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Rain Man 04-16-2012 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by corn fed chief (Post 8546508)
Are we taking the point of this spear and shoving it up the Black Hole of Raider Nation? Sign me up, Sir!

The army does not condone sodomizing the enemy, but the army isn't always looking.

Anywho, your job will be to make sure people don't lose their lunch whilst engaging in such combat, for you are a ...

Food Service Specialist

(See earlier description.)

Hoover 04-16-2012 04:33 PM

Yo Rain Man, I can't get into my local community college so my Mom said I should Go Green. What do you have or me dude, err Sir!

AndChiefs 04-16-2012 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man (Post 8546477)
Everyone is important when they're an...

Infantryman.

Now, police that area for cigarette butts, soldier.

That does sound important.

vailpass 04-16-2012 04:46 PM

Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual. But now I know why I have always lost women to guys like you. I mean, it's not just the uniform. It's the stories that you tell. So much fun and imagination.

kaplin42 04-16-2012 04:50 PM

Reporting for duty.

corn fed chief 04-16-2012 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man (Post 8546521)
The army does not condone sodomizing the enemy, but the army isn't always looking.

Anywho, your job will be to make sure people don't lose their lunch whilst engaging in such combat, for you are a ...

Food Service Specialist

(See earlier description.)

Does this set me up for a post-Army career as a stay at home dad!?!? Yahtzee!!

lostcause 04-16-2012 04:55 PM

I would like to do my part to fight the good fight. When do we march on Denver?

Rain Man 04-16-2012 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hoover (Post 8546532)
Yo Rain Man, I can't get into my local community college so my Mom said I should Go Green. What do you have or me dude, err Sir!

Oh, cool. You're our first torturer, er, I mean, interrogator. You are a...

Human Intelligence Collector

OVERVIEW

The human intelligence collector is responsible for information collection operations. They provide Army personnel with information about the enemy force’s strengths, weaknesses and potential battle areas.

JOB DUTIES

Screen human intelligence sources and documents
Debrief and interrogate human intelligence sources
Participate in human intelligence operations
Analyze and prepare intelligence reports
REQUIREMENTS

Those who want to serve must first take the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery, a series of tests that helps you better understand your strengths and identify which Army jobs are best for you.

TRAINING

Job training for a human intelligence collector requires 10 weeks of Basic Combat Training and 20 weeks of Advanced Individual Training with on-the-job instruction. Part of this time is spent in the classroom and in the field.

Some of the skills you’ll learn are:

Screenings, debriefings and interrogations
Preparing maps and charts
Human Intelligence analysis
Using computer systems
HELPFUL SKILLS

Foreign languages
Interest in reading maps and charts
Gathering information and studying its meaning
Ability to think, speak and write clearly
An outgoing personality
COMPENSATION

Total compensation includes housing, medical, food, special pay, and vacation time. Learn more about total compensation.
EDUCATION BENEFITS

In the Army, qualified students can earn full-tuition, merit-based scholarships, allowances for books and fees, plus an annual stipend for living expenses. Learn more about education benefits.
FUTURE CIVILIAN CAREERS

The skills you learn will help prepare you for a career in research, business planning and even government agencies such as the Central Intelligence Agency.

http://offload.goarmy.com/careers-an...journalist.png

Rain Man 04-16-2012 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vailpass (Post 8546551)
Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual. But now I know why I have always lost women to guys like you. I mean, it's not just the uniform. It's the stories that you tell. So much fun and imagination.

Chicks dig guys in uniform who do...

Human Resources Information System Management Specialist

OVERVIEW

The human resource information system management specialist operates and manages the information systems for field personnel, keeping all information on the Army and its Soldiers and officers very organized and properly documented.
JOB DUTIES

Receive, review, analyze, process, distribute and maintain personnel information files and supporting documentation
Prepare update cycle control documents and input and transmits to servicing data processing facility
Monitor performance of systems users
Identify problems and discrepancies
REQUIREMENTS

Those who want to serve must first take the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery, a series of tests that helps you better understand your strengths and identify which Army jobs are best for you.
TRAINING

Job training for a human resources information system management specialist requires 10 weeks of Basic Combat Training and eight weeks of Advanced Individual Training with classroom instruction.

