What's the proper form for pooping in a urinal?
I hate getting poop splashed back on me.

Shake it more than three times and you're playing with it.

Ehh, I usually just go to the stalls when I can and sit down to piss, societal norms be damned. Assuming that some moronic asshole hasn't sprayed piss all over the seat, it's cleaner. It's also closer to the biologically intended "bathroom squat" than standing is, so far less risk of extra drippage.

Pee-squatter, eh?

Was at a stand up comedy club once and the comedian was talking about guys using hydraulics to wash away the shit stains in toilets. He said "there isn't a guy in this room who hasn't done that."

Anyone want to deny it?

Hydraulics?

Gross is guys wearing flip flops in the can at Arrowhead. Might as well just piss on your own feet.

Hydraulics? I'll deny it.

What if you have wood? Huh? They don't cover THAT in this tutorial!

The key is tricking the penis. You have to grab your penis and start making the motion like you're tucking it back into your pants. Then at the last second before it's actually in your pants, whip it back out and take care of those last few drops.

I would embroider that on a pillow.

At Army training in K-town Germany they had stickers of Osama and Saddam. Pretty funny.

LMAO

I'll never forget when I was in Belgium, they had the pissers out in the hallway on the way TO the bathrooms. Not sure if the girls were selecting their dates that way or not.