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-   -   Life STORYTIME w/yer crazy cousin rabblerouser (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=312474)

Rain Man 12-20-2017 05:56 PM
Okay, take notes, people. I'm going to give you a very simple formula for identifying and filtering potential mates. You use the following formula.

Her IQ
+ Her annual earned income/3000
+ her net worth divided by 25000
+ the net worth of her parents/(50000 x number of her siblings)
- the number of times she's been arrested in the past 5 years x 80
- the number of times her immediate family members have been arrested over the past 5 years x 15
+ ((her bust measurement - her hip measurement)^3)*400
+ (cube root(number of times she's ever made out with another woman)*100)* (number of men she's made out with/number of women she's made out with)
- number of men she's ever made out with *60
- number of times that she's used illegal drugs in the past 12 months * 1000
- number of cigarettes/joints she's smoked in the past 30 days*750
+ 34*(total number of times she laughs when watching one episode each of
your ten favorite sitcoms of all time and your 5 favorite movies)
- the average cost of her shoes currently on hand x 12


Take the sum of that and multiply it by the following:

[(1-her highest Blood Alcohol Content in the past year)^2]

/(the carat size of the engagement ring that she feels is appropriate)^3

* (% of her interactions with service workers in the past 60 days where she grew angry or insulting)^2

* (the ratio of the younger age of you two over the older age)

* (your weight/her weight)

The higher the number, the better potential mate. You can thank me later.

stumppy 12-20-2017 06:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man (Post 13299318)
Okay, take notes, people. I'm going to give you a very simple formula for identifying and filtering potential mates. You use the following formula.

Her IQ
+ Her annual earned income/3000
+ her net worth divided by 25000
+ the net worth of her parents/(50000 x number of her siblings)
- the number of times she's been arrested in the past 5 years x 80
- the number of times her immediate family members have been arrested over the past 5 years x 15
+ ((her bust measurement - her hip measurement)^3)*400
+ (cube root(number of times she's ever made out with another woman)*100)* (number of men she's made out with/number of women she's made out with)
- number of men she's ever made out with *60
- number of times that she's used illegal drugs in the past 12 months * 1000
- number of cigarettes/joints she's smoked in the past 30 days*750
+ 34*(total number of times she laughs when watching one episode each of
your ten favorite sitcoms of all time and your 5 favorite movies)
- the average cost of her shoes currently on hand x 12


Take the sum of that and multiply it by the following:

[(1-her highest Blood Alcohol Content in the past year)^2]

/(the carat size of the engagement ring that she feels is appropriate)^3

* (% of her interactions with service workers in the past 60 days where she grew angry or insulting)^2

* (the ratio of the younger age of you two over the older age)

* (your weight/her weight)

The higher the number, the better potential mate. You can thank me later.


Or......will she let you PIIHB.

seclark 12-20-2017 07:29 PM
cum kisses sound ****in nasty.
not in.
sec

rabblerouser 12-21-2017 08:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man (Post 13299318)
Okay, take notes, people. I'm going to give you a very simple formula for identifying and filtering potential mates. You use the following formula.

Her IQ
+ Her annual earned income/3000
+ her net worth divided by 25000
+ the net worth of her parents/(50000 x number of her siblings)
- the number of times she's been arrested in the past 5 years x 80
- the number of times her immediate family members have been arrested over the past 5 years x 15
+ ((her bust measurement - her hip measurement)^3)*400
+ (cube root(number of times she's ever made out with another woman)*100)* (number of men she's made out with/number of women she's made out with)
- number of men she's ever made out with *60
- number of times that she's used illegal drugs in the past 12 months * 1000
- number of cigarettes/joints she's smoked in the past 30 days*750
+ 34*(total number of times she laughs when watching one episode each of
your ten favorite sitcoms of all time and your 5 favorite movies)
- the average cost of her shoes currently on hand x 12


Take the sum of that and multiply it by the following:

[(1-her highest Blood Alcohol Content in the past year)^2]

/(the carat size of the engagement ring that she feels is appropriate)^3

* (% of her interactions with service workers in the past 60 days where she grew angry or insulting)^2

* (the ratio of the younger age of you two over the older age)

* (your weight/her weight)

The higher the number, the better potential mate. You can thank me later.
https://youtu.be/vwbKYcBdVyk

rabblerouser 12-21-2017 08:42 AM
I know these equations. I just forgot?

Pusay induced amnesia.

cooper barrett 12-21-2017 09:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by raybec 4 (Post 13299167)

WRONG:

St Louis Verizon Amphitheater !st annual Cru-Fest 2008

https://s26.postimg.org/hcun5bg5l/cru.png

rabblerouser 12-21-2017 09:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cooper barrett (Post 13300102)
WRONG:

St Louis Verizon Amphitheater !st annual Cru-Fest 2008

https://s26.postimg.org/hcun5bg5l/cru.png
Ha.

Take a ride...

On the WILD SIDE!!??

Scary bidness.

cooper barrett 12-21-2017 09:34 AM
I had one like that, body made for sin. We went to Michael Bublé and she bitched about the seats, my having to stop on the way, yada yada. I bet a guy playing pool after the show at the Red Velvet, that if I lost, I'd leave her with him. Hard as I tried to lose... She threw up in the baby sitters driveway and asked me if I'd help clean it up the next morning.
Never saw her again.

