wrong with that. Life isn't worth living if you can't eat some pizza every once in a while.

I used to work at Kroger when I was a kid.

Every day. Literally EVERY ****ING DAY I worked there, I would walk across the street to McDonalds and have two cajun chicken sandwiches for lunch. I thought they tasted amazing.

Appalling.

My high school lunch consisted of a hostess fruit pie, a bag of Cheetos, and a 20 oz bottle of Surge.

I bet you were worthless in the afternoon. :LOL:

I actually had a really disgusting thread on CP once....I think it was here anyway, about 10-11 years ago...I loaded up a plate with shit tons of frozen/fried food and nuked it all...I remember it being an obscene amount of food because my eyes were bigger than my quite impressive stomach at the time.

The thread was something about THE GREAT FEAST but I can't find it in the archives. I remember I had like 4 egg rolls, and a couple hot pockets and a few other things.

I'd say the fattest thing I've ever seen someone else do occurred when I was a freshman in high school. We had this fat kid that was a co-worker at a place called the Red Barn Restaurant in Fort Scott, KS. Some of you may have known it. Anyway, we were both bus boys there, and the whole crew was a big group of friends. It was probably the most fun I've ever had at work.

The fat kid, though, once disappeared for about an hour one Sunday. We couldn't find him. Finally, someone realized that he'd locked himself in the large walk-in freezer in the back of the restaurant. It was in an isolated area and we only used it for desserts. On Sundays, we had this amazing flat-pan brownie cake with a chocolate icing. When we found the kid in the walk-in, he was sitting on the floor with chocolate all over his shirt. Apparently he had beaten on the door and couldn't get out. For fear that he was about to die, he had decided that his last meal would be every ounce of icing from the top of the brownie cake. This cake was something like 2.5' x 3'. It was huge. He ate every drop of the icing.

He probably should have died that day.

Ironically, now, he's skinny and healthy. That may have been the turning point.

You know you are going to hell, right?

All of you insensitive pricks right to the pit of fire and brimstone.

is this the make you feel good about yourself thread?

When I was around nine or ten years old my mom got a job at Dunkin' Donuts. She would work the graveyard shift, very late at night until very early in the morning. I don't know if they still do this, but at that time the donuts would be made fresh every day, and the day-old donuts would be thrown out before the breakfast rush every morning. Well she started bringing them home to us instead. Five of us kids. Dozens and dozens of donuts and "donut holes." One by one my siblings grew tired of them as the weeks went by and stopped eating them. Not I. I just ate more. More and more until I was the only one eating them. All of them. I don't know how long this went on but even I eventually couldn't eat them anymore. In fact I was so sick of them that I couldn't eat sweet bread for about fifteen years. No cakes, no cookies or any kind of sweet bread. I'd get sick to my stomach if I even walked by a Mrs. Fields store at a mall.

I remember going out with co-workers during college to a bar after the office closed. Everyone ordered drinks. Beers, mixed drinks, etc.

I ordered what must have been 30 ounces of Pepsi. No alcohol for me! Just sugar water, thanks.

look at me look at me

once saw a man down a full solo cup of pig drippings. It was the runoff from butchering an entire smoked hog. groosssss! fast forward 5 years and he had gout at 30

also, I would the whole thing

Buncha filthy sinners the lot of 'em.

DAMN...that's like more than two cans. Sicko

That's probably like 500 calories though, just in a cup. Everyone else is sitting around having a beer.

It's awful.

In my early 20's a group of people including myself, would try the Ben and Jerry's Vermonster challenge. It was something like 30 scoops of ice cream, a bunch of toppings, a huge brownie, and a couple of bananas all served in one tub. You and 3 others had to eat all of it in one sitting. Out if the same tub. About half way through you'd be watching melted ice cream dripping back in the tub off the knuckles of your comrades. We had like. 3 or 4 groups at a time. The groups that would finish would always barf in the parking lot. For some insane, self hating reason(same gene that made me a Chiefs fan), we did this like 3 or 4 times

I graduated with this girl who was a fat ass. She rode my bus. In the morning, she would bring a bucket of sour cream and eat it with a spoon. She would follow this by washing it down with that Cheese Whiz shit that came in the spray can. Whenever someone talked to her about being fat, she would always be like, "I'm fat because of my medicine!" No.... she was fat because she ate like a dipshit.

To go along with this, I recall her and this other fat chick who rode my bus getting into a heated argument that almost became a full-fledged fight....the reason being, the sour cream eating fat girl wouldn't share any of her sour cream with the other fat girl.

