You're moving on. Why would you want to look back when you're looking forward. There's nothing there anyway. She's free now. Even if she finds somebody today, that's none of your business.

I'd be checking it everyday!

Are you trying to destroy any chance of getting back together? Just don't do it.

Sounds like a modern version of constantly driving by the ex-gf's house to see if there are any strange cars in the driveway.

I haven't done since that first night when I was hysterical, now it's a dull urge. I just don't want to cave in that's all.

I've made great strides in the last few days, just need some advice to keep going forward.

Sorry. I haven't read the whole thread, so wasn't saying that you were doing the driving thing. I just remember how painful the checking up on the ex was, especially when you found/saw something that you didn't like. It's probably best to let it go, especially since she would probably be very pissed if she found out you were checking her mail.

agree & I understand. Just a bit tough, just looking for tips for when I get the urge.

:whackit: a lot.

Get out of the house a lot, and NOT to where she lives. Work out at the gym, browse a bookstore, whatever.

Clean your house.

Develop a new hobby, or get back to an old one. (If one of them was :whackit:, you're already ahead of the game with Step 1.)

Avoid familiar favorite places that were for the two of you. Go make some new ones. Try a new restaurant, in a new part of town. Do something you liked to do that she never did. Or do something neither of you did, even something as simple as going to a museum or zoo or something.

to combat looking at her email? lol

that just seemed like you want me to wack off.....

To combat focusing on her, and your relationship.

As for the second comment, I don't lean that way. But, hey, if that's how you want to get your mind off her, go for it. :dom: LMAO

JD has it right. The best way to quit that stuff is to move on from her. That's the root cause.

Everybody I've ever given breakup advice to I've told to DO SOMETHING. It doesn't matter what it is, just stay busy. You sit around on the computer or watching TV or something, your mind will stray back to what you are missing.

If I were you, I'd try to get a group of buddies together and do shit with them. Hang out. Have a good time. When I'd been dumped, that was what worked the best for me. Just go live it up. Go places, do things you want to do. Having good friends is priceless.

If you get to feeling down on yourself, I feel it is important to get shit done. Even if it is as mundane as cleaning the house or organizing a closet. You get a sense that you've done something, and that can go a long way towards repairing self esteem. I'd also recommend to improve yourself. Find something you want to improve or learn a skill. Studying something you're passionate about is pretty good stuff too.

I've had an ex girlfriend hack and read my email...I've had an ex drive 3hrs to dig through my mail enough days to take my cell phone bill(confirmed by her friend a year later)....

Don't do the creepy shit.

Worry about yourself, not her.
You need to also do your own thing and stop being her safety blanket....if you're not together, don't be together.

The quickest way to get over her and move on is to isolate yourself from her, break off any communication with her, and occupy your time with other people and activities. Checking her email accounts is counterproductive.

I'd recommend studying something that isn't in her field of expertise. It would be really, really awkward if she wound up being your GTA or professor....

What's the point of doing it? It's not going to help you get over her any faster.