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Blunt honesty.
So, 'he' has a 5 year old daughter and 'thinks' he has fallen out of love with her mother... anything can happen, I suppose, but I doubt he was ever really in love with her. I think he was in love with the idea of being a daddy and having a psedudo normal family life with his daughter. (just without all that wife and being married baggage) Honesty is the best policy and he has to remember that he's teaching his daughter what she should look for in a man, how to be as a woman and what to expect from a relationship. Figure it out from there... everything else is drama bullshit. It could be a bitter pill (likely will be), but this is what happens when people just start having kids without thinking about 'down the road'. Someone mentioned custody - I can't imagine that's going to be easy. Good luck and all, but I see a tough road ahead. The guy needs to respect himself, the mother of his kid and his daughter - do what's right here and not continue to kick this can down the road to a primetime segment of Jerry Springer. |
How could we possibly work antifreeze into this equation ?
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Sometimes you take different paths.
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Your brother should make an adult decision for himself because he is an adult human being.
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Oh, and what's her porn star status?
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I feel sorry for the 5 year old daughter she deserves a real dad and you are no real dad and when I say you I mean your "brother"
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for some people it's cost prohibitive to split up.
not sure what his financial situation is like, but over the last 5 years probably 4 or 5 of my friends have divorced....each seemingly more ****ed over than the last. One pays 2400/mo in alimony and child support, and his ex doesn't work (because she didn't work when they were together). another split and pays nearly $1k in child support and he can't afford to live on his own. 42 years old and has been living with his parents for the past 3 years and will be for teh foreseable future. I can't even imagine having to shell out that much coin per month. |
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As someone who was a child of a couple who tried staying together "for the kids' sake", I can honestly say that I would have been happier had they not.
Would you rather your child: a. see two people who are miserable and find out later that it was basically your fault (because, after all, they stayed together because of you); or b. see your parents be happy and know that, although they may not be around 100% of the time, they love you more than anything? Simply put, it's rarely more beneficial for anyone involved, including any children, if people who do not love each other stay together. Also, as a female, I bet her behavior getting worse is because she senses his desire to be with someone else. Small gestures can go a long way in reassuring her she's secure in the relationship. Find out her love language. Would he need to spend a romantic evening with her, do some household chores that she usually takes care of, compliment her a little more often, etc.? If he's not willing to take the time or effort to do any of those things, or if he has no desire to find our what would work, then he should definitely leave. Relationships take two people. If one has "checked out", then there is no relationship. It sounds like he checked out a while ago. |
If he is putting out effort to show her "love" and she is still a bitch it's time to go.
If she responds well to the love, the relationship just needs more effort. |
Lemme **** her
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I Don't give a crap about your dirty laundry. I just came in here to tell you how stupid you are for discussing this with a bunch of strangers on a football forum. That's done. Now this thread is going in the ignore thread list. Moron.
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I'm probably going to be in the minority here.
If you're talking about being unhappy to folks other than the person you're unhappy with, then you're doing it wrong. Communication is absolutely the key. If "your brother" feels beat down by the girlfriend, she likely feels beat down by things he does as well (and this is likely true, even if she's batshit crazy). Women and men don't communicate the same way either, so meet in the middle. Don't tell her what she's doing wrong (because it instantly makes folks defensive), but tell how the things she does and says makes you FEEL. If you can establish that line of communication, and you can air out your grievances and get it all out there in the light, only THEN are you really at a place where you can make a decision about whether you want to move on. Right now? You're miserable. You're tired of getting beat up. You're tired of the fighting. So stop fighting and start talking. If you can do that, you can decide whether what you once had is worth working toward, or if there is too much pain and anger between you two to bridge the gap. As far as kids go, I wouldn't advocate staying together just for her. Kids want parents who love each other and give them that strong foundation. If you can't do it (and you really need to look at whether you CAN put in the work), then move on. Good luck. |
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