I love my car.

Tequila Shots + Fantasy Football Player Auction = Shitty ****ing Fantasy Team

Tom Brandstater is the future! :)

My poor kid is going to get hurt at daycare today... I just know it. :( Dad decided to put him in his KU onesy... ON FUGGIN HUSKER FRIDAY! ROFL

Rock Chalk little lumpyHawk!

:D

It's going to be bad... when the binkies start flying, my little man will put the smack down and eat all their socks! ROFL

At my step-daughter's daycare....there is a little mexican girl that has a short bob of a haircut. All of the 2-3 year olds call her Dora. Is that wrong?

Heh. Maybe a little. I can't stand Dora.

I got sick of these ridiculous "No One Should have to die because they can't get health care" status updates on Facebook. I saw one a friend posted and made it my own. If you use Facebook, give this one a shot:

"No one should die because they can't watch NFL football, and no one should go broke because they can't afford the NFL Sunday Ticket. Free Sunday Ticket for all. If you agree with this, please post this as your status."

I'd settle for a two-way with either one of 'em.

I did the same thing. If by "trap" you mean "forearm muscle" and by "pull-ups" you mean "frantically whacking off while watching some teenage girls practice cheerleading". But that's nitpicking.

I think I read about you in the news. Pervert.

You lucky devils, you!!

NFL says Michael Vick eligible to play in 3rd game

By BARRY WILNER, AP Football Writer Barry Wilner, Ap Football Writer – Fri Sep 4, 7:16 am ET

NEW YORK – After missing two seasons and serving an 18-month prison term, sitting out two regular-season games can't be too difficult for Michael Vick.

Vick got the green light for full reinstatement by Roger Goodell on Thursday, when the NFL commissioner said the disgraced quarterback could play later this month instead of waiting until October. Vick, Goodell and Eagles coach Andy Reid met earlier in the day.

"I was surprised, but I'm just blessed to have an opportunity," Vick said after the Eagles lost 38-27 to the Jets in the preseason finale. "It's still somewhat like a dream when I step out there on the field, coming where I came from two years ago and where I've been. I just try to enjoy the moment. I can't complain about anything.

"If it was a six-game suspension, and if that was the ruling and the final verdict, I would've been happy and just would've said I had to work on personal development and perfecting my game."

Vick signed with Philadelphia on Aug. 13 and played in two preseason games. Goodell's decision means he can return in the Sept. 27 home game against Kansas City. It would be Vick's first regular-season game since he was sent to prison for his role in operating a dogfighting ring. The former Atlanta Falcons star was released from federal custody July 20.

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Cattle have horns again. Long horns. Rainman must have un-polled them.

I was an idiot a few months ago. Had some troubles and posted like a fool.

My apologies to anyone I offended.

Listening to the two guys on ESPN's "Mike and Mike" this morning insult each other (one went to Ohio State, IIRC--it was the running back who played for the Vikings, I think--and the other went to Michigan?).

"How do you make Ohio State cookies? Put them in a bowl and beat them for three hours."

"What do you call a Michigan player with a championship ring? A thief."

"How do you get an Ohio State grad off your lawn? Pay for the pizza."

:D

walking through the store and upon seeing a narsty C. U. N.ext T.uesday, you say (what you thought was under your breath) “narsty bitch, I hope you are drinking antifreeze when you walk into that AIDS tree” and the GISUW jerks his head around and says “what the hell did you just say?! AIDS Tree!?”
Yeah, you know you spend way too much time here.

Does anyone else experience the 3 month work week and 20 minute weekend?

I think Mark Mangino is actually fatter this year. I think he's over 500 pounds.

LOL Que up the picture of him holding the 100lb chicken leg.

there is NOONE here today....it's strange.

Those people that have those huge stars on their houses. Is that a sign of a cult membership? Devil worshipers or those getting ready to get on the mothership?

If you have to ask, you can't be told. If they tell you, they'll have to convert you or kill you and eat you.

I hope your life is not in danger know. [This message will self destruct if yours does.] wink wink nod nod

I GOT $600 IN DA BANK MUTHA****AS!!!!

I need a massage.

my soul is tired.

Watch kids play.

And then make em dance with buckshot.

