I believe I should rethink the Diaz for center option...Given the Chiefs playbook and tendency to run Grunhart butt right and left...All backs would end up looking like bennett..stopping after running directly into the glutious of our center.

Now JOhn! You just earned yourself a starting WR position pal. http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

KPhobia,
You should be able to make the team easy enough
:D

[This message has been edited by JOhn (edited 12-19-2000).]

Here is a tentative roster, as far as I have been able to tell.

Bwana and Mi: Please feel free to correct as necessary. I'm just the QB—I can't catch it, run it or decide who does either. I just throw it.

Team owner/punter: Mi_chief_fan
GM: Bwana
Coach: Denzel and/or Gene Hackman
QB: Mark M
RB: FB-Bob Dole
HB-Luz (you do know where to line up, right?)
WR: KPhobia, JOhn
OL: Titus, Wolfman, Russ
TE: Mark Kilgore (sorry, had to go there).
PK: Dartgod
Waterboy: alanm

PR/KR: mlyonsd
MLB: Chief Priority
SS: Iowanian
Whiny b!tch with no good input in any way: Packfan.

MM
~~Trying to set the roster for opening day.

------------------
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
--George W. Bush

[This message has been edited by Mark M (edited 12-19-2000).]

[This message has been edited by Mark M (edited 12-19-2000).]

Phil: As far as I can see, you're on. I can recall several rather heated debates between you and pack-eeeeer. That seems to be about all it takes.

Mark Pencil me in at WR.


(working on my acting, and neck jerking.)

BTW you'all can just call me Brock.

[This message has been edited by JOhn (edited 12-19-2000).]

I nominate GAZ for DC...if and only if he is a strong believer in saftey blitzing.

Anyone have any med experience? We need a team doc. (A team lawyer wouldn't be a bad idea with this crew as well) Keep in mind that this is a low budget outfit, the pay ain't great, but the hours are long.

KPhobia: In order to assess whether or not you qualify for the the idiots All Idiot team, I have to ask you two questions.

1. Is Daniel Snyder a viable alternative to GM the Chiefs (assuming CP hadnt signed his recent deal).

2. Does Green Bay win SB XXI without Desmond Howards performance - the SB MVP?

[This message has been edited by KCTitus (edited 12-19-2000).]

how about Dr McGillocuttie(sp?) very affordable..peppermint will cure most ailments.

[This message has been edited by Iowanian (edited 12-19-2000).]

Pete: If I can get is past the owner, that's a good idea.

~Wondering if it will go with all the homebrew I plan to stock before, during and after games?~

Bwana - I was pre-med for 2 years and now I'm a biology major..does that count for anything? If not, I'd like to apply for a cheerleading position.

--Shannon--

I just can’t believe how stupid you Chiefs fans are. Year after year they put up an inferior product and you mindlessly gobble it up. Carl Peterson is responsible not only for the sad state of affairs at Arrowhead but he is also responsible for the moral decline of Western society. In addition to that there is 67% likelihood that he was the gunman on the grassy knoll. And he was seen smoking right before the Hindenberg blew up. Coincidence? Not likely. But do you twits have the gray matter to see what is so readily apparent to the rest of the country? Of course not! You’ve been brainwashed and de-sensitized to accept mediocrity. You dorks still think you’re the “BEST FANS” in the NFL, When clearly that title belongs to the Arizona Cardinals. I feel it is my duty to continue to go on and on and on and on and on and on and on until you fools see the error of your ways.

Consider that my application for the job of practice squad Quarter-Pac<BR>

Smltheppl: Sounds like you have the position of team doc to me as long as you give Dr. Magillacutti (sp) a little time as well. http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/smile.gif

Uh - I have to answer no to those questions knowing it may not put me on the team. But - at least you know I'm not going to waffle on my stance every 3 or 4 minutes....

AZChief can be the lawyer, right?

RCGChief: Very nice.....perhaps you can be our PR man as well?

sml,

I'm thinking the cheerleaders should come from the Warrensburg area...a million dollar ranch...

An intelligent and angelic figure like yourself is probably more suited for public relations specialist...and maybe massage therapist..when would you like to interview?..choke choke gag...choking on my own BS http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/smile.gif

KPhobia: No answers to those questions put you firmly on the starting squad of the All Idiot Team. It's knowledgable fans like Ken that believe both of those questions can be answered with a 'yes'.

Find a spot for Phil.

Bwana - Not a problem.<P>

LOL Iowanian

chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp

Post #181 is me practicing to be Kenny.

Double post. I guess since I'm an idiot, it's okay.

MM
~~Hates it when this happens.

