If anyone rolls up with their underwear on backwards - either run...or get the money first.

Next month will be 40 years since I graduated high school. A year from now will be the 40th anniversary of my joining the Navy.

I wore a Chiefs hat yesterday that's older than most of my coworkers.

Yeah, **** you.

I'm old enough that I can understand the "old person sleep schedule", which is going to sleep shortly after sunset, and waking up before sunrise. I don't actually do it because everyday life doesn't allow it, but I can totally see myself keeping those hours after retirement.

Just woke up from my nap what did I miss

I set the lawn sprinklers to go off at 9 pm on Halloween.

I'm getting more nigh owl all the time. My grandpa was a night owl. He'd **** around half the night and wake up at 9.

When you are old, all the compliment you get come with qualifiers.
Like:
"You're looking good! for a guy your age

"That guy's in great shape for an old guy

Yeah, I've always been a night owl. And that hasn't changed a bit. I love getting up at the crack of noon.

Good those little bastards need to get a job instead of expecting something for free.

WTF, good Saturday morning cartoons are non-existent

I hate the new country music and I hate people who make that heart sign with their fingers and thumb..

Well I guess if you count getting up to pee three or four times I’m kind of a night owl too

Supper

ROFL

The ****ing heart hands. I have an irrational hatred of that garbage. I despise it.

https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/pict...pictureid=2379

My granddaughter does it GFY

Oh I never miss supper I’ve finally learned how to work the new electric stove

He meant except when your granddaughter does it

Kids do all sorts of dumb things that adults shouldn't.

Like have an irrational hatred over something that has no effect on your life whatsoever.

And pick their nose.

That's no shit. There's a local station that plays shit that sounds like some unholy combination of country and grunge. It's absolutely vile.

I use my vitamin organizer to tell me which day it is. Useful since retiring.

Hey, I said it was irrational. Now make some heart hands and hold them real still...

You also said other things but hey there's a squirrel lets ride bikes.

I play golf with a gentleman that is 94 years old. He plays 3 times a week. He told me he's thinking of quitting at 95. His wife said to him, "if you quit golf then what in the hell are you going to do?"

I never wanted to be an old man. But if I am as spry as this guy is at 95 it might not be so bad! I use him as an excuse to play golf as much as possible. I tell my wife if she wants me to live a long life I gotta play golf at least 3 times a week!

If picking your nose isn't a necessity you aren't old yet. Especially during the dry winter months.

Hahahah! I have a Chiefs hat from 1989 season like Marty wore. People ask me if I found it in a museum.

I have a lot of clothing that went out of style, came back in style, went out of style and is coming back in style.

Proof that my life is a circle.

Why do young Japanese women always make peace signs in photos?

https://www.intrepidtravel.com/adven...peace-sign.jpg

Yoko Ono

Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

LMAO
Damn

59 years for me. Heck, we had a 19" black and white tv and we were high class! :rockon:

So if we had dropped a third one, they would hold up three fingers?

It’s because we like American white men.
Less these days but still.

That means I've missed a lot of signals at tourist sites. I hope I didn't offend those women.

Even if you did we’re trained to suppress it.
But sleep with one eye open.

Anyone have a rubber band around their wallet?

Senior citizens are the fastest growing demographic for STD rates.
You’d be better to have a rubber in your wallet.

I'm 34.
Am I old?

Good God. I've practically grown up on this site.

Anyone have a rubber band around their scrotum? Not a fan of the genital man bun, but I can’t afford a plastic surgeon. Age & gravity make strange bedfellows.

I'm in Papio...you know, the OTHER side of the tracks...:evil:

This thread smells like stale piss and unrealized dreams.

In my early 20's I was kind of horrified to find out that pubic hair turns grey.

Now that the process has started, well, let's say it is what it is.

Because they want to love you long time, but not if you're too buku so I'm out

...with a knick knack paddy wack give a dog a bone.....

Ring a bell anyone?

Did she post bail?

Nope. This old man came rolling home.

This old man he played two. He played knick knack on my shoe...

Stop getting behind the wheel please.

I got the reins, you push the wheel.

I've begun wishing the Led Zeppelin drummer played a little quieter.

I think if we're all being honest here, Werther's candies are really tasty.

I wish the people in front of me at a concert would sit the **** down.

All the musicians I like are either dead or too old to tour anymore

I get up once on some nights but I want to know about this passing out while peeing thing. My son said he read something about old men passing out in the middle of the night while taking a leak. And sometimes they injure themselves. Wtf? Is this the ****ed up shit I have to look forward to as I get older?

I had a work trip to Lil Wayne at the Colisseum. Chillest concert I've ever been to. People were literally moving so others could see.

I go home waxing poetic about my city and my daughter says "Isn't Lil Wayne's audience like really really old now?"

Geezer rap.
Im still not talking to her.

The other day this young guy that I work with was making fun of my shoes calling them dad shoes. I said look junior, I’m older than your dad what do you expect me to wear?

Ask your doctor about Tamsulosin

Couldn’t tell you about that but sometimes my wife falls asleep during sex I just very politely pull her nightgown back down when I’m done.

I've been told I have really exquisite firm tight balls like a 20 year old, quite nice for a guy about to turn 60.

I owe it all to wearing bikini briefs to keep my junk from sagging into old man balls.

Korn?

Oh no not falling for that trap again that urologist is into some freaky stuff

Ewww wtf, we don't need to be hearing about all that

You're doing it wrong .

Well of course. But I thought that when I was young.

Now get off my lawn!

Beats all don’t it. I just recently found out the kids aren’t into Tom Jones anymore either

I just got a new pair of slip ons. Love them! My only other pair are suede loafers. I will never tie shoe laces again! (except my hiking and fishing boots, dont count)

I prefer lemon drops to wet my whistle. I never leave home without putting a few in my dress shorts

Dress shorts? Are you sure you’re old enough to be posting in this thread?

**** this being old shit. I'm 51 and I just played basketball last night against guys that were anywhere from 20 to 30 years younger than me. Hell, my son, who is 26, has friends that text me when they want to hoop. I may not be young and as quick as I used to be but I'll be damned if I let my age hold me back.

Sir one more outburst like that and you’re not getting your pudding!

I once asked Skip if old guys get grey pubes many years ago and I got a pretty angry response and a barrage of neg reps from him.

Ha ha, that sounds like skip. I kinda miss that guy. He was such a directv fan boy. Hell, I've had both dish and dtv and I can say they are the same.

You're there when people at public places start holding the door open when they see you coming. It takes a bit to sink in

I think they pretty much are. Skip was pretty easy to get riled up back in the day. I’m actually the same exact age as you and my son is also 26. I play basketball with the younger guys at work and end up wearing them out because I can still run like a rabbit and they get tired of chasing me around.

My high school grandkids won’t play basketball with my 61 year old wife because they say she’s too rough.
sec

I like both the traditional hard candy Weather's as well as the filled candy version too. I think the Werther’s chews are what we graduate to once our teeth finally give way.

Geez my balls hit the water when I shit at Kohls