A woman is naked in front of you laying on the bed.
 

Where do you start?

Eyes?
Conversation?
Kissing?
Sucking toes/fingers?
Tits?
Running your tongue up her belly?

No poll, just not a vag poll.

I bet Castle Doctrine wins the poll.

tv remote

Conversation.

As in "Hi. Uh. Who are you and why are you laying naked on my bed?"

If she doesn't get up screaming and trying to cover herself because she's in the wrong apartment, then we see where things go.

I'd take a selfie.

Video for CP ! That's where I'd start just for proof .

That sounds really sexy! Where is the other girl in the selfie?

Make sure she doesn't have a hairpie or herpes first.

Well, I would kick her out. :D ;):harumph:

That depends. Is she my wife?

Maybe you're in the wrong apartment.

I'd tell your mom to get up and leave..

Has it been two years?

Waiting to see what xztop123 would do

I'd ask Chiefsplanet what to do.

No description of the victim first?

Stewie trying to play out a planeteer fantasy.

Give her a dollar for the bus

If that's the case, then we have a whole bunch of issues. I'm too young for...what do they call that disease? Oh shit.

Ask her if she has a brother.

Not gonna go into too many details, but it would start with getting the crystal plunger from the master bathroom...

If she's hot, impregnate her. If she's ugly get a bj.

fyp:)

I'd hit it first, and ask questions later! #pussyaddict

am I married to her?

"What wrong with a kiss, boy?"

Conversation first, would go like this, OK, Lucccccy you have some explaiiiining to do.

1 My wife put you up to this?
2 Are we on Candid Camera?
3 Who are you?
4 Are you clean? No I mean any STD's ?
5 You ever started a 1910 Model T ? Here's the crank handle.

Look in the next room.

UH OH, I'M ON CANDID CAMERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Double post'd.

Antifreeze?
Posted via Mobile Device

wow
what a stupid thread

Ask her if she has to poop.

Does she have hummus?

I had this happen to me a few time when I was much younger, all 3 times the chick was lying on her stomach when I was called into the bedroom. One was a girlfriend, two of them were friends of my sister. I don't know if it was embarrassment of the take me factor or If I'm just that damn ugly? Lol, either way, still a win.

I'd slowly back out of he room, closing the door behind me. Then I'd call my wife and let her know the situation.

Then I would proceed to the kitchen and make me a plate of leftovers and hope its not my last meal. That bitch is dead for sure when mrs. Sauto gets home
Posted via Mobile Device

Call the wife, if naked answers the phone, happy birthday to you!

Still passing. Women are like ninjas. It's all a set up.
Posted via Mobile Device

:D

Ask her why she isn't in the kitchen?

Your sister was a pimp?

Her friends did tend to like me, didn't hurt she was 3 years older. Oh the memories of being 16 again, when you could buy beer in Kansas at 18. Now I cant seam to drop the wifes panties with a jack hammer, lol!

When I was in high school, my older sister had three good friends that she hung out with a lot. One of them was quite cute and was in my database of crushes.

My sister had a sleepover, and due to some variety of circumstances I ended up eating breakfast alone with this girl. I was so intimidated by her that I didn't say a word, and after a few minutes she stood up, said, "You're weird. You don't make a sound", and left. I didn't score.

In a downward angle from the camera so we look as skinny as possible.

hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Ask for her consent.

Learn what her middle name and favorite color is. /xztop123

Irrelevant as long as the roofies worked...

I tried to reply this post a dozen times, I got nothing other than been there. :D

Most of you give her the $40 required to proceed or snapchat a pic to your bros

Dude...

Her butthole

simple, I'd say


"Ok...look, hurry let's get this out of the way before my wife returns from the kitchen"

LMAO

awesome reference.

LMAO. Sounds like a good plan I should copy.

I'd tell that bitch to make me some blueberry pancakes.

LOL


word.

Check to see if she's alive.

Snapchat.

It doesn't matter where you start. How you finish is whats important.

well then we'll learn in 3 seconds

Does she have a Whataburger?

:D
If I could make her back arched, toes pointed and her entire body shake like she was on a 1000 fingers massage bed in 3 seconds I would be 'The Man'.
I'm afraid I'll never be that good.

hey, i was only talking about myself

who cares what happens to her

Word of mouth is the best form of advertising. It's all about the big picture. :D

good point

roll her over

It doesn't work that way with girls.

If you're really good in bed, then we're never really done with you. If we're never really done with you, we really don't want to encounter our best friends snail trails. Strange snail trails aren't as damaging but odds are you didn't tell a stranger about your sexual dynamo. If you're really good in bed but ****ed up crazy in the head then we'll forever focus on the crazy part. If you're really bad in bed we aren't telling anyone because any woman worth her weight can turn a pig's ear into a silk purse.

The only caveat is if you have a huge dick. We'll fly a banner bragging about that shit.

Shit your smart. You should start a thread with female advice.
Do IT!

Run, the police are on the way and you're getting framed for murder

Is she fat?

Very well put. I get that. Let me put it this way.

I just do the best I can and if once in a blue moon there's a bonus then so be it.

Just do a quick measurement...
http://extremebodyfit.com/wp-content...at-caliper.jpg

Hot Carl.

It would be chock full of questions like, "does no really mean no if she said yes when she was conscious?"

See. You have the knack for this.
Think of how many rednecks you would be helping.
I think it is your mission

rule of thumb:

no always means yes, conscious or not