It was pretty funny.

I love fat kid stories. Here are mine:

1. 6 college kids who are 19-20 living in a house in Springfield. Every Monday night during football season, we would go to Wal-Mart and each of us would get a 2-liter of fruit soda (orange, strawberry, grape, etc), a rotisserie chicken, and a bag of chips. Not like a snack-size bag, but a full bag.
2. Same era, but for Chiefs' games, we would go to Little Caesar's and each person would get a $5 pizza and crazy bread.
3. A couple years later, I was living in KC with friends still at MO State. We would visit them once or twice a semester and we would drink Friday night and then to sober ourselves up on Saturday, we'd hit up a KFC buffet. We'd always end up somehow stealing enough chicken to gorge ourselves later that night while drunk again.
---Side note: Very lucky that we played racquetball religiously or we would have all been obese.---
4. Fogo de Chao. Every single year, a group of us go there and a few of us guys decide to turn it into a pigfest. Our last visit lasted 3 hours. Bonus: I took a shit at the 1.5 hour mark.
5. First time I got high I spent $25 at QuikTrip on food.
6. Ultimate fat day: Drunk at 5am, went to Chubby's on Broadway. Wake up at 3pm and go to Dairy Queen. High at 9pm and ordered pizza and Chinese food.

If I live past 30, it'll be amazing.

Jesus. I retched just reading that?

I have a buddy who used to have a penchant for picking up the fattest chick in any club.
(Beer was clearly the problem).
I'd try to intervene by asking him how many fingers I was holding up. If I flashed 3 he said 2, 2 was 1. The guy was hopeless...
The fattest thing he did was a 350 lb boar masquerading as a woman.
He swears to this day "she had great tits".

Minsky's Prime Cut FTW

ROFL

You da real MVP.

My cousins used to have this bad ass chinese buffet by their house and we used to tear it up. Well the first time i went my cousins were telling me how they would put at least 2 pounds of shrimp on their plate, they used to clean them out. So as were walking in the owner saw us and looked like he wanted to shit his pants. ROFL

You guys all beat me, but I'll admit that any time I buy a Marie Callender's Lemon Meringue Pie, the only reason I stop eating once I open it up is shame. I can sometimes stretch it out to three servings, but usually not.

I would order a bacon sonic double cheeseburger and some jalapeño poppers. Guess what I did? Threw about 3 to 4 of those poppers on the burger and destroyed it. Amazing.

I used to routinely eat 3 Bacon and Tomato sandwiches (with mayo) for dinner. I haven't had a single one this year. Sniff.

When I was a teenager, a bowl of ice cream could mean a quart.

At the Cheesecake Factory, an order of Chicken Bellagio and cheese cake for dessert could easily pop 3000 calories.

That's all I got.

Oh man, I remember if I was having ice cream, that meant at LEAST 4 scoops. The bowl needed to full like it was a bowl of soup.

Half a pie is only 1000 calories. That is only like one piece of Cheesecake at Cheesecake factory.

Actually, now that I've had some more time to think about this...I can describe my fattest experience(s) using only 2 words.

Golden Corral.

http://youtu.be/Dinpytifprs

Maury I has sex for bacon cheeseburgers

Just eating dinner at the Cheesecake Factory probably gets you into the quarterfinals of this contest. I think you hit 1,000 calories just with the water.

I sued to order the Supersized McDonald double quarter pounder meal and a cheeseburger on the the side for lunch... 5 days a week. That's a 2000+ calorie meal. I was pulling in between 6000-8000 calories a day back then.

Back when I was a security guard I worked with this Canadian guy. He was at least 6'3 and about 350.
He had a huge ****ing head and his mouth was the size of a baseball.

Anywho, whenever we'd order pizza for the crew, he'd take three pieces, stack them and eat them in about four or five bites. I saw this dude eat four BK whoppers in about five minutes.
I've never seen anything like it.
Whenever one of the guards would have a bday and we'd get a cake, he'd eat three or four pieces. One time we ordered a second small cake just for him so someone wouldn't go all "office space."

I used to get 2 combos from A&W.

2 large fries, a papa burger with all the trimmings, 6 chicken strips, a gravy.