[This message has been edited by Mark M (edited 12-19-2000).]

Titus--
You are a good man. Keep proving Packfan wrong (not hard to do). Never mind what was originally here. I was wrong.

JOhn--
You are on the roster as the slot WR. But shouldn't our GM be keeping track of this? Get to work, Bwana! :D

MM
~~Changing the facts

------------------
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
--George W. Bush

[This message has been edited by Mark M (edited 12-19-2000).]

Mark: You mean I have to work!? I thought all I had to do was walk around in $1500 suits, spin things and cuss at people. Hmmmm

Mark M -

If we are truly "honoring" Packfan with this All Idiot Team, it would be in our best interest to adhere to his transparent tactic of "selective fact disclosure".... In light of that - #184 should go away never to be spoken of again..... :D

[This message has been edited by KPhobia (edited 12-19-2000).]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Helvetica, verdana, ariel">quote:</font><HR> I feel it is my duty to continue to go on and on and on and on and on and on and on until you fools see the error of your ways. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Excuse me RCG, but I believe you forgot and 'on.'

Kphobia-
Absolutely brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!! You sir, clearly have a better understanding of Ken’s drivel than I do. I bow to your greatness.<BR>

Sorry Bwana!

But if it makes you feel better, we'll all call you King, find some fat-a$$ed reporter to kiss your butt (Gretz already has a job, so we need someone else) and blame the QB (me, in this case) when you make bad personnel decisions.

As long as you fill the seats, I'm sure Mi won't care what our record is.

MM
~~Using the Chiefs as a blueprint.

Has anyone SEEN packfool lately??


Omigod!! You guys killed Kenny!! You bastards.

Johnny - always wanted to say that.

Mi: "As long as you fill the seats, I'm sure Mi won't care what our record is."

If this is the case, I would like a ten year contract extention now.

KPhobia--
Taken care of. ;)

MM
~~Ignoring facts in order to keep in line with Packfan.

[This message has been edited by Mark M (edited 12-19-2000).]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Helvetica, verdana, ariel">quote:</font><HR>Kphobia-
Absolutely brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!! You sir, clearly have a better understanding of Ken’s drivel than I do. I bow to your greatness.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thank you, Rod - it's about damn time someone noticed and appreciated my greatness.

I hope you don't mind if I cut & paste this quote every 3 or 4 hours just to remind people around here. http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

JC-Johnny: Not to worry, not unlike a bad rash, it will keep paying us a visit if not treated with the correct means.

Sorry,
And on...<BR>

Cool Mark - I knew we wouldn't have to twist your arm very hard....

Wait! Wait! You forgot about me! I used to play right defensive tackle on my little league team! I was darn good too.

I think I have all the qualifications too: 5'7", 160lbs, broken neck held together with titanium steel plating and screws, and no balls. (Damn that Ginzu knife!)

What do you say?<BR>

Fly - if you can jump offsides prior to the ball being snapped more than twice per game, you're in.

MarkM: re: #184...you are correct. I looked it up and it did happen in SB V.

I went ahead and reworded the question. There's no doubt that Desmond Howard's performance in the playoffs and SB made the difference in winning the SB for Green Bay that year. That's the point I was trying to make in response to 'FA rejects dont win in the playoffs'.

Feel free to quote me all you like Mr. Phobia.
I am truly humbled by the way you captured the essence of Ken. While I tried to recreate him, you explained all that one would ever need know without all the excessive verbiage. A literary masterpiece if ever there was one. <BR>

As owner/punter, let me illustrate my "commitment to (financial) excellence."

We make money, it's excellent.

Titus--
I have edited the post to reflect that point. Sorry to do that to you...you are 100% correct on the point you were trying to make. Can you feel the love? :D

The newly updated roster (since Bwana is too busy looking for rookies to cuss out):

Team owner: Mi_chief_fan
GM: Bwana
Coach: Denzel and/or Gene Hackman
Offense:
QB: Mark M
FB: Bob Dole
HB: Luz (you do know where to line up, right?)
WR: KPhobia, JOhn
OL: Titus, Wolfman, Russ
TE: Mark Kilgore (sorry, had to go there).
PK: Dartgod
Defense:
PR/KR: mlyonsd
MLB: Chief Priority
SS: Iowanian
DT: The Fly
Punter: Mi_chief_fan
Off-the-field personnel:
Waterboy: alanm
Cheerleader: dawsonpa
PR Man: RCG Chief
Masseuse: Smltheppl
Legal counsel: AZ Chief
Tackling dummy: Packfan

We need DBs in a bad way! Also, a pass-rushing DE.

MM
~~Obviously wants to be QB and GM .