The fire never dies though the flame flickers in the storm from time to time.

Just to remind you that you're alive.

I need a nap

ghey

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Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces.

FAT BITCHES HAVIN' A 'Q

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FAT BITCHES EAT CHIPS TOO!

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FAT BITCHES LIKE THEM DOGS!

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FAT BITCHES **** LIKE HOGS!

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FAT BITCHES DON'T GET LAID

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FAT BITCHES GOTTA GET PAID

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nooooooooooo

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Scarrrrry....and I'm not kidding you THIS TIME!!!!.....

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This site is boring today. A chink went into a bar and asked for a Matta. The barstender says "What's a Matta?" The chink says "For one thing, caught guy ****ing sister in mouth"
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Racist, unfunny, and doesn't even make sense.

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Watching Notre Dame at Michigan. Not really rooting for either. I do enjoy the crowd shots of Michigan fans throwing women up and down in the air, but it'd be better if they were in bikinis. (The women, not the guys throwing them. Just thought I'd be clear on that.)

Don't get me wrong, it would be pretty funny if the guys throwing the chicks in the air were in bikinis. :D But it's a different reaction (i.e. guys in bikinis = funny, chicks in bikinis = arousing).

It pisses me off when people who have kids that are brats, then complain constantly about other peoples kids.

On a side note, I wish NFL stadiums would be more like college stadiums, more fans, less box suites, more crowd noise .... oh shit, but then Jerry Jones wouldn't get to charge $90 for a pizza in the $800,000 box suite ...

Yup. The Pats used to play in a shithole called Schaefer Stadium (later renamed Sullivan, then finally just called Foxboro). It was a craptacular large oval, totally enclosed, bench seats. Nasty and cheap. But when it was full, it was noisy and intimidating, with half-drunken fans screaming and stomping on the metal. They tore it down and built the state-of-the-art Gillette, complete with expensive luxury boxes, a pretty lighthouse at one end, some nice eateries, and club seats from 20 to 20 that stay mostly empty. It's a beautiful stadium, nice to look at, with great sight lines, and an enjoyable experience for everyone from families to season-ticket holders... and is totally devoid of any home-field advantage in terms of noise, and is a place that most blue-collar fans can't afford to go to.

Oh give me a effen break!!!! You just lost your cred. Any Patriot fan that would prefer that correctly called shithole over what they have now is the first person from New England I've actually heard say that. NOBODY ever sang the praises of that dump when it was open. And just because its greatest moment was the wonderful last game in the snow doesn't change the fact it was THE WORST stadium in the NFL.
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My pillow will be wet with tears tonight, while I lie awake lamenting my loss of 'cred' with you.

As I said, it's a very nice stadium, but it's totally devoid of home-field advantage. The design took all the noise factor out of it physically. The high ticket prices, luxury boxes, and club seats took all the noise factor out of it spiritually. Many the season-ticket holder has lamented the lack of noise, and the new "pink hat" atmosphere. Yes, it's nice that the violence and alcoholism is gone. But there are ways to design a stadium to keep the home-field advantage, like a college stadium does.

A kid goes away to college and grows a goatee. He sends a picture home and writes "I look like a count, no?". His Dad reads the note and says to his wife disgustedly "Dumb, stupid kid. I spend all this money on a college education and the kid can't even spell!!"
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I've been to games there and it was plenty loud. Sounds like more typical, whining, everything sucks Boston fans. Nothing ever good enough.
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Oh shit JD... look out! You just lost all your cred with PZ.
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I hope it's a long fall. But with an early frost. I'M SICK AND ****ING TIRED OF THESE MOTHER****ING CHIGGERS ON THIS MOTHER****ING PLAIN.

Did I say anything about "everything sucks" and "nothing ever good enough"? Don't put words in my mouth, f**ktard. I was simply making a response to SOMEONE ELSE'S POINT about how college stadiums are more loud and exuberant than pro stadiums sometimes.

And it may have been "plenty loud" for you, but apparently you're in the minority because many have complained about how the open end and the seats deaden the noise.

And I stand by what I said about ticket prices and pink-hatters. I despise when TV comes back after halftime, and the ball is being kicked off, and the entire middle of the stadium has empty seats 'cause all the club-seat people are inside having $9 beers. F**k them. Real fans would give their eyeteeth to have those seats.