It's best that you ran, not walked away from that one.

https://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Cr...e3_5250922.jpg


Quote:
Originally Posted by rabblerouser (Post 13299248)
Poor, poor Bill.

I want to take this opportunity to thank Chiefs Planet, every poster here (except SAUTO), for this sobering, unfiltered glimpse of what my future held with Alcoholic Babymamma Drama and the 2 shitlins.

I've got my own kid, a decent job, trucks to work on, flooring to fix, a record to mix...

What the CUCK was I even doing hanging out with that crazy bitch?? The pussy was damn good, great even.

But I've had great pussies before her, I shall have some great ones after, as well...

Because NO pussy is worth that shit.
Better off beating off.

rabblerouser 12-21-2017 09:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cooper barrett (Post 13300120)
I had one like that, body made for sin. We went to Michael Bublé and she bitched about the seats, my having to stop on the way, yada yada. I bet a guy playing pool after the show at the Red Velvet, that if I lost, I'd leave her with him. Hard as I tried to lose... She threw up in the baby sitters driveway and asked me if I'd help clean it up the next morning.
Never saw her again.

It's best that you ran, not walked away from that one.

https://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Cr...e3_5250922.jpg
Yup. I forgot the matrix.

She was 'friend zoned' for years, reappeared in the 'fun zone...but the crazy/hot matrix doesn't account for those that appear to be "fun zone" but are actually truly always firmly in the "danger zone". Redhead, too. ****ing CRAZY hot.

She should have Kenny 'Danger Zone' Loggins following her around, singing her theme song...

cooper barrett 12-21-2017 11:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by rabblerouser (Post 13300156)
Yup. I forgot the matrix.

She was 'friend zoned' for years, reappeared in the 'fun zone...but the crazy/hot matrix doesn't account for those that appear to be "fun zone" but are actually truly always firmly in the "danger zone". Redhead, too. ****ing CRAZY hot.

She should have Kenny 'Danger Zone' Loggins following her around, singing her theme song...
I picked one up, grabbed her purse, carried her outside my house and went back inside, just like Fred Flintstone putting the cat out for the night. She tried everything to get back in. She finally got the hint and got in her car and left. I have a couple more stories about that one I could share but not here...

Believe me I've met crazy. The one I have now is just crazy enough for me not to get bored with, and smart enough to know a good thing when she sees it. Plus, I like it when people I know mistake her as my daughter:D:D:D:D

There are a few good points in RainMan's post that if I am ever single again, I will reference. Hang in there, just when you're about to give up hope one will come your way.

My advice, Never date someone who is Dependant on you or has more problems than you...for obvious reasons.

I am a sucker for a hot redhead, share pictures?

cooper barrett 12-21-2017 11:21 AM
Could you show us a completed worksheet? Maybe some baseline numbers? For a friend...:D:D

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man (Post 13299318)
Okay, take notes, people. I'm going to give you a very simple formula for identifying and filtering potential mates. You use the following formula.

Her IQ
+ Her annual earned income/3000
+ her net worth divided by 25000
+ the net worth of her parents/(50000 x number of her siblings)
- the number of times she's been arrested in the past 5 years x 80
- the number of times her immediate family members have been arrested over the past 5 years x 15
+ ((her bust measurement - her hip measurement)^3)*400
+ (cube root(number of times she's ever made out with another woman)*100)* (number of men she's made out with/number of women she's made out with)
- number of men she's ever made out with *60
- number of times that she's used illegal drugs in the past 12 months * 1000
- number of cigarettes/joints she's smoked in the past 30 days*750
+ 34*(total number of times she laughs when watching one episode each of
your ten favorite sitcoms of all time and your 5 favorite movies)
- the average cost of her shoes currently on hand x 12


Take the sum of that and multiply it by the following:

[(1-her highest Blood Alcohol Content in the past year)^2]

/(the carat size of the engagement ring that she feels is appropriate)^3

* (% of her interactions with service workers in the past 60 days where she grew angry or insulting)^2

* (the ratio of the younger age of you two over the older age)

* (your weight/her weight)

The higher the number, the better potential mate. You can thank me later.

redfan 12-21-2017 11:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by rabblerouser (Post 13300156)
Redhead, too. ****ing CRAZY hot.

...
Firecrotch, hmmm? "Ya spins the wheel, ya takes ya chances!"
I've never met one that wasn't batshit insane.

In58men 12-21-2017 11:59 AM
Stopped reading after "perfect ass and perky tits" to see if there were any pictures.

Thread fail. I'm moving on too.

rabblerouser 12-21-2017 12:02 PM
I don't think I have any pics, honestly. She's not on fb, and pics aren't really my thing 'cause I'm a dude...

rabblerouser 12-21-2017 12:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by redhed (Post 13300329)
Firecrotch, hmmm? "Ya spins the wheel, ya takes ya chances!"
I've never met one that wasn't batshit insane.
That shit IS addicting.

The Firecrotch. Not the batshit part.

Unfortunately, one always seems to follow the other.


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