All just excuses justifying the ultimate selfish act. Lots of people struggle with addiction and don't end their lives. Who hasn't stood on that cliffside and looked down into the abyss? Only the weak and selfish take that next step. I have had two close friends shoot themselves and end it all. Each time it is the families that paid the price for their actions and it never goes away. I know I sound bitter, because I am. I miss my friends and they left me with the guilt of what could I have done?

I am sure Chris's band mates, family, friends and his millions of fans all would have helped him in any way. Such a senseless tragic end for a multi- talented guy. :shake:

Thank you for your judgment

Depression gives no ****s.

Spoonman from last nights gig (with a sweet Deusenburg):

<iframe width="900" height="506" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/UZJvemyci04" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Not a judgment, just facts. Suicide is devastating to the friends and family of the victim. My friend Jeff in High School killed himself right before graduation. He was one of the most popular kids in school. It put a black cloud over our whole graduation and made it into a funeral.

My buddy Big Mike took a bunch of pills and never woke up. We were supposed to hang out that night. Talked to him about 10 pm- he said he was tired and didn't want to go out- an hour later killed himself. Just one word and I would have helped him.

Two years ago this July- my friend Mike shot himself a few blocks from his house. He had a beautiful wife, nice house, loving family, great job. Stopped taking calls and ended his life in his truck.

So if you feel my words of being selfish are harsh it is nothing compared to the pain they caused.

That is what you got from my post?

Maybe you should read the looking down into the abyss part again.

Then I will retype my original response to you:

"You don't understand depression."

Halfcan, I'm not here to fight with you and I am seeing how the loss of your friends stays with you. I too had two best friends kill themselves in a pact. When depression takes over, nothing else matters.

They just played Starlight in Kansas City on Sunday?

Eddie Vedder is getting nervous.

WTF is happening?

Bet you a $1 he wishes he was back with his family and friends.

Sure he's not having a good day today.

Fair statement. I have been so rock bottom that I thought I would never get ahead. Lost Everything and was homeless living in a pos Volkswagon with a leaky rag top raining in on me when I was trying to sleep. Even though what got me to that spot was not my actions, but of others including a cheating wife- I still felt like the biggest loser ever. Hell yeah, I felt like myself and everyone else would be better off if I would take that next step.

Sounds dumb- but what pulled me out of that spiral was a stupid 70's button stuck to the ragtop. It was that lame cliche that was popular back then- I Am Loved. As I lay there with water dripping on me, I stared at the stupid ass button and thought of what my friends had done. Those selfish acts that destroyed their family. I could not do that to my kids. So I pulled myself up and fought for them. I don't even want to think about all the happy times I would have missed.

So back to your point- I guess I don't understand when a rich rock star with Everything in the world at his feet does this. I had Nothing and was able to step back and not be selfish. I don't know his family but my heart goes out to them. Terrible tragedy.

How about choking yourself while trying to achieve the greatest nut ever, any experience there?

It hasn't been confirmed a suicide.

Was it Soundgarden?

This is a valuable lesson that those things don't buy happiness. Maybe for a short while.

=======================================================

One side note, this has triggered a memory that has me now agreeing with you. I run with a large, close knit social group here. One woman, Heather, was my then wife's best friend and quickly became one of mine. All three of us lived together for a year when I first moved to Phoenix. She was so cool. Everyone loved her. And her husband loved her like I've never seen someone love someone. I loved her very much (not physically though she was beautiful too). Just a great friend who I know had a soft spot for me. She was full of energy and a love of life. She was wonderful.

Then she found that she couldn't have children. Fertility medication resulted in a miscarriage. That medication really messed her up mentally too. The depression came on like a freight train and quickly consumed her. And it depressed her even more about not being able to have children. We all knew and were suffering along with her. But none of us could save her.

She was going to behavioral counselling as a result with her husband and mother, who moved out here from Ohio to be with her only child through this, alternated being with her with the counselor. But on this day she went alone.

On this day in January a few years ago, she dressed in all black, went to her session, then got in a cab and driven from Phoenix to the Hoover Damn Bridge. She got out of the cab and just threw herself off the bridge. Poof, she was gone. She had HOURS to think it through and did it without hesitation. In an instant, she left everyone.

Everyone who dropped everything to be there for her through this. Everyone who really, really loved her. Everyone who cared. Everyone who is now much more closer and bonded through this. Everyone who gathers each year to celebrate her life. Even her husbands new partner.

Here is the story: https://www.casino.org/news/suicide-...s-dirty-secret

I'm feeling your pain now Halfcan and my apologies if I came on indignant towards you. That photo haunts me and I haven't looked at it for a long time. That is NOT the woman I saw in the grocery store the night before. I know it's her, but I don't recognize her. It is so sad to see her like this. I wish I had never seen this photo. I cannot fathom this. I cannot fathom the fortitude to follow through.

I wish you weren't dead Heather. But I will never judge you over this because you are at peace now and with your child. And that is what we all wanted for you. I find solace in that I knew you well enough to mourn like I do.

And looks like it's been confirmed as a suicide by the coroner.

Carry on.