HELPFUL SKILLS

Aptitude for speech, business administration and typing
Follow detailed procedures and instructions
Communicate and write clear instructions or correspondence
Ability to work closely with others
COMPENSATION

Total compensation includes housing, medical, food, special pay, and vacation time. Learn more about total compensation.

EDUCATION BENEFITS

In the Army, qualified students can earn full-tuition, merit-based scholarships, allowances for books and fees, plus an annual stipend for living expenses. Learn more about education benefits.

FUTURE CIVILIAN CAREERS

The skills you learn will help prepare you for a career with any business that requires personnel or human resources experience. The payroll, timekeeping and human resources departments of most companies require the kinds of skills that you’ll acquire as a human resources information system management specialist.

http://offload.goarmy.com/careers-an...ter-screen.png

Rain Man 04-16-2012 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by corn fed chief (Post 8546559)
Does this set me up for a post-Army career as a stay at home dad!?!? Yahtzee!!

It's one of the more versatile army careers.

Rain Man 04-16-2012 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostcause (Post 8546564)
I would like to do my part to fight the good fight. When do we march on Denver?

You're going to liberate Denver from our Elwayian hell? Awesome.

You'll get to catch the guys running from Kurt's platoon, because you are in the ...

Military Police

OVERVIEW

Military police protect the lives and property on Army installations by enforcing military laws and regulations. They also control traffic, prevent crime and respond to all emergencies.

JOB DUTIES

Law enforcement patrols
Interview witnesses, victims and suspects in investigations
Crime scene security and processing
Arrest and charge criminal suspects
REQUIREMENTS

Those who want to serve must first take the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery, a series of tests that helps you better understand your strengths and identify which Army jobs are best for you.

TRAINING

Job training for military police requires 20 weeks of One Station Unit Training and on-the-job instruction in police methods. Part of this time is spent in the classroom and in the field.

Some of the skills you’ll learn are:

Basic warrior skills and use of firearms
Military/civil laws and jurisdiction
Investigating and collecting evidence
Traffic and crowd control
Arrest and restraint of suspects
HELPFUL SKILLS

Interest in law enforcement
Ability to make quick decisions
Remain calm under heavy duress
Ability to interact well with people
COMPENSATION

Total compensation includes housing, medical, food, special pay, and vacation time. Learn more about total compensation.

EDUCATION BENEFITS

In the Army, qualified students can earn full-tuition, merit-based scholarships, allowances for books and fees, plus an annual stipend for living expenses. Learn more about education benefits.

FUTURE CIVILIAN CAREERS

The skills you learn will help prepare you for a career with federal, state and local law enforcement.

http://offload.goarmy.com/careers-an...y-police-2.png

vailpass 04-16-2012 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man (Post 8546609)
Chicks dig guys in uniform who do...

Human Resources Information System Management Specialist

OVERVIEW

The human resource information system management specialist operates and manages the information systems for field personnel, keeping all information on the Army and its Soldiers and officers very organized and properly documented.
JOB DUTIES

Receive, review, analyze, process, distribute and maintain personnel information files and supporting documentation
Prepare update cycle control documents and input and transmits to servicing data processing facility
Monitor performance of systems users
Identify problems and discrepancies

I may have to frag myself. Hey at least I have air conditioning, ice and access to hard liquor.

Rain Man 04-16-2012 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vailpass (Post 8546616)
I may have to frag myself. Hey at least I have air conditioning, ice and access to hard liquor.

Oh no, you don't. Not before you get those update cycle control documents inputted and transmitted to the servicing data processing facility.

vailpass 04-16-2012 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man (Post 8546620)
Oh no, you don't. Not before you get those update cycle control documents inputted and transmitted to the servicing data processing facility.

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/xnTU4dKpoB8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Iz Zat Chew 04-16-2012 05:38 PM

Can I transfer to the Air Force?


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