that shits no laughing matter:

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i had a coworker that was deathly afraid of spiders. he would flinch even at a dust bunny across the lino... so we printed on plastic rolls. i while he wasn't looking, drew an asterisk on his roll, and wound it to the back side. he nearly jumped thru the roof when he rolled it back to see the splice ROL

:D

Top, although lately I've been thinking about moving it to the right for no particular reason.

bottom and hidden

This. It's really the only correct answer.

We have a cat (he's an asshole) that has figured out how to unroll/shred even when it's under. We've had to start shutting the door.

We have another cat that's figured out how to open doors.

So cat #2 opens the door; cat #1 shred the toilet paper.

:cuss:

Bottom, not hidden. I need to see it to feel safe.

I don't understand.

Bottom all my life.

Bottom always

About five years ago my cat went after the TP for the first time. He had just walked out of the bathroom when I found the shredded roll. So I grabbed the roll and walked around the house, shutting all of the doors so that he was trapped in either the kitchen or the living room. Then I calmly walked around the house throwing the shredded roll of TP at him as I hard as I could. He flew around at top speed, hiding wherever he could, but there really aren't any decent cat hiding places in my house. I did this for probably about 20 minutes. He left the TP alone for a good six months after that. When he did it a 2nd time I repeated the process. Over the next few years I did that to him maybe four or five times. I think it has now been well over a year and a half since he's touched it. See? You can train a cat.