Can't believe the "what an idiot" gif hasn't been posted yet.

Love your stories RM. A true CP icon and treasure.

The first time my 01 Jeep was stolen was around 2012. They found it a couple days before the 30 day window where insurance pays out. MFers stripped all the wiring out of it.

I thought for sure insurance would total it but the wiring harness was only a couple hundred bucks so it was all labor cost. Took the shop 3 months to get it rewired. The guy absolutely hated that job. I'd call every week for a status and he'd rage about what a PITA it was.

The couple years after while I was still in KC every time I drove by his shop I'd lay on the horn and wave.

It was stolen again a few years later and a 3rd attempt was made after that. I'm still rolling it like a maniac to this day but its got all kinds of electrical gremlins. Sometimes all the instruments will go out and I just pound on the dash and they come back on. Sometimes the windows work etc.

I also had a '78 Cutlass stolen which I found myself and took back. The steering column was ripped out, smelled like Newports but my golf clubs were still in the trunk.

I also had another G-body stolen and stripped in KC but thats all I'll say about that one.

I was walking down this sidewalk one day and where those 2 yellow posts at the entrance of the lot are, there used to be 2 large boulders

As I was walking by some lady floored it backing out of a parking space and high centered herself on one of the boulders. Like the car was balancing on the rock with all 4 wheels off the ground

Its the reason they removed the boulders and put up the posts (probably sued the city)

Theres also a guy in there lurching around that will boot your car if you park and step one foot off the lot

https://i.imgur.com/Nm7LodE.jpg

Raises hand. On 54 between ElDorado Springs and Collins.

In high school I was driving my first car, a 1974 Ford Maverick Grabber. We weren't allowed to leave school grounds once we arrived, but a lot of people would leave for lunch. One day me and a female student bailed out to get high at lunch. I was doing a turn around in the post office parking lot and some woman backed out of her spot right into the passenger side of my car. I stopped and got out, walked around the back of the car and only saw a slight dent in the rear quarter. At the time, the girl I was with had opened the passenger door and was leaning out looking back. The damage was barely noticeable so I told the lady not to worry about it so I could get back to school on time.

Later that day, as I'm walking out to my car to head home, my friend who rode to school with me is standing by my car asking what the hell happened. The passenger door was caved in from where the woman hit me. I never saw it because the chick with me hade the door open when I walked around the car from the back.

That was fun explaining that one to my parents.

That's some serious redneck stuff there.

****in goats
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Mine was light blue 🥰

Another one was wen I was driving my dad's 1970 F-150. It had snowed and we were doing donuts in a parking lot. I decided I was going to drive the truck over a pile of plowed snow. When I did, the battery (which was not tied down) bounced out of it's tray and into the fan blades. Pushed the fan into the radiator which then tore up the radiator. I told my dad I hit a patch of ice and slid into a curb. He bought it and took the heat since he hadn't secured the battery. He still doesn't know the truth to this day.

I remember once when I was young and really sick. Drove to the dr's office and when left, I drove over one of those concrete parking stops. Car was high sided, stuck there. Don't remember how I got it free but it sucked.

A few years ago, my son was the manager at a Papa Murphy's location. His area manager told him to take some supplies to another location in town. It was icy that day so he should have told his boss to get bent. But he did it and for some strange reason, rather than taking main streets, he chose to go through an area of town called Potwin. That neighborhood is full of big roundabouts and brick streets (gotta maintain the historical bricks....blah, blah, blah). He came in a little too fast and slid right into the roundabout and totally messed up the bottom end of his car. It wasn't a nice car or anything (can't remember which car he had at the time....might have been the late 90s Nissan Maxima) so it wasn't really worth trying to fix it. But he had called me and told me he wrecked it into the roundabout. So, I came over to check the damage and help him get the car moved out of the way.

While we were trying to get my son's car moved, I could see in the distance another car coming. I started waving my hands in the air trying to get them to slow down but to no avail. We had managed to get my son's car out of the middle of the road right before this but the 2nd car did the exact same thing. Slid on the icy bricks and right into the roundabout. That car was a nice newer Volkswagen Jetta. And right after it hit, I saw oil coming out from underneath. Yeah, he busted his oil pan, for sure. And who knows what else?
Ice on bricks is the worst.

FYP

I just remembered another one.

In 2010, my oldest son, who was about 17 at the time, was working and being responsible and wanted a new car. His best buddy's sister's bf worked at a rental car place and they had a 99 Acura TL they were selling for about 3K. It only had about 144k miles on it. It had all the extras (leather seats, gps, etc.) and was still in good shape.

So, we got the car and all he had to do was make payments to us until it was paid off. He absolutely fell in love with that car. And honestly, I was kind of fond of it, myself. So, 6 days later we are getting packed and ready to leave town for a camping trip to Colorado. His cousin was going with us on this trip. She lived in Virginia and just flew in to town that day.

So, my son, a couple of friends, and his cousin are all driving around in his new car. Well, you know how teenagers are not the best drivers because they lack experience and don't always pay enough attention? Yeah, that's pretty much what happened. He ran a stop sign and hit another car going 30-40mph. Totaled his car that he hadn't even had for a week.

On the bright side, insurance paid out about twice what we paid for it. So, the remaining money was used to buy another car (after the Acura was paid off). He ended up with a 97 Nissan Maxima. The boy was devastated but it was a good life lesson, I'd say.

I worked at an auto parts store on Hickman Mills Drive back in the early 80's. There were two entrances to our parking lot, with a small ditch separating the two. On the side of the ditch facing our store, there were several wooden posts to keep cars from going into the ditch.

Someone leaving our store one day was driving a station wagon and backed over one of those posts. They kind of pushed it down at an angle towards the ditch. When they pulled forward, the bumper caught the top of the post and straightened it back up to the point that the rear of the car was now partially lifted off the ground. The rear tires were barely touching and all they could do is spin the tires, creating a cloud of smoke. It was hilarious. We had to go out there with a hydraulic jack to lift the car and get the post out from under it.

Not a lot of damage to the car (I think it was an early 70s Chrysler Newport), but my buddy was driving it and I was in the front seat with him and another guy was passed out in the back seat. About 2am and we’re on a country road heading home. We come into a 90 degree turn that the driver fails to negotiate and we wind up in the ditch taking out 3 metal fence posts.

Buddy manages to pull the car back up to the road and takes off. We get about a quarter of a mile and realize we’ve got a blown back tire. So we stop and stumble around and jack the car up and attempt to change the tire.

While we’re doing this, we hear something strange coming up the road behind us…pretty soon our friend that was passed out in the back seat comes stumbling up the road towards us. I guess when we ran off the road, the back door came open and this poor ****er slid out of the car! I’ve pondered to this day how he never broke his neck!

We went back and fixed the guys fence the next day. Somebody was always driving through it.
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i was parked in the lot at the post office, and i had had a particularly draining day at work

i was parked right in front of a lamp post

turned the engine on and gunned it and it put a huge ****ing dent in the side of the front wheel well LMAO

put the car in reverse first, dummy