The most important one-sentence piece of advice you've ever received.
 

One sentence. Sometimes it's hysterical, irrelevent, or whatever.

It lingered in you, and it shapes who you are most days.

Share it with us, so that we too may swim in its terse wisdom.

Mine: It's okay if your first draft is shit.

Don't **** up.

My step-grandfather talking to 12 year old me about titties

"big titties are fun but all you need is a mouthfull"

Grow a set.

You can't be anal retentive if you don't have an anus.

Be good or be good at it

Get a clue

&

Your choice to be a fan

My Grandpa as he is stumbling around his backyard during a party: "You're not drunk until you have to hold onto the grass to keep from flying off the Earth".

It's all pink on the inside.

When I do good I feel good, when I do bad I feel bad..........this is my Religeon!

Same here.

Stay in the Air Force, there ain't shit out here.

Always leave it better than you found it.

"It's not a 4th of July party until someone goes to the hospital."

I know the best piece of advice I never got was "don't root for the Chiefs you moron".

I tell people

Admitting your problem is the first step to recovery.

My Dad used to tell me this when I would tell him about how much my comicbook collection was worth....

"It's only worth what someone will pay for it."

Never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city.

Life ain't no damn dress rehearsal.

Getting old, iisn't for sissies...

There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.

Don't eat yellow snow.

Plastics

Toss-up between;

Ask for forgiveness not permission.

OR

Buy land, they're not making any more.

one play at a time

ROFL We might be related. My step grandfather said the same thing to me. I was like 10 though.

Trust your instincts.

Make it better than the last time.

Sit down and shut up.

**** the man. -my father

The HMC on my first ship in the navy warning us at indoc about sleeping with the girls on the boat. He said:

"Dogs don't shit where they sleep".

Aaaaannd, now it's weird.

Always say thank you to people in your life. - dad

'Big un, you can do whatever you want'

It was a toast, said on the first drink of every evening.

Well...drinking evenings anyway.

"Play Good Football"

It was much more profound then "Don't Play Bad Football"

Don't take yourself too seriously.

Toughen up.

Assume every gun is loaded.

Learn from your mistakes.
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The only thing worse than growing up, is never quite learning how.

"I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol, and wild women. The other half I wasted." - WC Fields

"Watch your muzzle." Dad
It's good advice for your gun, your mouth, and your pecker.

So you never got advice on how tell the difference between a quote and advice.

If your not God quit acting like you are God / my therapist

get busy living or get busy dying

The customer can spend his money anywhere he wants to.

1. Be your own man.

2. Don't envy anyone; you don't know what sort of problems they live with.

3. Measure twice, cut once.

4. Never trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

Love others just as God has loved me.

LSD will make you think the same thing.

Love may fail, but courtesy will prevail.

One (at a time)...

"Make the first exit wound and you should be fine."

It doesn't matter what you believe in, just have faith in something.

Friends is friends and business is business.

You PLAY to WIN the GAME!

"Be ready to die for something you don't understand and can't spell."

Lots of great shit in here. I could come up with a bunch. But, here is my grand response.


"Life isn't always fair."

Half of these **** whores are VC, the other half have TB; make sure you only **** the ones that cough.

Successful people are the hardest workers.

Loose lips sink ships.

"That looks like duck shit."

-My 7th grade shop teacher, upon observing my initial attempt at a welding bead.

Neither of us knew at the time, but it made an impression on me. I still think about that day whenever I **** up, because I did it again and got it right and learned that you can do it again and get it right.

Don't let Direckshun's shitty threads bother you.

"It will feel better when it quit's hurtin'" Dadowanian

You ain't very bright but you can take a punch. Words of encouragement from my dad~

"If you really love her, wear a cover"

Bitches be crazy...

Kidding, but this one comes mind:

"Don't think. Do".

First time changing spark plugs on my fist car an Olds 442, I was having trouble getting the plug in. My dad says "I bet if it had some hair around it you'd be able to find it"


My Instructor at NMITC had a good one. "Think fast, speak slow"

High school auto teacher: K.I.S.S., keep it simple stupid.

Stay away from women.

Don't let the little head do the thinking!

Stay away from men.

And the ever popular "if it has tits or tires it'll give you trouble"

And "watch your corn hole bud"

"You are the president of your own professional services firm. You are the CEO of You, Inc., so protect your personal brand."

Eight hours is eight hours. Applies to work and is not to say that you should be a clock watcher but rather that you should be willing to do whatever is asked of you within the bounds of your work contract or the law because you're getting paid the same.

"HALO, but not too low"

If you can't afford to pay cash for it, don't buy it with a credit card.

7th grade math teacher:

"Between me, you, and the gate post, you aren't really trying."

Thanks for calling me on by bullshit, Mr. Thompson.

Together is powerful

Watch out for your cornhole, bud