It's a simple formula really.

Post Count + (Time Here - Time Spent Trolling)
Real Life Annual Income - Lies Told

Sofa King needs to pay off all of my debts and my family's debts with his annual income now!

God ****ing damn it. It ****ing refuses to rain. SON OF A BITCH.

frickin' flatheads must be on nest .. no frickin' fish on me lines .. frick frick frick .....

Put your special sauce on the bait boog and you'll have more fish than you know what to do with!

Sometimes I am a stupid ****ing dumbass that does really ****ing stupid ass things.

Ooooh I hate people who been deliver bad news worth a smile. Worthless ****s.

People that don't like being reminded of their age but then get upset if you forget their birthday.

asset tags suck, especially when some show up missing during an audit.

I really wish I had a punching bag right now. Just a lot of pent up frustration. I need to go off, and punching and kicking the shit out of a bag would help.

A bags nice, but punching a screaming toddler is always a good release.

I just realized the classes I have been taking through MCC don't count for dick towards a Bachelors degree. I feel like choking something.

people who walk around the office with bluetooth headsets, or on a cell phone; pacing, wandering, and talking loud. irritating.

Hey smokers, you need to realize that world is not your effin ashtray. If you smoke keep your butts in your own effin car and throw them out when you get to the closest trashcan. Don't thow them out while driving or while at a stoplight.

Attorney calls to schedule a mediation at our office:

Attorney: I'd like to schedule a mediation for such-and-such date at such-and-such time
Me: Alright, what's the case name? (All I need is the case name and the attorneys involved)
Attorney: Uhhh...Hold on just a minute.... (under his breath) What did I do with that file?

HOLDING

Attorney: Can I call you back?


OR

Anyone: Can I get so-and-so's email address?
Me: Sure. It's...
Anyone: Oh, hold on just a minute. I need to get a paper and pen.


REALLY???