I just checked Ticketmaster. (Believe it or not, there are individual tickets still available for Monday night.) I pulled up a ticket in Section 111 (30-yard line), 20th row. Very good seat. Face value? $169, before they whack you with fees. That's just crazy. JMO.

It cracks me up that all this time Shitsprayer is Jewish.
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I think I have restless leg syndrome, and I wish there were NFL games every night.

So much for the diet. I tried a chocolate lava cake from domino's. Heaven.

It's Wednesday night and I'm wishing there was a football game on. Can't believe it's only been 2 days since my last fix.

Did you watch every game on Sunday?

If not, Ten Yard Torrents awaits ye!

REP!

I was thinking the SAME thing this afternoon!

You eat food from Dominos? You are brave. Or stupid. But I like you, so I'll go with brave.

OK, did you make the commercial in your av? Because it is fooking hilarious.

Sitting in a tree waiting for bambi... think I might shoot a turkey though.
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Went to a new place today for Super Thai Hot Thursday and it was good. We will return next Thursday.

They previewed it at the beginning, but wait until you get a load of Halle Berrys dress on the Jay Leno Show tonight. If you are a man you will shoot your load!
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I wish I could go out to a bar and have a beer... or 10.

Stuck in work and flipping channels... caught the end of "Ghost Rider", which I'd managed to avoid. Looks like it was a pretty bad flick and a fair butchering of what could've been a good comic-book movie. However, I did discover one thing: Eva Mendes. Holy f**k. I'd heard the name, and seen the odd pic on the Interwebz, but I'd never actually seen her in anything TV or movie. I would f**k her six ways to Sunday. She's like the hottest mix of a bunch of chicks I lust for. It's like someone took the best parts of Cindy Crawford and Gina Gershon and threw them into a blender with a healthy helping of CNN's Robin Meade and just a sprinkling of Jennifer Lopez and Eva Longoria. :hump:

Could you PLEASE!! turn that into a PS3 commercial?

Look on the bright side, Chiefs fans... at least your team outplayed the opponent. You could've been a Patriots fan today.

Oh, yeah, and Matt Cassel STILL looked better than Tom Brady today.

F**k. I need to go kick a puppy or beat up a nun or something.

Take heart, Chiefs fans. 409 total yards to 166, 25 first downs to 11, a 38-to-21 minute time-of-possession edge, and holding your opponent to 13 points: if the Chiefs do that all the time, they win 9 out of 10 games. There will be growing pains, as the new coach and new QB and new players all get used to each other. Oakland may have won, but they clearly suck balls and are NOT better than KC.

I went to Bubba Gump Shrimp in Denver a few months ago and have decided that we need more movie based resturaunts.

I think the next one should be based on the movie Seven.
Each room could be a tribute to each of the murders, the wallpaper could be made to look like John Doe's hand writted journals and imagine the funny names you could give the specials for the night...

lol @ gay dudes trying to scam me for a BJ

What's Hootie been up to lately?

So, I got an email from the ex (yes, the car one). He became a dad yesterday morning. I feel so sorry for that baby girl.
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why the f is he emailing you to tell you that? That's weird.

lol @ where you hang out and what you do that you have gay dudes trying to scam you for sex :dom: ROFL

Flipping channels this morning, checking out both ESPN and the Weather Channel, I came to this conclusion: while skinny chicks don't usually do it for me, two thin MILFs I'd :hump: are Hannah Storm and Stephanie Abrams. :)

really? Stephanie Abrams?

pics?

She's got good boobs for a thin chick. The mole doesn't bug me (I liked Cindy Crawford, LOL). Her lips look nice for, uh.... ;)

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Sure, sometimes she seems to work the "gay WNBA" vibe, but other times she looks pretty good.

I didn't say she was at the top of the list, LOL... Just said, for a skinny chick, she's appealing.

Fair enough....I just don't like her nose. I feel like it would get in the way of some things.

i'd let her sit on my face and wiggle

I'm not sure. Either he thinks we're still friends or he just sent it to everyone in his yahoo address book. Surely, he can't think we're still friends.
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I do not own an umbrella.