------------------
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
--George W. Bush

I wish to see an XFL'esque salary structure here...Base pay with incentive bonus...financial encouragement for the team to excell.

Bob Dole now feels that we need to come up with catchy names for our "player groupings."

Bob Dole submits "Big Penguin" for the one-back offensive set. That ought to put fear in opposing defenses.

How about "Hungry Hippo" for two TE sets?
"Screaming Fleas" for our 3 WR grouping.

MM
~~Has too much time on his hands today.

------------------
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
--George W. Bush

Dole - I think you've just begun another topic. Better create a new one because I have plenty of ideas that would just clutter this ingenious topic.

Iowanian: This is a low budget outfit, but if you hit hard and are extra mean and nasty out there, there is an extra pint of docs, a case of brew and a date with our center in it for you.

Mark M,

What happened to Diaz as Center?

Also, I just opened up my playbook and there aren't any plays for an H Back. What gives?

Luz
the interesting thing is, I don't remember being rude to packfan... i just asked him simple questions...

Luz: being rude to packfan = asking him questions he cant answer.

ok

Luz
i never took prepubescent psychology 101...

Hey, no problems playing DT... I can jump offsides all you want me too... Just give me the finger... I mean the signal... ;)<BR>

Luz--
If Cameron were center, I would never leave the line of scrimmage . . . just sit there barking out signals. . . or just barking in general, for that matter.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Helvetica, verdana, ariel">quote:</font><HR>Bark like a dog for me!
--Bill Murray<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

MM
~~Creating wood.

------------------
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
--George W. Bush

We'd definately lead the league in Delay of game penalties.

Titus,

You made the team for the Howard comments, which were "If it wasnt for Desmond Howard, the Packers wouldnt have won the Super Bowl".

It your opinion, it didnt matter that the team had the league's MVP (Favre) or five pro bowl players on it. It didnt matter that they secured home field advantage in a stadium where they had never lost a playoff game. No, it was all because of a kick returner. Favre, Reggie White, Freeman, LeRoy Butler, ect. They didnt need those guys. All they needed was Desmond Howard.
Brilliant Titus!

And you wonder why I think you are an idiot!

Congratulations!<P>

It's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.........

Hello Ken

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Helvetica, verdana, ariel">quote:</font><HR>It your opinion<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

UHHHH, DUHHHH, i is pakful, uhhhhhh i dunno no fotbol, i jes waches all u imbreads, uh, embreads an says how i make yous bad team goody.

Mark M,

"keep proving me wrong...." OK, the rodeo in wisconsin, I was wrong, but what else??
How about something Chief/NFL related?

You guys always say that then when I call you on the carpet, you come up empty? Why?

Hey Bwana, How are things going today?

Things are well. We are trying to get this team ironed out so we can hit the field.

Packfan: you're wrong.

Please provide the post where I said any of those things--topic and post # or just cut and paste it.

Please dont make me slam your sorry a$$ again. It's too easy.

Find the one that says CP should be replaced by daniel Snyder.

Ken - several of us have called you on your ignorance - even recently. However, you just ignore those posts like they don't even exist.

Mi: Here you go...

Post #62, Topic: The reason we lose to teams that arent that good is...

As far as GM's, Ron Wolf, Bill Pollian, Parcells, Jimmy Johnson, Daniel Snyder, there are a lot of guys.

In response to the question of who would be a viable replacement GM for KC.

Wait, wait,wait!! I go away for a few hours to pick up trash and this thing has exploded (kinda like my fully loaded trash truck! :D)

The roster is wrong. You forgot the hardest working blue collar on the team. I want to be a free safety. That way when Packfool is standing on the sideline GM ing I'll have a perfectly legit reason to lay his blubber lips out. Re-do it Mark. I'm your man at FS!!!

this is for all blue collar sanitation workers around the world over!

Okay Ken:
You said Lambeau has been filled since 1960. I was at a game in '89. It had at least 20,000 no shows. You never answered me on what the deal was. If Packer fans are so great, where were they that day? You never gave me a response.

You say Elvis is putting up numbers because he passes so often (some truth there). Myself and others point out the fact that opposing teams know this and play pass defense, yet Elvis still puts up the numbers. You have no responseas to why.

You constantly do this. You think you're talking football, but your just giving your opinion. When we give you stats and facts to contradict your opinion, you back-track and contradict yourself. I don't know why we bother proving you wrong—you do it to yourself.

I showed some of your comments to my father-in-law last night. He grew up in Monroe, WI, and his family has had Packer's season tickets since 1966. They have missed games due to weather, poor record, etc. He was so pi$$ed that some idiot like you claims to be a Pack fan (when you obviously don't know shit) that he wanted to know if he could get your address somewhere. The guy doesn't get that upset often. I told him not to worry . . . all of us here know your deal.

