stumppy |
09-06-2018 08:51 PM |
RIP
I'd like to tip my hat to Burt for his part in the most awkward moment of my entire childhood. All the way up to and on past puberty.
On my very first date, it was with Jackie Griffin and we were both 13 years old. My mother volunteered to drive us to the Drive In to watch the latest Burt Reynolds movie.
I was pretty excited especially considering Jackie was, well, pretty fast and loose for a 13 yr old.
We both sat in the back seat, with a blanket, and patiently waited for it to get dark and the movie to come on. I'm sure you all know the kind of scenarios that played out in my mind since the minute we made the date.
Add in a heavy dose of anxious and nervous thinking about the possibilities of what could happen with my mom being distracted by ole Burt on the big screen.
Everything was going great, up until that famous scene.
Squeal like a pig.
We were watching a fat flabby white man getting ass raped on screen.
Dead silence in the car. Nobody dare wanted to speak other than my mother humbling and bumbling over whatever words she was trying to get out of her mouth. Until she finally said she didn't know thats what this movie was like and decided we should go to different one some other time.
No more hand holding, at least 6 inches of space between us, both staring straight ahead the entire drive back to Jackie's house to drop her off. The car door was opening before we came to a stop. Jackie tossed a see you later over her shoulder on her way out.
We didn't ever call each other again. Never spoke to each other again. Passing in the hallways at school both of us would suddenly find the wall to look very interesting.
To this day that is one of the most awkward embarrassing moments of my life.
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