It's not that fat but I would eat it quick sober like nothing than get stoned, and eat more shit (doritos, beef jerky, sodas, candy)

like caesar ranch? cause that's disgusting, I could only eat it with peppercorn ranch if I tried but I don't.

dunno about in the US but here in Canada, it's almost forbidden to eat pizza plain. There is so many variety of dipping sauces for our pizza that ranges from creamy roasted garlic dip to cheddar jalepeno to bbq, ranch, the list goes on.

haven't noticed much of that in the states, I know papa johns does some garlic butter thing but this is entirely different. it's like the dipping sauces you'd get from a mcdonalds or BK.

our little caesars carry a lot of flavors of dips here, does yours?

When I was 18 I worked at Wal-Mart, guy named doug was 300 + with that hole in his throat. He could only wear stretch pants but every single day while smelling like absolute piss and shit he would down an entire box of little debbies.

On my Saturday night dyink nights I used to drink a 12 pack of beer then at the end of the night my wife would stop by Mickey D's for me and I'd get two of the big sandwiches and super sized fry.

Yeah but you are all active and muscley. It will have minimal impact .

Whenever I get chicken strips I drink the leftover gravy from the little foam cup. :shrug :

When I was like 10 or 11 or something I ate 76 wings at a Ponderosa Steakhouse buffet.

When I was about 18-21 we would get stoned as hell and go to my friend's grand parents house late at night. His grandfather was really grumpy and looked like Wilford Brimley. They had really cheap Budding brand sliced Turkey. We would steal the turkey, a loaf of bread and a bottle of cheap BBQ sauce and dip the turkey and bread in it. We would eat like a whole pack of turkey each. We did this at least 4-5 times.

Anyone remember the Bigfoot Pizza that Pizza Hut used to have. I remember eating a whole one by myself a few times.

Also a time when I had a country fried steak dinner at Perkins then went straight to McDonalds and ate a Double Quarter Pounder Value meal.

Not really disgusting or all that funny but at the time I thought it was...used to work with a lady that would eat a snicker bar on morning break and chase it with a Slim Fast...

Back in the day I knew this guy that worked at KFC, he'd come by my place and I'd trade him herb for boxes of those strawberry short cake parfaits they used to sell.

A friend of mine brought a McDonald's Blitz box to a Chiefs party last year... and ate the whole thing himself. That is two Quarter Pounders with cheese, 10 Chicken McNuggets and two medium fries. It was gross and I can't imagine it being even warm by the time he finished it all. He was even more excited that he got a Chiefs window flag with the box.

http://timenewsfeed.files.wordpress....0&h=240&crop=1

EDIT: I just looked it up and it's 2,940 calories.

Soooo.... did it make you fat ?

I have a weakness and its ice cream. As kids me and brother could annihilate a gallon tube of vanilla. My brother would spoon in a bowl then smash down with hand to get more. What ever we had for toppings went on it. Slice bannana Hershey and peanuts. When that was out fruit cocktail. Even instant coffee. We never got fat as kids because we were active always playing sports,riding bikes etc.



Today I have a monkey on my back and its Hyvee brand mint chocolate chip ice cream. That stuff is heroin.

Not as repulsive as dipping them in mayonnaise. Fat on top of fat. Gross.

clay's mom.

When I was a teenager, I ate a bowl of Count Chocula in heavy whipping cream.

I dated a guy once, who bragged about eating at all-you-can-eat oyster bars with his mom. Then they'd stick their fingers down their throats to vomit them up. After that, they'd go in and eat more. All because it was one price all-you-can-eat. Doing that is one thing, boasting about it as an adult and doing it with your mom is another thing entirely, imo. I broke up with him after that.*



* and due to one other gross thing he boasted about doing that was unethical.

not as bad as i expected

:shurg:

that doesn't sound too out of the ordinary except for the mayo which, at that point, is largely irrelevant

I once drank a half case of Budweiser and ate a whole pack of hot dogs as if they were pretzel sticks as I dipped them in a bowl full of melted velveeta cheese.

Man, I could pump these out all day.

I don't get fat, though. So.......

I drank a 30 pack of beer in one day. College times.

This thread.......

http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/8045...05/Gagging.gif

I be been known to eat a chipotle burito bowl and an order of heir tacos. Mmmmm

My fat friend at work up here has eaten food out of the trash and eaten food that has been sitting out for more than 3 days. He's one of those guys that did a shitload of steroids in his youth and it's all turned to fat. He eats damn near anything. Constantly eating. He shits like 6 times a day.

I saw a friend of mine eat a container of chip dip with a spoon. No chips, just a spoon.