If he sees you for what you are, then I see no reason to waste my time with you.

BTW, your job as tackling dummy starts in spring. Better pound the Kielbasa. Old Milwaukee and cheddar to get ready.

MM
~~Wonders why he is wasting his time.

------------------
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
--George W. Bush

[This message has been edited by Mark M (edited 12-19-2000).]

Wis Chief--
Here ya go!

The newly updated roster (since Bwana is too busy looking for a new $1500 suit):

Team owner: Mi_chief_fan
GM: Bwana
Coach: Denzel and/or Gene Hackman
Offense:
QB: Mark M
FB: Bob Dole
HB: Luz (you do know where to line up, right?)
WR: KPhobia, JOhn
OL: Titus, Wolfman, Russ
Mark M's hand warmer/Center: Cameron Diaz's a$$.
TE: Mark Kilgore (sorry, had to go there).
PK: Dartgod
Defense:
PR/KR: mlyonsd
MLB: Chief Priority
SS; WisChief
FS: Iowanian
DT: The Fly
Punter: Mi_chief_fan
Off-the-field personnel:
Waterboy: alanm
Cheerleader: dawsonpa
PR Man: RCG Chief
Masseuse: Smltheppl
Legal counsel: AZ Chief
Resident dumbfuck: Packfan

We still need DBs in a bad way! Also, a pass-rushing DE.

[This message has been edited by Mark M (edited 12-19-2000).]

And Cameron Diaz at center, snapping to Mark M.

Mi--
Changes duely noted and made.

MM
~~How in the hell could he forget Cameron?

Mark: Found the suit but went $400 over budget. You now have a GM sporting a $1900 suit, but not to worry, I will look better yelling, cussing and ranting at draft picks because of it. (hope this doesn't get me in the **** house with owner mi)

I will make it up to the team in the beer department. http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

I can hear the Stadium Announcer now:

"Now running onto the field from the University of San Francisco, Wide Receiver Phil Kloster!!!!

mark
*************
seeing if they get it

Bwana,
We may have to cut costs for it. We'll be firing some vendors, and you may need to sell progams to pay for you suit.

Just think MI - coming up under center, you can start humming 'baby got back' and Cameron will start her 'butt-outta-control-dance' from Charlies Angels.

Gonna hafta call a TO.

Can the punter come up under center?

So sorry. I read wrong. Mark M gets 'the dance.'

As the owner/punter, I DEMAND to get the punt under center. http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/mad.gif

"Bwana,
We may have to cut costs for it. We'll be firing some vendors, and you may need to sell progams to pay for you suit."

Not a problem, did I mention I had my teeth cleaned as well so I look damn good walking the sidelines and yelling at 1st rounders?"

Programs..............programs!<BR>

I don't get it, Kilgore.

It's good to be the QB.

Although I don't think I can call a time out due to wood.

Updated roster (Bwana is trying to fit his suit under the salary cap, so he'll be busy):

Team owner: Mi_chief_fan
GM: Bwana
Coach: Denzel and/or Gene Hackman
Offense:
QB: Mark M
FB: Bob Dole
HB: Luz
WR: KPhobia, JOhn
OL: Titus, Wolfman, Russ
Mark M's hand warmer/Dance partner: Cameron Diaz's a$$.
TE: Mark Kilgore
PK: Dartgod
Defense:
PR/KR: mlyonsd
MLB: Chief Priority
DT: The Fly
DE: gaz (since he hasn't chimed in yet, thought I'd give him a spot).
CB: htismaque
SS: WisChief
FS: Iowanian
Punter: Mi_chief_fan (and yes, you can line up under center.)
Off-the-field personnel:
Waterboy: alanm
Cheerleader: dawsonpa
PR Man: RCG Chief
Masseuse: Smltheppl
Legal counsel: AZ Chief
Media Guide Manager: Misplaced Chiefs Fan
Clueless a$$hole: Packfan

We're almost there! Just another WR, OL, CB, DT and DL! Maybe another tight end {where's morphius when you need him? :D}

MM
~~Keeps finding new positions for Packfan . . . and thinking up a few for Cameron! :D



[This message has been edited by Mark M (edited 12-19-2000).]

"Keeps finding new positions for Packfan . . . and thinking up a few for Cameron!"

LMAO :D <BR>

What with him extolling the virtues of the bubble bath, wouldn't Gaz serve the team better as some form of conditioning manager? He could make sure shots of tequila rose are set around the whirlpools after the game.