Ohhhh god it's Elway. He's a-firin' his laser.

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Fortunately that only leads to a field goal, thanks to a Chiefs defense that has been hitting it's stride of late and now HERE COMES TERRELL DAVIS.

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That leads to a short Tim Hall TD pitch, and the Chiefs have the lead. Denver gets another field goal, and then just before the half, something bad happens:

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Joe breaks his ****ing ribs and it's Bernie Kosar time. Just great. HOWEVER, Bernie is ON FIRE, completes 10 passes in a row and Terrell Davis does the rest:

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14-9, Chiefs! The defense holds AGAIN and it's TERRELL ****ING DAVIS!

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21-9, and it's very clear at this point who the REAL best team in the AFC is. Elway, however, will have his say.

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21-16. The Chiefs need to run this clock out. They can't, because Troy Brown is a ****ing dicklick.

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Not to worry, though, because Todd Sauerbrun has a GOLDEN LEG.

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Coffin corner, bitch. Elway isn't taking the Donks 95 yards. He takes them about 30, though, and on 4th and 3....

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AND THAT'S GAME. The Chiefs complete the season sweep of Denver, and now have to hope they drop 2 of their last 3. Montana's ribs are sore, but he's fine. Big ups to Bernie Kosar, who completes 11 of 12 passes for 119 yards in relief of the GOAT.

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The Chiefs beat the Chargers, Steelers and Colts to run their record to 12-4.

The Broncos beat Green Bay, but LOSE to the Vikings. They play the Chargers to end the season.

IF THE BRONCOS LOSE TO THE CHARGERS, the CHIEFS are the #1 seed.

CAN THE CHARGERS PULL THIS OFF??!

YES VANOVER, YES

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NOOOO WHY ELAM. WHYYYYYYYYY. 61 ****ING YARDS?!?

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WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SAN DIEGO. YOU PRICKS.

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Oh well. With that powder blue result, the Broncos clinch the #1 seed at 13-3.

Joe Montana: 3,079 yards, 22 TD, 19 INT - 30th in passing yards and last in INT - is it time to hang it up?
Terrell Davis: 355 carries, 2,044 yards, 22 TD
Keith Cash: 68 rec, 749 yards, 6 TD
Eric Moulds: 50 rec, 724 yards, 6 TD
Desmond Howard: 45 rec, 569 yards, 3 TD
Troy Brown: 34 rec, 361 yards, 1 TD

DT: 73 tackles, 14 TFL, 19 sacks
Neil Smith: 66 tackles, 14 TFL, 16 sacks
Pellom McDaniels: 5 sacks

Zach Thomas: 72 tackles, 9 TFL, 3 sacks
Mark Fields: 68 tackles, 5 TFL, 1 sack, 1 TD

Deion Sanders: 68 tackles, 3 INT, 7 PD, 1 TD
Dale Carter: 69 tackles, 4 INT, 9 PD

Chris Boniol: 19/21 FG
Todd Sauerbrun: 47 punts, 44.4 net avg, 18 inside the 20

Passing leader: Drew Bledsoe, NE - 4,787 yards, 28 TD
Pass TD leader: Troy Aikman, DAL - 43
Receiving leader: Carl Pickens, CIN - 99 rec, 1382 yards, 10 TD
Rec TD leader: Shannon Sharpe, DEN - 12
Sack leader: Robert Young, LAR - 23.5

Reggie Slack enjoys a breakout year for the Bills, with 4,592 yards and 26 TD
Steve Young smoothly transitions to Bengal life with 4,479 yards and 33 TD
Jim Kelly does the same in Atlanta with 4,656 yards and 30 TD
Rich Gannon throws for 3,608 yards and 32 TD, but the 49ers miss the playoffs

Rookie Eddie George runs for 1,119 yards and 11 TD on 3.4 YPC for the Eagles, winning NFC OROY honors.
Donnell Bennett runs for 2.8 YPC on 170 carries for Washington LMAO

Rookie Ray Lewis piles up 140 tackles and 10 PD for AFC DROY honors.
Rookie Tedy Bruschi piles up 126 tackles, 3 INT and 8 PD for NFC DROY honors.

