Originally Posted by rico (Post 13827599)

Oh shit! I remember you! Your the dude who posted one of the best rants I’ve seen in months and Sauto was like, “I’m liking this guy more and more” and I responded with a :clap: Holy shit did I miss the mark! Definite misunderstanding!!! I wonder who in the hell I mixed you up with. Did one of the Pats trolls’ names start with a “D?”

Originally Posted by Iowanian (Post 13826978)

I used to date Pats fan's mom.

She was an interesting and talented lady.

My favorite part was on rainy nights, she would turn a lamp on, set it on the floor and turn off all of the other lights as she removed her pants and ease in front of the light so I could muse at her womanly shape. Seductively, she would reach down and grab herself by the meat flaps and twist them into the most amazing shadow puppet show.

It was always impressive as she smooshed it into a turkey neck and I swear....could make a gobble sound from her south mouth. the donkey, the dolphin and the circling buzzard were also pleasing.

Originally Posted by Iowanian (Post 13827109)

At the time I was dating Pats Fan mom, I had a friend who was blind.

One night I wanted to do something nice for him, so I had Ms. Patsfan mom turn on some music. As we danced I placed a blindfold on her face and laid her down on the sofa bed. I worked the combination on her panty lock and off they came. I slowly began press down on the mattress between her hairy toed feet, but I stepped back, and led my friend, the Ronnie Milsap-American into my place. He eased up, spit on his index finger and pushed it into her 2 chute clear to the top knuckle.

Suddenly, he recoiled, pulled away and sat back onto a chair. Oblivious that his finger looked like he had been tarring a roof, he reached for and gulped a glass of lukewarm water he found on the coffee table. He was pale as a sheet and looked like he was going to be ill.

He said "you know I'm blind right"
"sure man" I retorted.
"you know I can read braille"
"I assumed"

"well....when I put my finger in there, the polyps read "Tom Brady has no soul".

Originally Posted by Iowanian (Post 13827761)

I feel a little bad about last night. We're not supposed to bully people, especially those with special needs.

They have to call their team the Pats, because most of the fan base can't say the letter R. My 7 year old talked like a Patriots fan and I sent him to speech therapy.


Also. Marky Mark sucks.

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties (Post 13827704)

those ****s are going to really hate us when we cum on their faces in January

then they will just turn into Broncos fans

"but muh lombardeez!"

Originally Posted by Iowanian (Post 13827761)

I feel a little bad about last night. We're not supposed to bully people, especially those with special needs.

They have to call their team the Pats, because most of the fan base can't say the letter R. My 7 year old talked like a Patriots fan and I sent him to speech therapy.


Also. Marky Mark sucks.