The Great WR Class of 1996 plays out so:

Terrell Owens BAL: 1,014 yards, 6 TD
Terry Glenn TEX: 992 yards, 9 TD (OROY)
Eddie Kennison DEN: 943 yards, 8 TD
Muhsin Muhammad TB: 939 yards, 11 TD
Marvin Harrison ATL: 882 yards, 9 TD
Eric Moulds KC: 724 yards, 6 TD
Joe Horn WAS: 716 yards, 5 TD
Keyshawn Johnson JAX: 51 rec, 595 yards, 3 TD

lol this ain't your mother's colts team, fam. Jeff George opens the game by punting the ball...

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To Deion. LMAO. That's so great. The Chiefs ram Supercharged Turbo Terrell Davis right down Indy's throat.

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That results in a 7-0 Chiefs lead. The Colts punt again, and with Desmond Howard injured, Deion is returning punts. Let's see what he does...

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DEION YOU reerun. The Colts get an easy TD off that muff and it's 7-7. Not to worry though. I have SUPERCHARGED TURBO TERRELL DAVIS.

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Bye, bitches! Believe it or not, the Colts actually tie the game before halftime. I have only 23 yards passing, too. Joe Montana needs to get that 40-year old ass in gear. And he does.

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ERIC MOULDS, BABY! Big knock, rookie, BIG KNOCK! Ray Crockett done got toasted. The Colts get a field goal, and now I have a chance to put this game away. Joe Montana sees single man coverage and audibles.

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Ray Crockett is being toasted today. Rookie Moulds is going off. The Colts get another field goal, and it's 28-20. I have to run it out, but it's third and 12...

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PLAYOFF JOE MONTANA, BITCHES. Never doubt the goat. The Chiefs go into Indy and take care of business, 35-20.

Montana throws for 180 yards in the second half and finishes 14-20 for 202 yards and 2 TD with NO turnovers. Supercharged Turbo Terrell Davis goes OFF for 231 yards and 2 TD and Eric Moulds wastes Ray Crockett for 6-145-2.

Browns 20, Bengals 17
Cowboys 35, Lions 31
Falcons 41, Rams 35

The Browns, after upsetting Steve Young and Cincy, go to Denver.

Onto New York! Nobody is going to stop SUPERCHARGED TURBO TERRELL DAVIS!!!!111one

The Jets are kinda scary. Good OL, Mark Brunell, Johnny Johnson, the best TE in the league in Johnny Mitchell, front seven is good. This isn't going to be easy.

Fortunately they have one glaring weakness: rookie RT Fred Miller. The Chiefs have a plan for him: DT at left end.

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That forces a field goal on the Jets first drive. Supercharged Turbo Terrell Davis gets me inside the Jets 10, and it's third and goal.

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Rats! A yard short. 3-3. Defensively, I have a problem: Johnny Johnson is gashing me for chunks.

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This is what comes of two linebacker injuries folks. Still, my defense, as usual, holds and it's 6-3. Both teams are consuming massive clock, though. It's late in the second quarter and I decide to go for it on 4th and 2 from the Jets 37.

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Big pass, Joe. The Chiefs find themselves on NY's doorstep again, and then an absolute disaster happens. #1, while flipping through my formation subs on the playcall screen, I accidentally switch in Kosar for Montana. #2, well, watch.

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Defensive player of the year Ken Norton Jr. tips the ball way from rookie Eric Moulds and rookie Donnie Abraham absolutely ****S me. Would Montana have made a difference here? Would Willie Davis have caught it? One thing is for sure: Keith Cash was wide open in the right flat.

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An absolutely huge play. Not to worry, though. The Chiefs get the second half kickoff and go right down the field. Montana is in fine form today.

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But once again, it's third down...

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NOT THIS TIME, Jets. Supercharged Turbo Terrell Davis shrugs off the tackle and it's 13-10. After only 23 first-half passing yards, though, suddenly Mark Brunell gets going.

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Oh, Christ. The #4 defense picks the worst time all year to give up a TD. And Deion gets his ass toasted. Joe Montana is going to need a rocket up his ass to win this one.

The Chiefs mount a drive, but rookie Patrick Jeffers DROPS a touchdown pass (****ed up recording), and they settle for 3. This will prove to be huge, because the Jets tack on an insurance field goal to make it 23-13. With four minutes left, the Chiefs get a quick field goal drive, and then hold the Jets to a 3 and out.

The Chiefs season comes down to this: 1:43 left, one timeout, from their own 4. Does Montana have one last bit of Magic left in his right arm?

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